Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

Ex Sex
What You Wished Your Ex-Lover Had Known

We asked some of our customers some of the things they wished former lovers had known about pleasing them sexually and here is what they said-

Communication-

My old girlfriend used to act like sex was all about me and focused on what she could do to please me. I know, great right? Nope, because she would never show or share with me what she liked or enjoyed. I would ask her and she would just say everything was fine and I did not need to change a thing. Then a year after we had been dating during an argument she confessed that she had never had an orgasm and had been faking it the whole time. What a blow! I was really upset that she had not told me and let me help her. She kept her guard up in our relationship and then later blamed me for not figuring it out on my own without any regard for her own personal responsibility to communicate in our relationship. She is off tormenting some other guy now and I have a girl that loves to tell me just how she likes it. The sex is hot and our relationship just keep getting hotter.

- Mike

My ex-husband acted like sex with me was supposed to be pure and innocent and then would run off to look at wild porn on the Internet. It made me feel like he could not live out some of his more wild sexual fantasies with me. It was like he bought into the whole Madonna / Whore complex and I was the Madonna... except, I too had a wild side and instead of us sharing that we ended up living separate lives.

- Rhonda

This guy I dated was so consumed with getting me to orgasm that I felt that it was an obsession. It made me feel alone and without an emotional connection with him. He treated sex as if it were the goal, whereas, it was the intimacy I craved. I really do not need a man for great orgasm with all the great sex toys these days. What I do need is to feel connected during sex to make it great and if a guy focuses all on technique, it gets to be old very fast.

- Linda

Fear of Sex Toys -

My ex-boyfriend was so threatened by my vibrator that it ruined our relationship. My little, innocent vibrator was something that I wanted to use on occasion during lovemaking so that I could have the best of both worlds. His insecurities overtook being a giving lover and instead of celebrating with me something that made me feel good, he would say derogatory things about my desire to use it. Of course he was caught up in a lot of other insecurities too and we ended up breaking up. I have a lover that actually buys cool sex toys for me now and for himself and we have so much fun together!

- Janine

Kissing-

Most of my ex-lovers were pretty good. However, there were a few that really could have used some help in the kissing department. At least at first. It seemed like if I spent enough time with them they would eventually start kissing me back the way I was kissing them and I would not have to say anything. However, there were some dates remained 1st dates because the kiss goodnight was just awkward and weird. The main thing I would stress, is to be slow, soft and sensual. Leave the forceful tongue jerking, crazy lip biting and seeing how far you can get your tongue down their throat for much later in a relationship when you want to try new things and when your lover can say comfortably to you whether they like it or not.

- Kelli

I had a date with a guy that when he kissed me would engulf my whole mouth and chin and slobber all over me. Gross!

- Liza

There was this girl that I dated that would think it fun to kiss while eating or chewing gum. It just grossed me out man.

- Justin

My ex used to think that it was sexy to rotate her tongue in a circle to French kiss. Um, no thanks!

- Kevin

Fellatio-

I had this one girl who thought she would show off her oral sex skills by using her teeth! OWWWWW! Talk about a boner killer. She acted surprised when I told her to stop. What was she thinking that sharp teeth on tender penis skin was going to be super awesome?

- Jake

I hate it when a girl acts like semen is the most disgusting thing in the world and refuses to swallow. Nothing like a girl running into the bathroom to spit it out. Not hot. It is so much better when she allows you to fully climax while still in her mouth and finds it sexual that you are.

- Brian

Clitoral Stimulation-

I had a lover who thought that he would be able to get me off with just sexual intercourse. While gspot stimulation feels good, I just do not have orgasms without clitoral stimulation. It is so hard to bring this up without feeling like you are insulting your lover or him thinking there is something wrong with you. I have news for men out there, many women have to fake orgasms because there is just not as much pleasure without clitoral stimulation. I introduced this sex toy that provides clitoral stimulation while my boyfriend wears it now and we do not have those problems any more.

- Candice

Anal Sex-

Believe it or not, I actually like anal sex, but my boyfriend just could not get it through his head that he had to be careful not to rub against my VA-jay-jay after, because I kept getting UTI's (Urinary Tract Infections) that hurt really bad and made me have to see my doctor for antibiotics a lot.

- Carla

I hate it when guys keep pressuring for anal sex if you do not want to. Tried it and did not enjoy it and I feel like that should be the end of the discussion if it is something that I do not want to do. I do kegel exercises, keep fit, and I do oral and see no reason why that should be insufficient.

- Rachel

Prostate Massage -

My ex-husband refused to try prostate massage... I mean would not even consider it. My current husband was open, tried it and loves it. We have the best sex life because we are open and creative. A word to men... loosen up, literally.

- Sara

Porn Is Not Sex Education-

I had an ex-boyfriend who seemed like he had watched porn to learn how to have sex. First of all, lightly lapping at the clitoris is not a great technique. One of the best articles on oral sex on women is clear on this point. Also, give us a kiss afterward, and let us know it was about us and not getting laid.

- Hailey

What About You?

Do you have any thoughts on what you wished an Ex-lover had when you were together. Let us know and we can publish them. Simply send us an email entitled 'For The HW Newsletter' and send it to us.

Ask Lisa
Relationship & Sex Advice

Below you will find a question from one of our web site visitors and a reply from our founder Lisa Lawless. By submitting a question that we have not covered on our web site, everyone can benefit from having the information made available. With hundreds of eMails coming in every day it is not possible for Lisa to reply to all questions. However, if yours is selected we will contact you with the reply and post it on our web site while maintaining your anonymity.

To submit your questions to our founder Lisa eMail us.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
HolisticWisdom.com Founder

This is a wonderful question as many men think that gspot stimulation is the key to helping a woman achieve an orgasm and in actuality, it is just a part of the big picture. As you may already know, we all start off in the womb as female. When a Y chromosome is added a male is developed... so essentially we all have the same equipment to start and it gets moved around and developed differently.

What is the clitoris? It pretty much the same thing as the head of a man's penis. That means that if a man were to be sexually stimulated without stimulating the head of his penis, he may find it less satisfying. The same thing applies to a woman. Don't forget our love button during sexual activity as it is pretty important when it comes to achieving orgasm and why we love vibrators that stimulate them so easily and effectively.

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I thought about seeing him all day. After hours of torturing myself with responsibilities and errands I finally went home and ran a tub of hot bath water. As I squirted the Oil of Olay "Quench" body wash in the water, I laughed as I thought of my thirst for his cock being quenched by his cum squirting on my tongue. I undressed and looked in the mirror and noticed how pink my nipples were and how my h-cup tits looked swollen and tighter.

I have lost some weight, and hope that when I lose more that my boobs don't get smaller. I am always self- conscious seeing myself naked but I was so horny that I assured myself that at least I was proportionate and still had a womanly shape, and I am only as sexy as I feel.

Listening to my lust instead of my head, I lowered myself into the hot water. I flinched a little as my swollen clit was the first part of me to touch the hot, wet water. I rubbed the soapy bubbles all over me and the aroma reminded me of the same "Quench" lotion I wore almost every time I saw him.

As I rubbed the slick sweet soap on my breasts I imagined he was fucking my tits with his hard wide cock. I pinched my nipples as I washed them and after they were rinsed, I had the sudden urge to lick my hard pink nipple and see what it tasted like. It wasn't difficult to get to; I cupped my hand around part of my breast and felt the weight and the soft giggly flesh and stuck out my tongue.

The little bumpy brown area felt really good on my tongue. I swirled it around and flicked my erect nipple and tugged at it slightly with a suck. I stopped there to save the sucking for him. He does it soooo good anyway�. I squirted some of the white creamy body wash on the top of my pussy next. It felt so good to finally touch it. The hair on the top feels so good on my fingers when it's all soapy.

My fingers slid around easily on my pussy lips because they are shaved smooth and slick. My clit was sticking out above my full and plump pussy lips and my fingers touched it with every stroke I made with my soapy hand. Whew, I had to stop, but not before I stuck my finger inside the opening. I wanted to be sure it was fresh and clean. When I raised my hand out of the water I was glad to see that the water hadn't washed the juice off my finger. Mmm, it tasted sweet and fresh and made me want to taste his cum. It was thicker and always hot and always a lot of it.

Next, I shaved my legs and soaped up my feet, and slid my fingers between my toes. I scrubbed my feet with the soft brush and was imaging how my feet would look in those sandals he likes with my painted toenails.

Well, time was getting away from me. I hadn't even called him to tell him I was coming for sure. I rinsed off in cold water, and dried off as quickly as I could. I was in such a hurry to get over there, I didn't even fix my hair, I just took out the clip and let my hair fall down on my shoulders, the hot steam made soft brown curls so I just tossed it around with my fingers and let it go. I thought of how it felt when he held my long hair as I sucked his cock I never even told him that I secretly had wished for someone to do that he just did it one day. Not too hard but not to easy either.

I slipped on my hose and grabbed my heels and rushed out the door feeling sexy and so horny and anticipating the evening. On the way over I put on some lip-gloss but my cheeks were flushed red so I didn't need any blush. I looked down at my cleavage and noticed that my chest and the tops of my tits were red too. I knew then that he would be able to see right away how horny I was. When I called him I could tell he wasn't really expecting me to come, and he said he would get in the shower. I thought maybe he might leave the door unlocked and I could go in and surprise him in the shower.

I was surprised to find him still working, he looked up with those beautiful blue eyes and smiled. It was nice to just go immediately to him and feel his body with a warm hug. He said he was hot and sweaty and I replied that I didn't care, that's the way I liked it. He is always sexy, even when he's working. Once I saw him working in a one- piece blue uniform/suit for painting or something and was so turned on. I never knew I would be. I just wanted to unzip it and expose his chest and see his big cock sticking out of the opening in the cloth.

My mouth watered that day thinking of it; hard but with its soft meaty head. I pictured him holding it with his hand sliding up and down his cock as he rubs it on my face and on my lips. I long for the plump, purplish head to pass my lips. When it does I suck passionately on the tip as if the sweet cum inside was a drop of rain in a drought.

Again today He looks so sexy and fit. He always fills out everything nicely, not too skinny and not too big, just right. He has just the right amount of muscle and softness, too. Lean and tone but big enough to make you feel like somebody's got you when they hold you. He takes care of himself and always looks distinguished and smooth; like a man who knows what he wants. His grey hair just sets off anything he wears, and makes the blue in his eyes stand out even more. His hair feels so nice too, thick and short and soft. I love to run my fingers through it.

I am breathing deeper and feeling the fever that's burning all over me as we walk up the steps and he is following closely behind me. I cant wait to have him all to myself, I am wondering if I will hold back again or if I will just let go and do all the things I want to do, completely and wildly uninhibited.

This section is for sexual current events and news; allowing our web site visitors to hear sex news around the world.

Haylie Hocking, 27 canceled her church wedding after discovering her fiancée, 30-year-old fitness fanatic Jason Brake, is a secret porn star and had made adult films just weeks before the big day. How was this discovered you may wonder? A friend of Haylie's who was organizing her bachelorette party searched online for a male stripper and spotted Jason with a woman in a porn movie.

You'd better eat your blueberries and drink your green tea because men who don't get enough antioxidants can have problems with infertility. A new study in the journal Fertility and Sterility discovered that men who ate antioxidant-rich fruits and vegetables have better rates of sperm movement, ejaculate volume, and sperm concentration than those who ate diets heavy in meat and full-fat dairy foods.

CNBC's Melissa Lee will be reporting on the adult entertainment industry from a business angle on July 15, 2009. The documentary Porn: Business of Pleasure is scheduled to run at 9pm EST, repeating at 10pm and 1am.

It has been said that those who are easygoing in real life tend be dominant in the bedroom, and those who are more socially dominant like to be submissive. You have most likely heard of the dominatrixes with corporate giants on all fours begging for mercy. But is it true? In a new study, researchers have shown that it is with results showing that men in general enjoy being dominated in many of the fantasies, however, the more socially dominant the man, the more he preferred it. The same applied to women.

Typically, men take 4 minutes from the point of contact until ejaculation, whereas women usually take up to 11 minutes to reach orgasm, if if they are able to at all. Among couples, 75% of men report that they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26% of the women. However, women's male partners reported that they believed their female partners had orgasms 45% of the time. Seems a lot of faking maybe misleading.

If you thought it was not possible, it is. Justin and Jordan Washington came from their mother's womb 7 minutes apart, but they have different fathers. Their mother, Mia had cheated on her partner and conceived a child with another man on the same day. That makes the boys half-brothers rather than real twins.

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