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Actress, playwright, and political activist Eve Ensler was talking with a friend who was going through menopause in the 1990s when she was first struck by the way women spoke about their bodies. She believed it was a reflection of how they felt about themselves and their gender.

In turn, Eve was inspired to write a series of essays on women, their bodies, and the language they used to communicate about themselves which she adapted into a performance piece she called The Vagina Monologues.

Opening at a tiny off-off-Broadway theater, The Vagina Monologues soon became a hit in New York City which spread around the world, becoming an international phenomenon. Eve Ensler re-creates her original performance of The Vagina Monologues in this video adaptation, which was produced for the premium cable network HBO. Moving, and fun!

Lisa,

Your Web site is really interesting!!! I thought I've seen everything... as a man I'm still in a state of shock!... Questions... Have women kept this a secret.... Can women suppress ejaculation without affecting their orgasms... I've had sex with many women that have had powerful orgasms and they never mentioned the need to ejaculate fluid. Why has it taken so long for this to be exposed...

Thanks,

Scott

Hi Scott,

Thank you for your inquiry. Yes, women can still orgasm without ejaculating and it can still be powerful. Ejaculation adds to the feeling of release which makes it unique and an added bonus to an orgasm.

Women have been AFRAID to discuss ejaculation for several reasons. The two most common are-

1) Many still confuse it with stress incontinence and do not realize that it is not
    urine. I review this in more detail in our female ejaculation section.

2) Women are often either unsure of what it is or think that they just peed, they
    tend not to want to talk about this experience with anyone out of shame
    of embarrassment.

You mention that your female partners have not mentioned a need to urinate... this is because the cues that the woman feels can often be confused with feeling like the need to urinate because the Skenes glands fill up and put pressure on the urethra similar to the feeling of the bladder filling and putting pressure on the urethra. Most women will tell you that they do often feel a need to urinate when the are highly aroused and is one of the most common "cues" a woman tends to ignore when it comes to ejaculating.

Also, you asked me in another eMail you sent if pregnancy has anything to do with female ejaculation and the answer to that is no. Pregnancy has nothing to do with female ejaculation. However, pregnancy can cause stress incontinence and thus is why women often think the two are related.

Female ejaculation has been known about for a long time... to the days of Socrates and I am sure well before. It has been the repression of women's sexuality and the embarrassment and shame that has been associated with openly discussing it that has kept it so elusive. A few sexual health pioneers risked social rejection and in some cases professional rejection just for publicly acknowledging it. I still get OBGYNs that are embarrassed to talk about it with me and do not want to associate with it out of fear of being ostracized for educating women about a topic that is highly associated with porn. Isn't that crazy in this day and age?

Yet, many of the OBGYNs and other professionals that do embrace the teaching of female ejaculation, have a hard time with talking too publicly about it as there is still a stigma to the subject. Many doctors fear that their educational discussions on sexual issues may be misconstrued as sexually inappropriate behavior. For example, you have a woman who is asking about how to achieve an orgasm because she has not been able to have one. The OBGYN suggests some techniques and mentions that she may explore using a vibrator to help her accomplish this goal. The woman has been taught by her conservative family that sex toys are sinful and then in turn is outraged that her OBGYN has even suggested such a thing. She accuses the doctor of sexual misconduct because she then makes it out to be that the doctor was suggesting things that are inappropriate in her mind. Yes, I know it is a terribly ridiculous thing, but don't think that kind of thing does not happen because it has and does. Sad, but true.

I will never forget my first interview with an OBGYN for my book The Art of Female Ejaculation. She said that she had not much education on sexual techniques, female ejaculation or other such things outside of sexual reproduction in the curriculum for her degree. Pathetic that we are in the year 2005 and still have that kind of ignorance going on. She was so embarrassed about professional, sexual discussion that she was blushing and kept trying to refer me to a sex educator in the area. Did she know of one... no, but said that I probably would do better to find someone like that to talk to about sexual issues for women. It was in that interview that I realized that I had to educate women and their partners on sexuality because who else would? It seems that in the last decade there are many more of us out there that have evolved from people like Dr. Ruth, but we are still pretty scarce.

Since then, I have found fellow sex educators like myself that provide sexual information at great risk personally and professionally. I can assure you that if some of the Psychiatrists, Social Workers and Therapists that I used to work with in Psychiatric hospitals, Group Homes for the Sexually Abused and even Rape Crisis knew what I was doing now, they world be appalled. I remember being scolded in my early days as a Therapist by my supervisor when I worked at the Group Home For Sexually Abused Girls when one of my 16 year old patients asked me if masturbation was normal and I told her it was normal. I told her that it was nothing to be ashamed about and a healthy way to explore her own body sexually so that she could learn more about herself on a sexual level.

Just for that comment, I was confronted in a staff meeting with hostile reactions from the rest of the staff and told that kind of thing was not to be discussed with patients. I asked why we would not teach sexually abused girls about healthy sexuality... of all the places in the world, it seemed that was where it was need most! I ended up quitting my job there after 6 months of ridicule that I endured for that incident. I left with a clear understanding that people are still highly conflicted, confused and ashamed of their sexuality. I mean just look at our Sex In The News Section, or the Joanne Webb story where narcotics officers arrested her for selling sex toys and educating people about them. If you think a vibrator is taboo, you can imagine what female ejaculation is considered! That is right, obscene! Why a woman's sexuality is so threatening is still such an odd concept to me. I mean, I understand the insane reasoning people give for that kind of thinking, but I still think it is insane.

With conservatives in power right now, it is a scary world for a sex educator like me. Most of what I teach and sell is considered obscene by the conservative right and it may mean that one day I lose my company, go bankrupt or even go to jail for what I do. This is not to mention that some friends and family won't speak to me or my husband because while most of them are fine with sexuality in general and even sometimes watch adult entertainment, they don't want to have someone they associate with actually involved in it. Oddly, the friends who won't associate with me blame my husband for me doing what I do for a living, and his family members who won't speak to him, blame me. It really is quite childish. The majority of family members that do still talk to my husband and me never ask how our company is doing and it is pretty much ignored like an awkward elephant in the room.

What is really funny to me is that I have the most calm, normal life you can imagine. Yes, the content of what I work with can certainly be considered racy, but just like any professional woman with a child, husband and dog I spend my day working, taking my child to school, walking the dog and having a loving, monogamous relationship with my hubby. People often think that we must have orgies at the house with nude people all around us, and I have to laugh because my day is spent mostly on the phone and computer making business deals, addressing customer needs and doing things like writing and paying bills. Terribly exciting stuff! We don't drink, do drugs and we don't even go out much. An exciting night for us is spent renting a movie from Blockbuster and having some popcorn. I know, pretty sedate, but true.

Bottom line is that my husband and I feel very strongly that people should have resources to learn about their sexuality in an empowered manner. We have sacrificed a lot to do it, but we are passionate about what we do and feel strongly that we are doing the right thing. It is great to get one eMail and phone call after another from people like yourself that are learning about it for the first time and are amazed that more people aren't aware of the facts regarding it.

Thanks for your question, I hope this gives you an inside glimpse into the world of female ejaculation education.

Best,

Lisa

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Hi Lisa,

I and my man would like to thank you for the excellent information you provide on your web site and if it was not for my man finding it I would not be writing this e-mail to you now. He suggested that we look at your web site having seen FE on movies and wondered if it was possible to do this as it turned him on so much. I, of course, always wanting to turn my man on in anyway that pleases him and gives me pleasure in the process decided to buy your book and dvd on The Art of Female Ejaculation.

I must confess that I have always been inhibited sexually until I met my man who is the only man I have met who will talk about sex and wants to know how I feel and what I like best. I had never masturbated until I met him and he gave me a lot of encouragement and confidence in my own sexuality. I actually feel like a woman instead of a sex object for the first time in my life.

Having watched your video and read most of the book I decided to give it a try. Just like you I lit the candles and played soft music and laid down in the bath. I wanted to be able to ejaculate but felt I needed to do it on my own first so that I knew the technique and if it was possible for me to do it. My first attempt was pretty poor but I did have a trickle. I decided that the bath was not a very comfortable position to be in so I tried sitting up against the edge of the bed which gave more of a downward thrust when it came to the moment that you push down through the electrical shock that goes through your body just before ejaculation. My man was extremely excited when I text him to say that I had done it!

The most nerve racking time was when he was with me and I was worried that I would not be able to do it for him but as always he was patient and encouraging and he couldn’t believe it for a moment when I eventually relaxed and it happened. We have gone on since then to ecstatic pleasure without dildos and vibes and mastered the technique manually. Of course there is the choice of whether you squirt or whether you don’t but either way it is orgasmic.

I only have one question. Is there a technique to mastering the flow? Mine are like oil well gushers and short lived and I just wonder if there is a way of controlling them more?

Oh by the way I am now 50. Never too old to learn but I only wish that I had met my man and found your web site 20 years ago!!

Thank you once again from us.

L & R

The way to impact flow is just how you would with urine flow, which is through Kegel exercise. As you may already know, female ejaculation is not reached through using the Kegel muscles, but it can aid in how the flow comes out much like when you have a garden hose and you squeeze it.

As to how much comes out... that is more a factor of hydration, and length of time it took to build up the fluid during sexual arousal. Also, many women have more fluid come out when they have consumed alcohol as they are relaxed and the body is naturally inclined to flush out all body fluids in order to detox from the alcohol.

Dear Lisa,

I just want to take a moment and tell you how much you have help my wife and I on sex and all that there is to enjoy about it. We live in a small town in Northern KY, and there just is not a lot of info. around here in the form of books and video' stores to buy movies. We both go to church and are not into the porno scene... but your site has the most taste and respect about the human body. You show a lot of class and respect on your web site to those of us that are not into porno, and I thank you for that. It is nice to know that there is someone out their that is willing to help couples with sexual issues and not try to stuff porno down their throat at the same time. You truly are the best.

Thanks again for all your help.

In good 'ol Marietta, Georgia two adult stores were shut down in 2003. The city's decision to revoke the stores' business licenses had survived three appeals, including one in the Georgia Supreme Court whcih finally said they would not hear the case.

Despite the fact that sexually explicit material is protected by the First Amendment, Georgia law prohibits the sale of sex toys. Apparently, that is a pretty flimsy Amendment these days when it comes to the Conservative Right.

Attorney Alan Begner, who represents adult stores across the state, said that law has been selectively enforced. "For some reason, Marietta decided to go to war," Begner said. "Sex toys are illegal in Georgia but are sold widely because it's a stupid law and nobody cares." If you think about it, why should anyone care if you like having some good vibrations for your afternoon delight? Apparently the good 'ol southern folk of Marietta, Georgia do.

The city has an 11-page adult-entertainment ordinance under which sex shops can operate, but within strict guidelines. Begner, who claimed the law made Marietta look "foolish." We agree with that statement!

Praying For The Smut Peddler

I am not sure if the issue will ever be resolved when it comes to conflicts around adult businesses being available to the public and those who find that immoral. My heart goes out to those with a brick and mortar store because I certainly would not want to deal with the red tape and legal issues they do.

Yet again, another adult store is the issue of controversy. This time it is in Kentucky for Jeree Mills, owner of a store called Dreamworld that sells pornographic magazines, movies and novelties.

When you hear the word novelties it really means sex toys. The reason everyone is calling them that these days is because apparently many local governments want adult businesses to lie and say that the cool vibrator you want is not a sex toy but is really a novelty and couldn't possibly be used to stimulate your genitals... why that would be obscene!

Yes, you heard me right, obscene. Jeree Mills has pleaded guilty to distributing obscene material (a misdemeanor) and received the maximum fine of $250 and 90 days in jail. Jeree said she will remain in business, but as part of the plea, she agreed to close the store between 2 a.m. and 2 p.m. Sunday, meaning it won't be open during morning church services because apparently they think that God is disgusted with sexuality and nudity. Seems odd considering they also believe he is responsible for creating it.

Church groups said they feared the store would feed addiction to pornography because apparently Christian folk there do have sex, but they don't watch it or enjoy being creative about it by using lubricants, and vibrators.

Mills' attorney, H. Louis Sirkin of Cincinnati, sought to void Kentucky's law against distributing obscene material as unconstitutional, meaning the case could have had wider implications for Kentucky had it gone forward. But Mills said she decided to plead guilty because her attorneys and Dixon worked out an agreement both sides could live with.

Mills said she probably would have been convicted by a local jury but would have won on appeal. Meaning that the local yokels there would not be able to make an intelligent decision based on her constitutional rights. The Constitution (oh yes, apparently we still have one of those thing-er-ma-jigs) protects her right to sell adult material and the right of adults to buy it.

The Rev. Leonard Lester, who pastors a Barbourville church and helped lead opposition to Mills' store, said he was satisfied Mills had been prosecuted as far as the law allows. But he said church members would push legislators to raise the stakes on distributing obscene material, making it a felony. And he said opponents will keep praying for the demise of Dreamworld. "We're not out of the woods yet, because it's still open," he said. So apparently, the good Reverend finds himself with wood.

In Pomona, California, police are visiting exotic dancer's homes to verify if the address provided to the club is the address in which they reside. The operators of the clubs are perplexed at why police and city officials are giving their employees and entertainers so much attention.

Claims being made say that police are not only intimidating the dancers but are violating their First Amendment rights and invading their right to privacy under the state Constitution. It's a form of intimidationand as a result dancers are leaving to work in other cities.

Pomona regulations require managers, doormen, ticket takers, waitresses and other employees as well as dancers to have permits. As part of the process, workers must fill out applications, be fingerprinted, photographed and undergo background checks, said Police Chief James Lewis. Background investigations include checking for any type of criminal history. An investigator then goes to the dancers' homes to make sure they live at the addresses they list on the application.

It is being said that the visits only serve to embarrass and ostracize dancers in front of their families, neighbors and even employers who at times aren't aware of the second jobs the women have or are seeking. Many of them have day jobs and don't want their employers to know they dance at night for a little extra money.

It seems that having a drivers license address match the application should be enough and the antagonistic way that the police are conducting themselves feels like the old scenario in which a child tauntingly points a finger in the face of a sibling saying "I'm not touching you." No, but they are sure making an ass of themselves.

Aussies Approve Of Porn

According to a new poll by the Eros Association, three-quarters of Australians have no objection to the sale of X-rated nonviolent pornographic movies. The survey found that one in seven Australians were in favor of nonviolent, X-rated films being available from licensed adult shops, while 17 per cent of respondents were against their availability. Laws in all Australian states prevent the legal sale of X-rated films, but it is allowed in the ACT and Northern Territory. An Eros spokeswoman said the findings seemed to suggest that people did not want explicit movies banned, just properly regulated by the Government.

The Virginia Supreme Court has removed a state law prohibiting sex between unmarried people. However, there are still laws that need changing such as the anti-sodomy law. Virginia's anti-sodomy law prohibits oral and anal sex even for married couples, but gay-rights activists say the statute is only used to target homosexuals.

Legislators for years have rejected efforts to repeal the law. They left it on the books again last year even after the Texas decision held that such laws are unconstitutional. It's a strong message to legislators that they must repeal Virginia's sodomy law.

The court said that decisions by married or unmarried persons regarding their intimate physical relationship are elements of their personal relationships that are entitled to due process protection. The ruling stemmed from a woman's lawsuit seeking $5 million in damages from a man who infected her with herpes. She claims the man did not inform her that he was infected before they had sex. Richmond Circuit Judge Theodore J. Markow threw out the lawsuit, ruling that the woman was not entitled to damages because she had participated in an illegal act.

The law against fornication had been on the books since the early 1800s but was last enforced against consenting adults in 1847.

Political Web Site Gets Taken Over By Porn

In London, a Conservative party association in the small Welsh town of Delyn is trying to buy back its Web site domain name after it was purchased by pornographers. The Conservative association took on a new Internet address but forgot to renew their ownership of the old name.

The site once promoted the activities of the local Conservative association, offering news about area councilors and useful contact numbers. Now users are presented with offers to buy hard-core movies.

The association is hoping to buy the domain name back and in the meantime all links from Conservative party Web sites to the hard-core Delyn site have been erased.

In Las Vegas, a pornography operation that sent out hundreds of thousands of sexually explicit "spam" eMail messages has been temporarily shut down in the first case of federal spam laws being used against sex marketers.

The Federal Trade Commission said the operation, which runs up to 20 Web sites, did not properly label its eMail with a "SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT:" tag and violated several other aspects of a year-old anti-spam law.

Six businesses and five men have had their assets temporarily frozen by a Las Vegas federal court and are prohibited from sending out any deceptive spam as the case proceeds, the FTC said. Only one of the men charged actually sent out the e-mail but the others are held liable because they hired him.

Unwanted pornography and other forms of spam account for up to 85 percent of all e-mail, up from roughly 55 percent when the CAN-SPAM Act took effect one year ago. The defendants included explicit content in their messages, did not label them properly, did not label them as advertisements and did not provide a way for consumers to stop getting them, all violations of the CAN-SPAM Act.

Some of the messages falsely claimed that access to the Web sites was free, a violation of deceptive-business laws. Those charged could be required to give up the money they made from the operation and prevented from sending out any more deceptive eMail. The FTC does not have the authority to put people in jail or levy fines for a first offense.

Tsunami Relief From Brothel Donations

A German brothel owner is donating part of her takings from clients. "It's not every day you can make a charitable gesture by going to a brothel but owner Mercedes Mueller wanted to do something to help. Mueller who owns the Happy FKK Club in the western city of Dortmund, said clients, prostitutes and the public had all responded with great enthusiasm to her gesture, and that about 1,300 euros ($1,700) had been raised so far. "We have as much of a right to raise money as any other business," she said. "We all have a heart too. I hope it will serve as an example to others."

In one Australian state, politicians have been asked to lend a hand and become sperm donors to help increase supplies at an in-vitro fertilization clinic. The Monash IVF clinic has written to 25 parliamentarians aged under 45 in Victoria state asking them to set an example for the rest of the male population by becoming sperm donors. "We hope that if some of the leading role models within our community become donors, others may follow suit," the Monash letter said.

Women Impregnated With Wrong Sperm Delivers

Laura Howard in Connecticut was artificially inseminated with the wrong sperm and has just given birth to a healthy baby boy. Last year she sued an infertility clinic in Bridgeport, Connecticut, after her doctor informed her that she had mistakenly been injected with sperm from a man who is not her fiancé. While she's happy to have her baby, this error has made her life much more complicated in terms of her relationship with her fiancé and legal issues.

Columbia House Said Planning Adult Video Club

Executives from the famous “12 for a penny” Columbia House record and movie club were prowling the Adult Entertainment Expo last week... turns out they are preparing to launch their own Adult video club with Playboy Entertainment by January’s end called Hush.

I think the name is actually quite telling that the world wants porn but is still not ready to deal with our natural curiosity of it. I would not be surprised if a porn company that goes into business soon will name their company... Hypocrite.

AFF: Watchdog For Adult Entertainment

Protecting First Amendment rights while at once warding off attacks against Adult entertainment is the goal of the Adult Freedom Foundation (AFF), a newly forming group which vows to be a watchdog for the Adult entertainment world. Owners claim that all too often, the Adult entertainment industry has been the target of misinformation and unfounded criticism and that the AFF will supply accurate and positive information to the public for a change.

In addition to offering media access to legal, scientific, and industry executives to counter what they consider false claims by politicians and pressure groups, the AFF said they will watch especially to stop uninformed groups, right wing and otherwise, from co-mingling child porn with lawful Adult entertainment in bids to outlaw both.

AFF media consultant said this of the new organization… "The AFF is dedicated to fighting child pornography," Pauly said. "While adamantly against child pornography, AFF believes adults should be allowed to enjoy erotic entertainment. And, that the average adult accepts that right for other adults to choose lawful erotic entertainment."

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