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Finding A Good Sex Toy
Quality Vs. Junk

Common concerns about purchasing a sex toy are-

  • "I bought the wrong thing in the past and now I don't know what to get."
  • "I want it but is it worth the cost?"
  • "What will my partner think of me?"

If these thoughts sound familiar, you are not alone. There's nothing like expecting a night of fireworks from a sexy new toy and then finding it to be a disappointment. Sure there are sex toys that are more hype than help, but as often as not, the consumer hasn't done enough of his or her own homework when selecting the toy.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

Looking At Recommendations

You wouldn't buy a car without knowing anything about it, and since you can't test-drive a sex toy, you really want to think about some of this stuff before buying. Here are some basic pointers:

  • If you are just starting out with your first or second sex toy, then you will want to check out our featured sex toys. We post them there as they are what many of our customers enjoy and have gotten great reviews.

  • Look for sex toys not based on what marketing hype or reviews you see, buy them based on what you think would work best for the pleasure you want to achieve. For example, if you enjoy intense rubbing for clitoral stimulation then a high powered clitoral vibrator would work well. If you are getting a dildo, then make sure to figure out the diameter that you would be most comfortable with. See our guides for more information-

    How To Choose A Vibe
    The Factors You Should Consider
    How To Choose A Dildo
    The Factors You Should Consider
    Dildo Size Guide
    How to Determine the Right Size
    How To Choose A Lubricant
    The Factors You Should Consider
    Vibrator Power Ratings
    Determining the Level of Power
    Strap-On Dildos & Harness Guide
    Styles & How to Use Them
    Lubricant Guide
    Let Us Take You On A Tour
    Vibrator Noise Ratings
    Determining the Level of Noise
    How to Measure for a Cockring
    Getting the Right Sized Penis Ring
    How To Clean Sex Toys
    As Well As Where To Hide Them
    Dual Action Vibrators
    How To Choose The Right One
    Erotic Electrostimulation
    How it Works & Why People Do It

  • Many sex toy makers who want us to sell their sex toys, assure us that their toy is fantastic. Yet, it is important that they actually live up to their reputation and deliver what people are expecting them to be, so we certainly don't rush to have every sex toy offered on our site. Rather we focus on what is good and take our time in adding new products to make sure we are providing high quality. That is what you should be looking for where ever you purchase a sex toy.

Find A Company That Will Treat You Well

Let us give you an example of what we mean. A man who was an engineer had ordered a vibrator for his wife from us and it turned out it was defective, so we sent him a replacement a few days later. When that turned out to be defective, he actually emailed us with an outline of why he thought it was malfunctioning. After we spoke, he indicated that he wanted an alternative toy so we sent him two of his alternative preferences for free. We then called the toy manufacturer of the defective vibrator and let them know why their toy was malfunctioning as well as letting them know that we would not carry their toy unless they corrected the problem.

It is important to find a company that will be accountable for returns, defects, shipping problems, and other customer service issues because many companies count on you to be too embarrassed to complain.

Cheap Vs. Quality Manufacturing

The problem is that many toys are made of cheap parts, using cheap International labor. That is why it is somewhat scary to order a sex toy, not just because they may not live up to the hype, but they may simply not work. One of the ways that we have dealt with avoiding cheap and defective toys is by doing business with reputable companies that provide quality products. It is in our interest, not just yours, that we do this as we have a professional reputation to protect. Because we take responsibility for anything that is defective we also don't want to have situations where customers are calling to get replacements for defective products because it just does not make good business sense to put our customers or our company in that situation. Below are some more tips on finding a quality product and retailer-

  • Be a savvy consumer once you've narrowed down what you're looking for because the adult novelty industry has traditionally exploited consumer fears and embarrassment around sex toys. Some adult stores sell low quality merchandise at inflated prices. I've heard from more than one person who bought a fifty dollar toy only to have it break down in three days from other companies.

  • For example, Vibratex, the original makers of the Rabbit Pearl (seen on HBO show Sex In The City) suddenly had many companies making cheap knockoffs of their product. One European company had to recall its wannabes when they found that the metal rod that rotates the shaft could pierce through the vibrators exterior! Making sure that you get safe sex toys is important, not just for your safety but also piece of mind.
  • If the sales hype on a toy sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Once in awhile something really exciting comes along that's worthy of the praise. There's usually a groundswell of interest, so try to find reviews if you can and shop at places you trust.

  • Visit web sites that post customer feedback and provide information, ask friends about their favorites, and look for bestsellers. Also, make sure the company provides contact information beyond a phone number or email address. You are also going to want to see a physical address to make sure they are legitimate.

  • Since sex toys are used on intimate parts you will want to make sure any sex toy you use is a high quality product and as chemical free as possible. Some of the high quality, nontoxic sex toy brands that you can trust are shown to the right just name a few, all of which we carry on our site.

See the Top Sex Toy Lines

Potential Financial Disappointment

If you're hesitant to experiment with toys because of the money or the unknown factor, here's a little perspective: think of a disappointing sex toy experience as somewhat akin to a disappointing meal out. You might pay $60 at a fancy restaurant for a meal that didn't thrill you, but it wouldn't stop you from trying another new restaurant.

When you do stumble upon a great restaurant, you've just improved the quality of your life. Accept the fact that not all sex toy experiences will be mind blowing ones, but that the more you explore, the more likely you are to end up with the orgasmic equivalent of culinary delight. Also, make sure you are doing business with a reputable company with a knowledgeable sales staff. You should have no problem asking tough questions and getting accurate answers.

Things to be careful of-

  • Beware of sales people who are more interested in making a sale than providing something that works with your needs and budget.
  • Look out for the sales representative that tries to tell you that the only way to get a discount is to purchase something right now. If they really respect your business, they will offer it to you when you are ready to make your purchase.
  • Avoid offers that sound too good to be true. Often times there is a catch to that incredible offer they are making you. Remember, all businesses must make a profit to survive and when they start luring you in with offers that seem exaggerated (beyond typical offers such as low price guarantees, free shipping, free sample products, reduced prices) and everything seems too peachy keen... it probably is.
  • Beware of wholesale web sites for the general public. There are some companies that sell wholesale to non-business owners. This is forbidden by the manufacturers that supply the products they sell and they are at risk of not being able to carry such products once the manufacturer discovers this violation. These extremely low priced products may be stolen or refurbished (used sex toys). We suggest you use extreme caution when purchasing products that are well below the manufacturers suggested retail price (MSRP). For more on this see our helpful article: Avoiding Sex Toy Scams.
  • Beware of sites that claim the best customer reviews but don't allow YOU to submit a review. A good web site will provide you with a way to submit your review and listen to your concerns.
  • Sex toy shops should offer you a no hassle replacement of a defective product within 30 days.
  • Beware of sex toys shops that allow you to return a used sex toy when it is not defective. Believe it or not there are sex toy companies that will resell that product. Despite health risks and how absolutely unethical it is, it is a very real possibility and happens all the time.

Getting What You Pay For

Be aware that the sex toys that are made from nontoxic materials often cost more because the materials they use to be constructed from are more expensive to the manufacturer. For example, higher grade silicones that are 100% medical grade are more expensive than silicone mixed with additives. Just because something is cheaper does not ensure you are getting more for your money and here is why-

  • Cheaper toys are made with lower quality parts and mechanical difficulties often occur. Your sex toy could last for a very short time period as compared to the higher end sex toys that are made with stronger, more durable parts. Even if you have a tight budget, there are still many great sex toys and romantic gifts from reputable companies from which to choose.
  • Sex toys that are put in porous parts of your body should be made of nontoxic materials to prevent possible health risks.
  • Investing in separator bags or storage bags that have antibacterial qualities and allow you to keep the products you have purchased separate from one another prevent the toys from having chemical reactions with one another. Even nontoxic products can cause harm to one another if they touch. Some people are often shocked when they put two sex toys in storage together only to find they have melted together when they go to pull them out.

Sex Toys & Partners

If you're buying a toy for partner play, it helps to keep this adage in mind: "you can't please all the people all the time". What works for you might not work for your partner, so if you're expecting the toy to deliver amazing simultaneous mutual orgasms, there's a good chance you'll be disappointed. Keep your expectations realistic and communicate with your partner on what they prefer rather than guessing. If you are getting a first-time sex toy then err on the side of mild rather than wild. Getting something like a body massager that can also be used on the genitals, nipples and have attachments added is always a good place to start as no one hates a good body massage.

Finally, make sure your partner is a willing participant, otherwise you run the risk of making them feel inadequate or insecure if you whip out a new toy in the heat of passion. Also, make sure to keep a sense of humor, which comes in handy when you're strapping on a purple dildo or a cock ring that looks like a bunny. Whether or not the toys can live up to your expectations, sharing sex toys with partners is a great way to communicate about your sexual needs and to explore new erotic adventures.

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