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Talking Sex
Bringing Up Sexual Concerns with Your Doctor

Let's face it, looking at sex information on the Internet anonymously is a lot easier than talking with your doctor about your sexual concerns and for many this can cause major anxiety. However, in order to get the best care that you deserve, you need to be able to communicate your questions. Bringing up sexual topics with your doctor allows you to be more empowered and healthy.

Remember that a doctor is also human and may have fears and anxiety regarding sexual topics themselves. Sometimes this is because of their need to maintain appropriate boundaries with their patients or even because they have sexual issues themselves.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

Medical school courses on sexual anatomy and human sexuality are relatively recent and are not addressed in all medical schools. If you do not get the information you need, don't take no for an answer, even if you have to ask your doctor for a referral to someone who can answer your questions.

Some doctors may minimize problems or dismiss them, but that's usually because they don't know how to help. They may be uneducated about it, unaware of potential treatments or even jump to conclusions that it may be all psychological. Stay empowered and educate yourself and certainly use sexual health resources online to become more educated in discussing these matters with your physician.

Most doctors will be receptive to your comments and to new information; particularly if it is based on science and research. A good way to start the conversation is: "I was hoping that you might be able to help me with a concern (or question) I have." Many find it helps to reference an article or book and starting the conversation with "I was reading this and wondered what you thought." You can also write down your questions using the correct terms for anatomical parts while framing things in a positive manner such as "What is the healthiest way to deal with vaginal dryness?"

Again, be persistent. If you don't get the response you want, don't feel badly about finding another physician. Even if your doctor does not specialize or treat sexual health issues they can always refer you to someone who can.

For a reputable sex therapist you can find a local referral through


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