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Fears About Sex Toys
What Many People Worry About

Since I wrote the article about Men's Fears of Sex Toys: Will She Like It Better Than Me?, I received a great deal of eMail and phone calls from people who had said that it really helped them to explore such fears.

Fear of sex toys certainly applies to both men and women and I thought it would be a positive thing to explore many of the most common fears that people feel about them. Fear often leads to myths and misconceptions and sex toys are no exception.

Below are just a few of them-

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.


Sex Toys Are Only For Perverts Or Sluts

This myth is simply in no way true. Normal, healthy people use sex toys all the time. If it helps break any misconceptions we have sex toy orders from every type of person imaginable. From accountants, doctors, celebrities, professional athletes, to house wives and college students. Using a sex toy doesn't make you "weird," it helps provide pleasure, creativity and adventure to your sex life.

Your Partner Will Feel Inadequate If You Buy A Sex Toy

The bottom line is that toys only enhance variety and pleasure if you and your lover already have a good sexual connection. Even if you separate out physical sensation with emotional and mental sexual turn ons... the physical sensation of another person and you getting off with each other is hotter than anything else.

For example, my vibrator stimulates my clitoris faster than my husband ever could, but the feeling of his finger rubbing it gets me off for a few reasons. Not only does his finger rub me the right way, it is warm and I get off knowing he is touching me. Most women and men do!

Using Sex Toys Can Be Dangerous

Sex toys are not dangerous if used properly. They can have very positive effect on your sexual health. For example, menopausal women can use dildos to maintain vaginal tone, staving off incontinence and other sexual health issues. Many doctors and therapists recommend sex toys to women who have trouble reaching orgasm. And finally, a healthy relationship with your body is beneficial to your overall health. Using sex toys heightens your awareness of your body and its functions, making you more alert to abnormalities such as bumps, lumps or abrasions.

If You Have A Partner You Don't Need A Sex Toy

Using a sex toy with your lover can actually strengthen your relationship. You need to have a certain amount of closeness to share this intimate new experience together. Using a sex toy can be a good affirmation of that closeness. If your lover doesn't think you need a sex toy to brighten up your sex life, assure him or her that you don't need a sex toy either, you'd just like to try one as a way to have creativity and a positive sexual adventure that you can share together.

Sex Toys Are For Masturbation Only

While sex toys are great for masturbation, many couples enjoy using sex toys together, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your relationship, in fact it is quite the opposite. Again, the kind of couples who are comfortable trying new things together are open-minded, intimate, comfortable and trusting. Using a sex toy together is a good way to reaffirm the strength of your relationship.

Buying Sex Toys Is Embarrassing

We certainly agree that most people do find it embarrassing. That is why we ensure that our company will not send your order in anything but discreet packaging. We will not contact you in regard to anything but your order, and we will never sell your information. You don't have to worry about racy catalogs coming to your house or any other such potential embarrassment. We really care about your feelings and do all we can to protect them.

 

Introducing Toys To Your Relationship

Start Slowly

I don't recommend buying a huge strap on with an anal attachment for double penetration as a first purchase. It is key to start a hesitant or cautious partner with something small and not intimidating. Try a nice simple vibrator to get you started. Once your honey is used to the vibe, you can move up to more adventurous toys. Be aware that a traumatic first time experience may be your last so take it easy at first.

Communicate With You Partner

Make sure that you partner is on board when it comes to the idea of using one, and even after an agreement be sensitive to the fact that this is a new experience. As with any new experience there is often a level of anxiety which means that performance anxiety can also come into play. If this should happen, use lubrication, and integrate the toy after you begin to fool around. Also make sure you have enough time to relax and enjoy your time together this is not a good time to be rushed.

Be Flexible

The toy you or your partner have selected might turn out to be totally wrong for your sexual personalities. That's okay, just put it aside, try something different, be patient. Your partner may agree to play with the toy, and then change his or her mind midway through the experience. That's his or her prerogative. Be patient and try again another time, maybe even with a different toy. It might take awhile, but it will be worth the wait.

Also see our article - Myths About Vibrators



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