Her first kiss was but a mere peck at the tender age of fourteen. When she did begin to date at sixteen the guys had always been a friend first and then a slow, respectful courtship before any foreplay was the norm. When Lily was in her Junior year, she began dating a nice guy named James who was about a year and a half older and who had worked hard for several months to get Lily to pay attention to him. She was not easily taken in my smooth lines or perfunctory interests and he had his work cut out for him building a rapport with her before she agreed to date him. The guys in school called James "The Terminator" because he was built much like Arnold Schwarzenegger, had similar physical features and hair to match. James had not always been the muscular guy he had made himself into. In fact, he had just lost weight a couple years before and had overcome a chubby physique replacing it with a perfected, chiseled work of art that he often admired in the mirror even when Lily was in the room. He would point out his different muscles and become so impressed with what he had accomplished. While Lily appreciated that he had worked so hard, she was not impressed with his bulging muscles the way that he had imagined. She was far less superficial than that and had been drawn to him because of the patient and kind way he had courted her for so many months. They had met in the school cafeteria and she had caught his eye immediately with her long flowing, light, blonde hair and bright red lipstick. He quickly had found a way to strike up a conversation with her and introduced himself. As she blushed from his overt attention, he asked for her number in the smoothest way he could muster but she politely declined as she was not quick to make herself vulnerable to such pursuits. Eventually, he won her over and she gave it to him. James was smitten and found out everything he could about Lily so that he would often be around when her play rehearsal was over or she was at a party. After several meetings and a great deal of effort on his part to woo her, she finally agreed to go on a date with him. James acted the part of a perfect gentleman and Lily appreciated how sweet he was to her as he did small things to let her know he respected her; such as opening the car door for her and offering his coat when she was cold. Lily was careful about sexuality but she was no prude as she loved thinking about it and she had become quite skilled at giving oral sex to James. She loved the taste of his cock in her mouth and the feel of when he would cum hard into the back of her throat. She loved the feel of James' tongue on her clit and the waves of pleasure she felt as she had orgasms. One of her favorite things to do was to use her shower head at home and masturbate. She had a large bathroom with a beautiful bathtub with a stall shower enclosed in glass. She would lie on her back with her legs against the glass and place the pulsing shower head with water so that it would massage her clit until she would cum so hard that it was difficult not to squeal with delight and tip off her parents as to why she loved such long showers. She had started this at the age of fourteen and had become quite skilled at climaxing so much so that she could do it within 60 seconds or less and do it multiple times. Before she met James she often pleasured herself thinking about a guy she had a crush on named Tom, whom she never spoke to, but spent many nights cumming just thinking about. After several months of more serious dating with James, Lily decided that she was in love with him and knew he loved her enough to offer her virginity to him. She did so after a great deal of careful consideration and preparation. They spent the afternoon at the Washington Monument having a picnic on a most beautiful day. They returned in the evening to James' house where he lit candles and played sensual music. He was gentle and patient with her and when the moment was right they made love. Lily lay in his arms afterward and told him how amazing it was for her and that while it hurt a little that it was a good kind of pain and that she was glad that she had given herself to him. James who had been with a couple other girls before her, was completely in love with Lily and told her that while he had sex before, that he had never experienced something as intimate and passionate as this. The two lovers lay there sharing themselves and feeling that the future was theirs, James told her that he wanted to marry her in the future. James continued to woo Lily through his affections and she always matched him in effort. The two of them were closer than they had ever been to anyone and they never argued or were disrespectful toward one another. It was a relationship that both had always wanted and they never dreamed would end badly. A few weeks later, James began to become easily upset by things. Lily found herself having to calm James down about his jealousy of other boys she was in a play with and assured him that there was nothing to worry about. He would become angry over the most trivial things such as slow service at a restaurant or a slow driver in front of him. Soon his anger became rageful and Lily grew concerned about why James was beginning to become prone to threaten people with violence over such small incidents. As time passed, James was still sweet in the way he treated Lily, but he was a bit too preoccupied with body building and was becoming more and more possessive of her anywhere they went. It was when he began yelling at an elderly woman for taking a parking space that he felt entitled to that she began to lose respect for him and soon she could not help but notice a variety of flags that made it clear that something was seriously wrong. When Lily gently confronted James over his behavior, he revealed to her that he had been taking steroids and was going to start taking the type you inject to get even better results. He asked if she would give him the shot in his behind as he had a hard time reaching the right angle. Lily was shocked to not only find out that he was taking steroids but was terrified of what he was asking her to do for him. He begged her to understand and help him and assured her that he was being careful and knew what he was doing. Reluctantly, she gave him the shot once and told him that she would never do it again and for him to have a friend do it in the future as she wanted nothing to do with it. After learning of the steroids, Lily tried to reassure herself of the story that James had presented her with; that it was safe and that he was knowledgeable about what he was doing, but in the back of her mind it was a concern that would not go away. A few weeks passed and they were at a party where a guy came up to Lily and was talking about a class they had together. It was an innocent conversation but when James saw him talking to Lily all he saw was a threat. He came up to the poor guy and a huge confrontation began. Lily assured James that nothing had happened and that they had simply been discussing a class, but James was enraged and began to push the guy around while yelling at him to stay away from his girl. Lily was mortified and continued to try and calm James down but the more she defended the guy from her class the more James insisted that perhaps she was encouraging it and he began to push her. Lily tearfully ran from the house and James, realizing his mistake, apologized saying that he was so very sorry and it would never happen again. He said that it could be that he had gone too high on his steroid dose and he promised he would lower them. Lily accepted his apology but was wary of the possibility that things like this would continue and unfortunately they did. Each time, James would give an Oscar worthy performance apologizing for his outbursts and each time Lily reluctantly accepted his apologies hoping that things would change. She begged him to stop taking the steroids and while he promised he would do less, the truth was that he was doing more and more behind her back. Lily focused on school, her play rehearsals with dates here and there with James. It was the end of the school year and James was graduating and would be going away to college soon. Lily figured that she would try and make the best of things until he left. One day as she was walking down the hall she passed Tom whom she had not seen in a while and she reflected on how the mere thought of him had made her orgasm so many times. Tom was one of the best looking guys in the school with dark blond hair and a devilish smile. His blue eyes were the talk of many girls in class and his muscular physique made him quite desirable. Today one would say he looked much like the British movie star Alex Pettyfer from the movies "I Am Number Four" and "Magic Mike." As Lily watched Tom walk down the hall she found herself blushing and feeling overwhelmed by his mere presence. While it was true that she had a crush on him over the years, Tom always had a girlfriend when she would inquire about his relationship status through mutual friends and she resigned herself to be content with admiring him from afar. Today in the hall as she passed him, she realized that she was still very attracted to him and she wondered to herself if there would ever be a chance to date him. She quickly reminded herself of her loyalty to James and tried to shake him from her thoughts, but Tom often found his way into her dreams. That very night she had a dream that Tom and she had gone to a local park where teenage lovers often go. Her unconscious mind found a way to be with Tom and feel much like the poster of Marilyn Monroe made her feel. She could feel his moist, wanting lips against hers and then his warm tongue slip in-between her cherry colored lipstick and into her longing mouth. Their tongues slowly fucking one another deeper and deeper until the desire consumed them both. She could feel his warm, strong hands on her soft, milky breasts pulling back her blouse and lacy white bra exposing her erect pink nipples that became more firm with his touch. His lips and tongue slid down her neck and her breath became fast and heavy as her pussy flowed with wet cum and she longed for his body to merge with her own. Her dream offered her sexual bliss as she reached down with her hand and felt the smooth, firm skin of his engorged shaft throbbing as it pumped blood through him creating a sexual tool of delight for her. Her soft moans beckoned him for more and she felt his fingers slide down her soft abdomen and into her white lace panties. His fingers caressed her soft, trimmed, blonde pubic hair and found their way in-between her slickened, pink, pussy lips. As his fingers slid up and down her inner labia her wetness covered his hand and he knew how badly she wanted him. She spread her legs and wrapped them around his waist pulling him closer as she pulled open his button fly jeans. Tom moved his pants and boxers down his legs as she removed her lace panties. In just a moment they were embracing again, pressed against one another with their warm, nude bodies moving passionately against one another. As she felt his hard cock begin to penetrate her longing pussy, she gasped and felt herself completely losing herself to her desire for him. As he slowly thrust himself into her tight, wet cunt she moaned with delight and immediately began to climax from the sheer buildup of passion she had felt for him for so long. Her pussy began to strongly contract against his throbbing cock and as it did she awoke out of breath with her panties filled with cum. Lily had awoken that Saturday morning with a lovely orgasm and she realized that she wanted Tom much more than she had ever realized. She lay there thinking about the delicious dream for a half an hour before she allowed herself to bring herself back to reality. She thought of James and felt guilty for having had such a sexual dream of someone else, especially a friend of his. She decided to put her dream and Tom out of her mind and focus her affections on James. After all, she was a person who valued integrity and loyalty and she would not allow herself to act any other way. Later that afternoon she made her way over to James' house to hang out as he had just gotten back from the gym and was going to take a shower before they were going to make their way to a party that night. Lily was wearing a new teal dress that hugged her curves and she had her long blond hair up on the sides with loose curls that came down to her lower back. She had felt rather sensual after her dream that morning and her appearance reflected it. James was getting his clothes out to get ready for the party and mentioned to Lily that he had a conversation about her with a friend of his earlier. Lily sat petting James' golden retriever as she waited for him to get himself together for the night and listened to James ask her if she knew Tom. "Tom?," Lily tried to not look shocked as she asked James to repeat the name. "Yeah, you know Tom, anyway he was talking about you with me earlier." James seemed proud of the story he was about to tell and excited to tell it. "Yes, I know Tom, what was he saying about me?" she swallowed hard and tried not to show any of the emotion she felt by the mere mentioning of his name. "Well, he was saying how he wished he could have a girl as pretty and classy as you and wanted to know how I managed to get someone like you because his girlfriends are pretty but not as beautiful as you." James looked confident in himself as he said this and continued in a gloating manner. "Yeah, I guess he was kind of jealous that he could not seem to find someone as hot and cool as my girl and he always gets the girls he wants so I guess it made him a little envious that I had someone like you." "Oh, well that is a nice compliment." Lily felt her heart pounding out of her chest. She could not believe her ears and thought that she had been invisible to Tom as he had never given any indication of even noticing her let alone admiring her. She felt her pussy get wet again as she recalled the dream and then felt completely guilty for even thinking about it especially in the presence of James. James then casually mentioned that Tom might drop by before the party and asked her to keep an ear out for the door as he took a shower and then as an afterthought asked Lily to take his dog out to save on time as she waited for him. Lily's head was spinning at the thought of Tom coming over and after hearing what he thought of her and she could barely contain her excitement. She took James' dog out on his leash and proceeded to walk him quite a way down the street from James' house until the dog finally relieved itself. Lily felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as she heard Tom's motorcycle coming down the street. Tom was known for his crotch rocket and he looked like a sexy kind of hell on wheels when he drove by her and toward James' house. By the time she got back to the house, Tom had already seen James and left. He had just swung by before the party and was going to meet up with James later. Lily felt like she had missed an opportunity to see Tom but at the same time felt relieved that she did not have an awkward moment with him and James as she worried that her strong desire for Tom might be evident. Later that night at a very crowded party, Lily stood next to James as she always did. She tried not to think of Tom but she could not help herself wondering where he was and why he had said something like he did to James. It did nothing but fuel her wanting him and it was much like a fire that was well out of her control. Suddenly Lily saw Tom make his way through the crowd toward them. He was his usual charming self and greeted James with enthusiasm and a soft smile toward Lily. Tom came across as confident in himself and had a way of making people feel comfortable around him, especially women. He was always quite funny and Lily had a soft spot for a witty sense of humor not to mention his stunning eyes. However, what drew her most was a certain vulnerability she detected under the surface of his 'bad boy' exterior. He was a guy's guy but there was a sensitive side to him that seemed to crave meaning in the world and Lily suspected he had some emotional wounds under that confident outer presence and she yearned to know more. Tom was clearly buzzed from the ample beer at the party and was about to light up a joint. He offered a drag to Lily and she laughed and said she had not really smoked pot before. "What!?" Tom said with surprise, "Well, come here and let me show you how it's done." He smiled and put his arm around Lily. Lily had wanted to try pot but had never really had the opportunity or heavy motivation until now. As she felt Tom's hand move down around her shoulders she could not help but feel a sexual high from it. Suddenly everything felt surreal and her emotions were on overload while James looked over nodding and encouraged her to let Tom show her the ropes. Tom explained that it was going to make her want to cough, that she needed to try and hold it in her lungs as long she she could along with some other pointers. Lily was nervous but sat close to Tom with their legs touching. Her nervousness about being so close to him was interpreted as her being nervous about smoking the joint and she was relieved that it was not obvious to anyone else as to the real reason she was slightly shaking. As she and Tom shared the joint she found herself feel a release and was unable to stop laughing. The two of them spent the entire time enjoying the joint doing little more than laughing and talking and laughing some more. A girl at the party came over to Tom and told him that she needed to talk with him and he politely excused himself from Lily saying he would talk with her later. Lily wanted so much to give him some indication that she wanted him to stay, but it was not in her to betray her loyalty to James even a little. After a few beers and half a joint Lily found herself dizzy and James suggested she find an empty bedroom to lay down for a bit while he continued to drink and socialize. Lily found a nice dark room and lay on one of the twin beds in it. She closed her eyes and tried to make the spinning stop and began to feel a bit better after about 15 minutes. As she lay there she thought of Tom and wished he would find his way into the room and make her dream a reality. However, she knew that couldn't happen and doubted he really even wanted her when he had so many other girls to choose from so she dismissed what James had said earlier as nothing more than Tom just being nice to James. Suddenly the door opened and it was Sue, a pretty, blonde girl Lily had met through the parties that James had taken her too. Lily and Sue were from two different worlds as Lily was from a wealthy family with a strict and conservative upbringing while Sue came from a lower income family with a single mother that gave Sue quite a bit more freedom than Lily would ever be granted. On occasion Lily would sneak out to a bar in Georgetown with Sue with and the two blondes never had problems getting carded or getting free drinks from bartenders or male patrons. Sue had quite a reputation at school due to her pregnancy at the age of sixteen. She now had a baby at home with her mom and she was still having wild times at parties having fun getting blasted and having sex with a variety of guys. Lily envied Sue's free way of being and wished she could cut loose more from time to time. Certainly, she did not envy having a baby so young, but she wished that she could free herself of her own strict code of ethics that always kept her worrying about doing the right thing and not being too sexually overt without having a committed relationship. Lily and Sue exchanged a greeting and both acknowledged having too much to drink. Sue lay on the other bed and the two of them lay in silence for several minutes. The room quickly filled with light and became dark again as a male walked in and closed the door behind him. It was Tom who was quite drunk and stumbling around in the dark room. Lily held her breath as she watched him in the moonlight that was streaming through the window and felt paralyzed with nervous butterflies as this sexy but clumsy man whom she wanted so much walked toward the beds. Laughing, Tom made his way to Sue and lay next to her. They joked for a moment and then to Lily's surprise they began kissing. Sue and Tom were not an item, but both were available to one another and both were open to it. The sounds of their mouths moving made Lily so envious of Sue that she felt sick with longing. Their building moans and clothing coming off was too much for Lily to take and she quietly left the room. Closing the door behind her, she felt strangely rejected by Tom even though she had nothing to tie him to her and she was committed to James. She decided right then that she had to let go of any foolish fantasy of Tom and recommit herself to James as it was the right thing to do in her mind. James had invited Lily over to watch a movie one Saturday afternoon and afterward they went to his bedroom to have some time alone. Lily sat on the edge of James' bed and noticed that he was somewhat agitated. She asked if he was feeling all right and while he assured her he was, she did not believe him as it was evident something was off. He grew more agitated with her and then pushed her down on the bed and began to kiss her hard and with force. She tried to wiggle free but her 113 lb. frame was no match for his muscular 224 lb. body which was pressing down on her. He continued to kiss her despite her protests and moved his hands over her breasts while pushing his erection against her pelvic bone through her clothes. Lily felt a surge of adrenaline go through her body coursing with fear as it felt like the gentle James she had been dating these last several months had turned from Dr. Jekyll to a terrifying Mr. Hyde. Lily pleaded with James to stop and he ignored her until tears began streaming down her face. Something about her crying made him stop and she pushed him off of her and began putting on her shoes and as she did, she began to get angry. Lily told him that they should not see one another for a while and James became enraged and grabbed a large pocket knife off a bookshelf pushed her back onto the bed and held the knife near her throat. Lily was terrified, she could see the rage in his eyes and there appeared to be nothing left of the man she had given her virginity to on that very same bed. She realized she needed to be soothing and to calm him down so she whispered to him that she loved him and that he did not need to do this. He took his hand and ran it up her thigh with force to her vaginal lips which were clenched shut. He began kissing her with the knife still near her throat and told her that he would do as he wanted. Lily began to tremble and tears rolled down her cheeks again and in the calmest voice she could muster she assured him that he did not have to use a knife and that she loved him. His tight grasp on her melted and he put the knife down and apologized to her. He blamed the steroids again and she assured him that all was well and found a way to gracefully leave 15 minutes later with an excuse of having to help her mom with something. James reluctantly let her go and asked for her reassurance before she left which she gave to him. On the way home the gravity of what happened sunk in and she realized that she could not stay in this relationship but she was terrified to leave. She worried that he would eventually hurt her and wondered what he would do to anyone she would try and date in the future after all the threats to guys that had just been talking to her; would he ever let her go? Lily knew that her greatest hope was that James was going to college in a couple weeks and while it was only three hours away, perhaps he would move on once he got there. The next few weeks were much better for Lily as James had gotten started in college and was busy adapting to his new life at Old Dominion University while she started her senior year of high school. She looked for ways to miss his calls and finally later that fall she decided she could safely end things. James was coming up for a weekend and she could tell him it was over. She decided that she would do it in public at a restaurant so that if he became enraged again she would be able to get help. Lily could barely sleep the night before James came up Friday after his classes and she was so tired and stressed that she told him that she was going to a special dinner with her parents and that he should spend time with friends that night in order to give herself some more time. She assured him that they could spend time together on Saturday. At school on Friday some of Lily's friends noticed how run down she looked and told her that she should come out with them to a party and unwind a bit. Reluctantly Lily agreed and found herself at a packed party with a big cup of beer which she really did not want. Her friends all seemed to disappear once at the party and found their way to more enticing flirtatious conversations with love interests there. Lily found herself walking through a maze of people and wished she had never agreed to go out. As she came down the hallway and into the living room she stopped short when she saw James sitting with friends on one of the living room couches. She knew he had not seen her and managed to go hide in a bathroom wondering how the hell she was going to explain why she was there and deal with this. She asked a girlfriend to walk in front of her as she came down the hall and then would make a break for the door. As she slipped out the front door she cringed as she heard James calling her name behind her. She walked out the front steps frantically looking for any of the friends she came with but they were nowhere in sight in fact no one was outside the front door. James was hot on her heels and as she turned around she could barely find the breath to say hello. James gleefully asked why she was there and hugged her. Lily tried to avoid a confrontation and explained that the dinner with her parents had been canceled as her Mom was under the weather and she ended up there. James seemed so happy to see her but as Lily looked at him and remembered the last few months of extremely angry outbursts and fearful encounters; she felt only the desire to get away from him. James saw the troubled look in her eyes and asked her what was wrong and she explained that she was just tired and they could talk more tomorrow. James did not believe this for a second, he knew Lily was upset about something as she was normally so warm toward him and this aloof behavior caused him to feel worried and alarmed. His anger came out quickly and he demanded she tell him why she was acting so distant from him. Finally she broke and told him that she thought they should break up, that she could no longer deal with his rages and that she wanted it to be over. The next ten minutes were intense with James apologizing and yet pushing her against a car parked in the gravel driveway in front of a house that was set far off a back road. No one was around and the more Lily insisted that she just wanted to leave and they could talk more tomorrow the more enraged James became. Suddenly, the sound of someone walking up the gravel driveway become evident and to Lily's surprise it was Tom. For a moment Tom smiled and greeted Lily and James but one look to their faces and Tom knew that something rather uncomfortable was going on. Lily asked Tom if he could give her a ride home, but James grit his teeth and reassured Tom that all was well and that he could handle this. Tom seemed to hesitate but politely went inside and left James to have privacy with Lily. James stood there insisting that if anyone was going to drive her home it would be him and Lily finally agreed despite being so afraid of James. She put forth her best effort to assure James that they could talk more tomorrow and that she would give him the opportunity to talk things over. Lily was terrified of what James would do at this point and found herself conflicted as to whether she should ever see him again. However, she had fully given herself to him and had loved him so much only months ago that she decided to go to his house one last time and respectfully end things. Once she got there they walked to a park and talked for a long time with Lily giving James the opportunity to say whatever he wished. They walked back to his house and he invited her in but she declined. She carefully explained that while she had heard everything he had to say and would always care about him that she could no longer stay in a relationship with him. Suddenly James became enraged that all his efforts to win her back were in vain. He began screaming at her that she was a whore and was probably sleeping with someone else. Lily denied it and told him that he was insane and needed help but he was relentless and backed her up into a large tree in his front yard screaming at her that she was nothing but a slut who had fucked someone else. Nothing could have been further from the truth as Lily had not even flirted with another guy but as she stared at James who clearly was not going to let her leave, she became enraged herself. She finally let out a screaming response and told him that she had indeed slept with someone else and she was a whore so he should just leave her the fuck alone. James became murderous in his eyes with rage and he punched her so hard in the stomach that Lily fell to the ground unable to breathe. She lay there as he screamed at her pacing back and forth calling her horrible names and vowing to kill the guy that fucked her. Lily had heard about people that do amazing things when they have a surge of adrenaline in their system. A man who lifted a car off a small child, a woman who kicked down a door in a burning house and these stories always left her wondering if she would ever be able to do something physically extraordinary if she was ever in trouble and then she did. With her breath finally back after several minutes of rolling on the ground in agony, Lily rose up and pushed James down to the ground. Like David and Goliath her mind over his matter made him fall to the ground with force and she began kicking him with everything she had as he rolled around in agony. She screamed at him that he would never touch her again and if he tried she would make him sorry. James was simply trying to catch his own breath as Lily stormed off to her car and drove away. A year later, on Lily's birthday a letter was hand delivered to her front door from James and left there for her to find. It was a long, thoughtful letter apologizing for the pain he had caused her and taking responsibility for his actions. He told her that he was off steroids and that she was the love of his life. He only hoped that she would call him someday and give him another chance. Lily never replied to him, she had enough. Not long after that, as Lily sat in her little red Toyota, Celica listening to Guns N' Roses at a stoplight, a handsome young man on his crotch rocket came through the intersection and passed in front of her. It was Tom and as she regarded how sexy he still looked; she envied that motorcycle.
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