~ Prisoner Hires Stripper
~ Looking For Love On A Billboard
~ Mexico's Chocolate Massage For Congress
~ Britain Has Sex Toys Coming Into Vogue
~ Challenging The New Title 18 Regulations
~ HIV Concerns For Porn Industry
~ Using Adult Materials To Track Crime?
~ Nude Supreme Court Jokes Too Much For Wal-Mart
~ Dancers Aren't Nude But Causing An Outrage
~ Sex For Teens On Television
~ Howard Stern Calls The FCC
~ Catherine Zeta-Jones Not Flattered
~ Bumper Stickers Against "Smut"
~ Moms' Aren't Getting Any, But Do They Want It?
~ Rare STD Spreading

Clearance & Sales!
We want to provide you with low cost incentives to give you the best in quality as well as the best in prices! Make sure to stay updated through our newsletter or rechecking this site as we will be discounting items as well as providing clearance opportunities for you to save!

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Hi Lisa,

I feel that I need to break up with my boyfriend, and I wondered if you had any tips on the best way to go about doing something like this?

-Shawna

Hi Shawna,

When you are in a relationship with someone that you are no longer romantically interested in, it's time to be honest with them about how you feel as prolonging it is hurtful to you both. The best way to come across during a break up is to be sensitive to their feelings, calm, polite and to be honest about why you are breaking up with them as well as what you want after you break up (friends or not).

1. Find a time when you can be alone with them in person. If you are worried they may make a scene or be violent, then choose a public spot like a park close by so that people are around to help if you need it, but you are able to speak privately.

2. Try to relax and reassure yourself that you are doing what is right for you and that is always worth doing.

3. Tell them that you feel this relationship needs to end and be clear about what you want... if you want a continued friendship you can discuss those boundaries, if you wish not to see them again, try not to make promises you won't keep.

4. Give them a few moments to let what you are saying sink in. Often this comes as a shock to people even if they had a feeling it was going to happen.

5. If they try to convince you to give them another chance, listen to him/her respectfully as you expect them to listen to you. Listening to them does not mean they are going to change your mind, it means that you are giving them the opportunity to speak about what they want.

6. Tell them that you've made up your mind and that you do not feel that there is any chance for making this work out romantically. Tell them that while you respect their views, that you have thought a lot about this and that there is nothing that would change your mind as you know that this is the right thing for you to do.

7. Tell them what level you would like to keep your relationship (acquaintances, never-see-agains, friends, etc.).

8. Again, listen to their response as it important to respect their feelings about this new level of your relationship.

9. Let them go when they feel it is time to end the conversation. Don't try and make them stay to chat more, or quickly dismiss them, after all you took the time to get into this relationship, you can take the time to respectfully depart it.

10. Be honest. Although breakups can be really hard, honesty serves you in that you do not have to be afraid of standing up for your needs and it helps both of you to learn from your relationship so that you can be better partners to future romantic interests.

I hope these tips help, and that it goes well for you and your soon to be ex.

Hi Lisa,

I know that boys and sometimes men have "wet dreams." Do women have something similar?

-Kate

Hi Kate,

Yes, women have a lot in common with men sexually and wet dreams are no exception. In 1953, Alfred Kinsey, Ph.D. (well known sexuality researcher) found that nearly 40 percent of the 5,628 women he interviewed experienced at least one nocturnal orgasm (orgasms during sleep), or "wet dream," by the time they were forty-five years old.

Kinsey found that women who have orgasms during sleep usually have them several times a year. He defined a female nocturnal orgasm as sexual arousal during sleep that awakens one to perceive the experience of orgasm. He also observed that girls and women who don't have orgasms in their sleep, or who don't know whether or not they've had them, are perfectly normal.

Another study published in the Journal of Sex Research in 1986 found that 85 percent of the women who had experienced nocturnal orgasms had done so by the age of twenty-one... some even before they turned thirteen.

It may be easier for men to identify their wet dreams because of the wet spot from their ejaculate more readily found. Vaginal fluids on the other hand can be a sign of sexual arousal without orgasm and thus it is harder to determine.

I hope that answers your question, thanks for asking it as I feel that more focus on women's sexuality should be addressed.

Best,

Lisa

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General Comments~

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for the newsletter. I am so impressed with the work that you and your company does. Thank you for providing sexually empowering information to so many people. We could certainly use it!

- Karen S.

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Hi Lisa,

I was so depressed about the election results that I almost thought of moving to Canada this week. But here is what I read that changed my mind-
Article For Democrats

And if you want to hear more like minded people, you should listen to this radio station online or on your local AM radio station.

AirAmericaRadio.com

- Katherine

In Olso, Norway a Norwegian prisoner secretly hired an exotic dancer to spice up the prison's monthly culture night. The woman got all her clothes off, to the cheers of the male inmates, before guards could react at the Hof minimum security prison. The show began with an inmate doing a standup comedy routine, as he left the stage, sexy music filled the auditorium, and the woman started dancing and taking her clothes off, by the end of her routine, she was completely naked. The guards then hustled her off to the roar of the inmates' laughter.

Looking For Love On A Billboard

A woman living in Sydney, Austrailia has taken her classified to a whole new level. She is advertising for a husband on a billboard outside a cinema. Helen Zhou, originally from China, said she had tried Internet dating but found men did not want to commit.

"People are happy to date but they don't want any commitment, only temporary relationships," She spent $3,700 on the billboard which has a large headline "HUSBAND WANTED" and a lists of requirements, such as age up to 45, good health, non-smoker and drinker, Caucasian, solid financial background and a good sense of humor. "I'm not fussy," said Zhou, who describes herself on the billboard as a beautiful and intelligent woman seeking a "dream family with a fabulous partner." "I guess I want a traditional sort of person, not really flash -- an old fashioned kind of guy, not one who spends every cent and doesn't worry about tomorrow." So far Zhou's search for love has received few replies.

Mexico's Chocolate Massage For Congress

Deputies in Mexico City have been offered a chance to kick back with a full-body chocolate massage. A deputy stirred up a fuss by offering fellow lawmakers a 10 percent discount on massages at a posh salon even as proposed legislative measures seen as important to the economy gather dust.

Angelica de la Pena, a member for the leftist Party of the Democratic Revolution, sent the lower chamber's 500 members a letter on official notepaper last week urging them to try the salon and recommending anti-depression "chocolate massages."

The massage parlor cited in the letter described the chocolate massage as a full-body treatment involving a massage with cocoa and essential oils that cost 500 pesos ($43) and lasted about 90 minutes.

It was not known if any deputies took up the offer of a discount. President Vicente Fox has been frustrated by Congress' rejection of his economic reform proposals since he came to power in 2000. His National Action Party is in the minority in the lower chamber and analysts see little chance of major legislation being passed before the next presidential election in two years. Earlier this year, a senior Green Party deputy drew attention to Congress' inaction when he spent weeks on a reality TV show instead of attending to legislative matters.

So it seems that extreme behavior in any political party is a reflection of the imbalance that our world holds. Perhaps one day we will work for those things that matter... like the people that politicians are supposed to be working to help!

Britain Has Sex Toys Coming Into Vogue

One of the pillars of the British high street, health and beauty retailer Boots, plans to sex up its image with a new range of products including vibrators and massage oils.

Boots said it was holding discussions with condom-maker Durex. "We can confirm that we are in discussions with Boots to launch a range of pleasure-enhancing products including personal massagers,"

In recent years it has been battling to shake off a stuffy image and maintain market share as supermarkets like Tesco compete on traditional product lines, such as shampoo and medicines. It already stocks part of SSL's "Play" range- a jelly lubricant. "It's not solely vibrators we're discussing," said a Boots spokesman. "The range also includes massage oils.

Britons were the third most likely nationality to use a vibrator out of 41 nations surveyed recently by Durex, with 49 percent of people having tried them, behind Norway with 50 percent and Iceland with 52 percent. "We're a modern retailer and nobody could deny this is a part of modern life," said the Boots spokesman.

So Britain is becoming less prude than America... the tables truly have turned.

The Newly Proposed Title 18 Regulations

What Are Title 18 Regulations?

I figured for those who aren't already aware, there is a law that makes sure that those who use any images of a nude model in any situation must be able to prove they are at least 18 years of age in the U.S. This means they keep triplicate copies of a picture form of I.D. that proves that the model is over 18 years of age.

Obviously this is a good law to have and is certainly there to protect children from becoming involved in inappropriate sexual situations and exploitation.

What Are The Changes Proposed To Them That Are
Designed To Shut Down The Adult Industry?

However now, with the ultra conservative Attorney General John Ashcroft's newly proposed 2257 regulations there are some changes that may make it very difficult for any Adult manufacturer, producer, content provider, or Web site operator to comply with them. Thus, forcing them out of business, in jail or into bankruptcy.

The new regulations basically make it so that anyone who even has a picture of a nude model on anything from a video to a web site must have or know the address where the documentation is proving that the model is over 18 years of age even if they are promoting someone elses product.

Let me put this into perspective... let's say that someone wants to sell a better sex or porn video. They cannot show any nude images from that video to promote it or sell it without having or knowing where the documentation is located to prove that the models in it are over eighteen. That means that the makers of the video would be expected to provide hundreds to thousands of distributors, stores, etc. that carry the video with either copies of pictures I.D.s for all of the models in the film or their addresses on where they are kept.

That in turn means that these adult stores would have to have documentation of all the producers or models in all the videos that they carry. For adult stores that carry thousands of titles, you can imagine that just tracking down all the makers of videos, magazines, etc. would be near impossible.

It also means that a porn star that has chosen to go by an alias to protect their anonymity could not only have their real name made public, but their home address, and even their drivers license number, or social security number! Those who produce videos or run business out of their homes would have to provide their home address! This would certainly would expose the producers and models to identity theft and even stalking.

Even if the proposed regulations are substantially modified in response to protests, the fundamental problems with… 2257 will still exist and create unnecessary significant economic burden on adult businesses thus making them either go out of business or have to raise prices on products.

First violations including filing errors carry a felony conviction good for a maximum five year prison sentence, with two-year minimum/10-year maximum sentences for any subsequent such convictions.

With Ashcroft Retiring Things Will Get Better Right?

No. Ashcroft of the Christian Right, is generally seen from within the adult industry as an extremely puritanical individual who poses a serious danger to freedom of expression as the nation’s top law enforcement official. His replacement may not be much better, of course, but it is hard to imagine how anyone could be much worse.

Some names mentioned as possible appointments to the top cop job include Ashcroft’s former deputy, Larry Thompson, Marc Racicot, who was Bush’s campaign manager, and White House general counsel Alberto Gonzales.

Bottom line, enjoy adult sexual education and entertainment while you can, because we are in for a bumpy ride!

HIV Concerns For Porn Industry

When Darren James was found to be HIV-positive in March 2004 after a trip to Brazil, the Adult industry as a whole realized there was a hole in the testing system that acts as their only defense against HIV.

While Porn Valley subjects performers to PCR-DNA tests at least once every 30 days, performers across the globe don’t enjoy the same safety protections. Adult Dat, a database maintained by A.I.M. (Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation) to keep track of the work history of all performers, is not designed to monitor who has left the country. “Our databases are set up for two reasons: one is for clinical data and the other is in case we need to start a quarantine,” Mitchell said. “We’re already filled to the brim with what we can do right now.”

The unfortunate reality is that little has changed since spring – while the vast majority of the industry has abided by the new protocols, and some companies have adopted even more stringent testing requirements, there is still a gaping hole in the system that protects adult performers.

Apparently the industry as a whole still thinks that one's life is not as important as providing good porn or making a buck. There is still work that needs to be done here, and the porn industry needs to address this for the sake of people's lives.

Using Adult Materials To Track Crime?

So apparently if you enjoy adult materials you are more likely to be a criminal according to police in Cache County Utah. The Sheriff’s Department there has asked deputies to collect data keeping track of adult materials found at crime scenes or during arrests.

Lieutenant Matt Bilideau, while conceding that an overall connection between adult materials and criminal behavior is unproven, says he hopes the program will “help identify the problem, maybe help with data for lawmakers to pass laws to protect those who want to be protected.”

“Like gangs, people who use pornography have associated traits, and we’ll define them so we can link them to crimes and pornography," Bilideau said.

Apparently, he thinks that those of us actually interested in sexual entertainment are pretty much capable of anything criminal. If you ask me, this fundamentalist approach to crime solving should be criminal!

“It’s one thing to collect evidence to crimes, but it’s another thing to link thought and association to crime,” said Dani Eyer, director of the Utah chapter of the ACLU. “If it’s not part of the crime -- not part of the situation they’re investigating -- it’s getting dangerously near the thought control and association control that causes the ACLU concern.”

If we aren't concerned about this kind of law enforcement then we are seriously headed for fear based religion to control us all whether we like it or not.

Nude Supreme Court Jokes Too Much For Wal-Mart

So big, bad Wal-Mart, the company that takes 1.5 jobs away from any community it opens in for every job it provides, has once again shown their prude side and has canceled an order for “America (The Book),” the best seller by Jon Stewart. The book, a mock school text that lampoons American government, contains a photo of nine nude, senior-aged bodies, each with the superimposed head of a U.S. Supreme Court justice.

Cut-outs of the Justices’ robes are provided and a caption asks readers to “restore their dignity by matching each justice with his or her respective robe.” “We were not aware of the image that was in the book (when Wal-Mart ordered it) and we felt the majority of our customers would not be comfortable with it,” said Wal-Mart spokesperson Karen Burk. Apparently Wal-Mart feels it must protect adults who would be purchasing the book (because most 10 year olds aren't into Jon Stewart) from a sense of humor.

I am not sure when the human body became shameful. Apparently we all ought to be ashamed of those things that make us human. Right? I am just wondering why we all don't walk around with sheet over our entire body protecting one another from the mere sight of our ear lobes! Those sexy little lobes of flesh can really be a problem!

Jamie Raab, a publisher for Warner Books said the naked justice joke fits perfectly with the book’s theme and is neither gratuitous nor intentionally sexually explicit. Maybe Wal-Mart needs to loosen up, then maybe they would pay their employees better and stop putting Americans out of work by exploiting cheap foreign labor for their products. Just a thought.

Dancers Aren't Nude But Causing An Outrage

The Showgirls restaurant in Encinitas, California has stirred controversy by opening there recently. The city claims Showgirls is an adult business and ordered the owners to stop all “adult use” operations. The city says the club violated the city’s zoning code by changing the property’s primary use without a major use permit.

However, Showgirls is operating within the Encinitas zoning code and is not an adult business. The dancers are not nude nor are they topless. It seems that people threatened by a hint of sexuality most likely need to embrace that part of themselves the most. Perhaps then they could put their energy into helping the homeless or children in need rather than spending time and money going after legitimate businesses.

Sex For Teens On Prime Time Television

We have plenty of sex on television, just not often the healthy kind. It seems that we tend to have two views about sexuality in the media... show it and make it surface, sleazy and consequence free, or ban it lumping all sex as bad, very, very bad!

Why do we not showing healthy sex in it's true form where we emphasize the positive and negative emotional and social consequences of engaging in sex? Why does it have to be all or nothing? Why are women still either Madonna's or Whores?

A new study by Jennifer Aubrey of the University of Missouri, who watched 84 hours of one-hour prime-time television shows broadcast between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. on ABC, CBS, NBC, the WB, and UPN networks has recently been released.

The characters on the shows that she studied ranged in age from 12 to 22. During these 84 hours, there were 676 scenes containing sexual references: Only five percent dealt with the physical consequences that can come with sex. 32 percent focused on the emotional ramifications of sex. 4 percent contained positive consequences. 60 percent of the time when negative repercussions ensued, the sexual activity was initiated by a female.

It wasn't too long ago that sex on TV came without any consequences at all, including unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease so at least there is some change.

On the one hand, Jennifer acknowledges that adolescents are concerned with the emotional issues in her study. "In many instances, teens are more concerned about the maintenance of their sexual reputations, about uncertainty and confusion about their bodies, and about their emotional relationships with their partners than with the physical dangers of sex," she explained in a news release announcing the study findings.

But she is concerned that when adolescent girls identify with sexually punished characters, their own sense of sexual esteem could be "reduced, and this, in turn, could be disempowering for them when making healthy sexual decisions." The study findings were published in the academic journal Sex Roles.

So when are we going to realize that sexuality in women and men should be addressed for the beauty it holds in the lessons and joys that it brings?

Howard Stern Calls The FCC

Howard is still fighting to have his 1st Amendment rights honored and in the meantime is venting his frustration. Shock Jock Howie made a surprise call to a radio station during an interview of the Federal Communications Commission head, claiming the chairman only got his job because his father is Secretary of State Colin Powell.

Stern called in to KGO-AM radio in San Francisco during a live interview with FCC Chairman Michael Powell. After claiming Powell consistently avoids him, Stern began to question his credentials. ``How did you get your job? It is apparent to most of us in broadcasting that your father got you your job, and you kind of sit there and you're the judge, you're the arbiter, you're the one who tells us what we can and can't say on the air,'' Stern said. ``And yet I really don't even think you're qualified to be the head of the commission.'' Powell, a Republican, was appointed to the commission by President Clinton in 1997 and became chairman when President Bush took office in 2001.

Powell denied Stern's charge and listed his qualifications, saying he is an attorney and was chief of staff of the Justice Department's Antitrust Division. ``I think it's a cheap shot to say just because my father is famous, I don't belong in my position,'' Powell said.

Stern, who battled for years with the FCC and conservative critics over his salacious show's content, is moving his show to Sirius satellite radio when his contract with Infinity Broadcasting Corp. expires in 2006.

Stern's show was dropped by media conglomerate Clear Channel Communications in April after the FCC proposed a $495,000 fine against it for comments made by Stern. Clear Channel reached a record $1.75 million settlement with the FCC in June to settle complaints against Stern and other radio personalities.

``I don't think that, you know, we have made any particular crusade of the 'Howard Stern Show' or you,'' Powell said during the 20-minute interview. ``Yeah, OK, Michael,'' Stern replied. ``That's why I've received the largest fines in history.''

Catherine Zeta-Jones Not Flattered

Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones has sued a Nevada strip club for using a picture of her face to promote itself on the Web as "The Friendliest Topless Cabaret in Reno." Zeta-Jones, who won an Oscar for her role as the murderous cabaret singer Velma Kelly in "Chicago," sued The Spice House after learning that she was featured with "partially nude women engaged in various sexually explicit poses," according to the federal lawsuit filed in Los Angeles.

The suit said Zeta-Jones had never been to The Spice House and did not want her "highly valuable image and persona" to be used as an endorsement. Kent Wallace, owner of The Spice House, said his Web designer got the photo from a "royalty free" Web site without recognizing the face, and claimed he took it down as soon as Zeta-Jones' lawyers contacted him last October. "We are just shocked and bemused by this," Wallace told Reuters on Monday. "She is a big double-D and we are just B cups. She ought to pick on someone her own size." Despite the lawsuit's demand for damages of at least $75,000, Wallace said he and his dancers welcomed the attention and were "having fun with it." One of the club's dancers has renamed herself Catherine "Ta TA" Jones, and Wallace plans to hold a Halloween contest asking patrons to "come dressed as your favorite brunette star."

Bumper Stickers Against "Smut"

Chad Patterson, creative director for Acting Up Theater, is taking donations for bumper stickers protesting the establishment of an adult book store in the Grayling area. "Graying is for Paddling Canoes, Not Peddling Pornography - Keep Grayling Smut Free" (Photo by Dan Sanderson)

So here we are, still in the dark ages when we have everyone up in arms about adult stores. As I research for our sex in the news section every day, I cannot tell you how many adult businesses are having to fight for their right to run a business.

From zoning battles to outright insanity when people burn the stores down, those who dare to be in the adult industry and provide an adult store to the community are constantly battling the community just to stay afloat.

That is why the Internet and home parities have become more popular. Not because people don't want to have adult products, but because we live in a society that says we are not supposed to admit that we do. We are shamed into thinking that we are sinful for embracing our God given sexuality.

From churches to local business owners those who dare to try and open an adult store... beware, we are a hypocritical culture that wants what you have to sell, but will tear you down before we let you do it in public!

Moms' Aren't Getting Any, But Do They Want It?

Parenting magazine recently surveyed more than 1,600 moms about their sex lives and found that forty-three percent of moms describe their sex lives as routine, while 30 percent say they are nonexistent.

When they have an extra hour to themselves at bedtime, most moms said having sex is the last thing on their to-do list. They're more likely to watch TV, read or surf the Net. Spontaneity is the number one thing most moms miss about sex before kids, followed by being able to relax more easily and having a better body image.

Fifty-nine percent of moms said they'd like to have sex at least a few times a week, but only 37 percent do. Thirty-six percent of moms have sex once every few weeks; 27 percent have sex once a month or less. The top three things that put a crimp in moms' sex lives: feeling exhausted; not having enough time; and not being able to shut off their mental to-do lists.

We feel that this study only furthers the point that women who manage families and their career are often neglecting their own needs. It is not that women do not have sexual needs, it that we are asking too much of ourselves in regard to work and family and lack balance in taking better care of ourselves in ways that replenish us such as sex, meditation, exercise rather than with those things that numb us such as television, food, and other coping skills.

Rare STD Spreading

A rare STD is spreading in gay, bisexual men in Europe and may surface in the United States as reported by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC urged doctors and clinics across the nation to be prepared to diagnose and treat gay and bisexual men infected with Lymphogranuloma venereum (LGV).

The Netherlands has uncovered 92 cases of LGV dating back to 2003, where as before it typically saw fewer than five cases per year. Although LGV can be cured by a three-week course of antibiotics, U.S. health officials could be hard pressed to keep a lid on the spread of the infection because it is uncommon in industrialized nations and easily misdiagnosed.

Efforts to combat the disease also are complicated by the tendency of some gay and bisexual men to engage in high-risk sexual behavior. The infection is caused by specific strains of chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease, and usually marked by genital ulcers, swollen lymph glands and flu-like symptoms.

However, most of the men recently infected in the Netherlands had developed gastrointestinal bleeding, inflammation of the rectum and colon and other problems not often associated with the infection or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Other countries that have also reported infections are Belgium, France, Sweden and Britain. It is not known whether America is seeing a similar surge because U.S. doctors are not required to report the infections to local health departments.

Dutch authorities found that a large number of the men recently infected with LGV had participated in sex parties and unprotected anal intercourse in the year before getting sick. Many also were infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

Read more about condoms or STDS.

Meet The Fockers~
Meet The Parents Sequel Shows Liberator Shapes!
In Theaters December 2004

Cast-     Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman,     Blythe Danner, Teri Polo and Barbra Streisand Directed by-    Jay Roach Story by-    Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg Screenplay by-     Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg and     Vince Di Meglio & Tim Rasmussen Based on Characters Created by-     Greg Glienna & Mary Ruth Clarke Produced by-    Jane Rosenthal, Robert De Niro, Jay Roach Executive Producers-     Nancy Tenenbaum, Amy Sayres Universal Pictures/DreamWorks Pictures

The makers and stars behind the runaway hit of 2000,
Meet the Parents, are re-united-and joined by some formidable future in-laws in the the follow-up comedy, Meet the Fockers.

Now that Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack (Robert De Niro) and Dina (Blythe Danner) Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancée, Pam (Teri Polo).

But that's before Pam's parents meet Greg's parents, Bernie and Roz Focker (Hoffman and Streisand). The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together-which all adds up to a disastrously funny time of "getting to know you."

We learn that Bernie Focker (Hoffman) is a retired legal-aid lawyer and Roz Focker (Streisand) is a sex therapist for seniors.

In keeping with Roz Focker's profession as a sex therapist for Seniors, these blue shapes are Liberator Shapes™.

A screen capture from ACCESS HOLLYWOOD (below) shows the blue shapes on the floor. There are two blue ones on the left, and a cone-shaped one just below Barbara's arm on the right of the screen.

Learn More Or Purchase Them Today!