Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
The
eMail below came to me recently and I wanted to share my reply
through an article as I believe this to affect many couples
and I hope to offer some assistance to those it does. Truly
a challenging situation if left unresolved and for the gentleman
who wrote me about it; potentially devastating to both he and
his wife.
I have come
to a crossroad in my life, and I thought that you might be able
to help me with a decision I have to make. I've been married
for six years, and I have no actual sexual relationship with
my wife.
After
a quick search for information on your web site, I think you
would describe my wife as suffering from either Hypoactive Sexual
Desire Disorder (no sex drive) or Sexual Aversion Disorder (pain
or discomfort during sex). In either case, I suppose it is I
who am suffering. My wife would be more than happy to never
be the least bit sexual for the rest of her life.
She was
this way, although to a lesser degree, even before we met. Sadly,
I thought that she was suffering from a guilt complex associated
with her rather strict and conservative upbringing. I had hoped
that she would become more comfortable with sex once she was
married. I took the gamble and I lost.
My wife
and I have read more books and sought therapy with more counselors,
doctors, and psychiatrists than I can remember. In the end,
nothing has worked, and I have seen my wife's comfort with sex
worsen over the years. I have not had an easy time of having
celibacy forced upon me, and I am quite certain that I cannot
continue leading a life devoid of a sexual relationship.
Thus, my
question to you is this: Can Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
be cured, or should I simply call it quits on my marriage? I
have always been committed to my marriage, and if at all possible
I would prefer to find some way of making my marriage work.
Any help or insight that you might be able to provide would
be greatly appreciated.
Kindest
regards.
Lisa's
Reply-
Thank you for your inquiry. I truly empathize with your dilemma.
I can imagine it must be a very hard situation for you to be
in. Below is information about the definition of Hypo Sexual
Desire Disorder as well as recommended treatment options and
my overall thoughts-
Traditional
Approach-
Hypoactive
Sexual Desire Disorder is a lack of sexual desire that causes
a woman personal distress either to them or from conflict that
it causes in their relationship with a significant other. This
includes a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of
sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or
being sexual. Often women suffering with this complaint will
report they feel "flat" sexually or sexually "dead".
It is important
to note that a low sex drive should not be confused with an
inability to reach orgasm. Many women with a low sex drive are
capable of successful sexual arousal and may also achieve orgasm.
~ Medications (eg.: birth control-
Progestin, Depo-Provera ®) as well as
non-birth control medications (eg.: antidepressants,
hormones, and more). ~ Emotional factors: e.g. depression,
anxiety, stress. ~ Relationship factors: e.g. conflicts,
anger, lack of trust. ~ Menopause: natural or surgical.
~ Sexual
arousal disorder: e.g. sex is frustrating and/or painful. ~ Pregnancy ~ Obesity or Anorexia ~ Illicit Drugs and alcohol ~ Sexual abuse
CLICK
HERE To read more detail about
some of the potential causes.
Emotional
& Mental Factors-
First, consider
whether there are indeed emotional or relationship variables
contributing to the problem. It helps to be evaluated by a trained
sex therapist who can help her sort this out. I am not sure
if you have included sex therapists in your search for assistance...
but
obviously, a sex therapist would be a bonus. Unfortunately most
sexually repressed individuals will not even consider going
to one.
She will
also need to rule out medical causes as well. The first step
is to rule out hormonal factors, especially low testosterone.
This can be accomplished with simple blood tests.
From what
we presently understand about the role of testosterone in women,
Free Testosterone should be a minimum of 1.9 and Total Testosterone
should be a minimum of 20. If her testosterone is low, she can
talk to her doctor about potentially replacing her testosterone.
If she feels like her sexual response is low and that is feeding
into her lack of interest due to pain, dryness, or lack of response
or arousal, or physical release, she should consider seeking
evaluation and treatment of sexual arousal disorder.
Alternative
Approaches-
After medical
causes have been ruled out, I can tell you that with alternative
therapies such as EMDR therapy have provided positive results.
A web site to find out more about that is as follows- http://www.emdr.com/
Also, if
she is very analytical, introspective, etc. then she may need
a more intensive, visceral way to release some of her feelings
that are resurfacing and trying to get her attention to deal
with them. Sometimes "talk therapy" is just not the way to go
for those types. A therapy for that is Holotropic Breathwork.
The national site for that is-
She may
also consider some massage therapy to allow her to get more
acquainted with her body in a way that is healthy. Many sexual
issues are dealt with effectively from therapeutic massage for
a few reasons... one it brings them back in touch with their
body and often sparks an emotional release during the session
(Thus she should let the massage therapist know in advance about
what issues she is currently trying to work through so that
they can be prepared for her to have an emotional release).
Acupuncture
is also a wonderful tool. You can read more about it in my article.
My Overall
Thoughts-
As for you
my dear man, I am so sorry you have been struggling to find
sexual pleasure, which you most certainly deserve. There is
always hope even in the bleakest of situations, but the answer
for you may lie not in the hope of your wife changing, but within
you by changing your life with the answers that only you can
find within your heart.
Make
sure that you seek out those things in your life that will provide
you with joy and love, as our lives are short and ultimately
we get what we settle for in situations. Whatever choices you
make for yourself in your future, I wish you well and hope that
you and your wife will find happiness together or separate of
one another in this life time.
Best,
Lisa
Kinko's
Is Not So Kinky
When Will Our Society Grow Up
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
As
many of you know, we publish our own book The Art of Female
Ejaculation. We researched several companies to find
the best quality and lowest price to bind our full color 150
page book.
When
I called Kinko's of Longmont, Colorado, I was warmly greeted
by an employee named Elizabeth. She was great. I had called
her to let her know what my company was interested in doing
and also wanted to inquire if Kinko's would be open to working
on the book as I explained to her that, while it was not porn,
it was sexual in nature and explicit. She said that it should
not be a problem, but that she would have to run it by her manager
Mike. I completely understood and let her know that I too was
concerned because I was not sure if they had anyone under the
age of eighteen working there and I am adamant that only adults
who desire to work with our company do so.
I
met in person with Elizabeth and Mike and they both assured
me that it would be fine to publish the books there. After expressing
my concerns about who would actually be doing the work and ensuring
that they were also all right with the project as well as being
over eighteen they arranged to have one person be my main contact
and do all the work for us on binding the books. Liz was this
person and like Elizabeth, she was very pleasant to work with.
We've
been getting our books bound at Kinko's for sometime now and
after having dropped off a new batch of printed pages that needed
to be bound into books last month we received a phone call letting
us know that the machine they use to bind the books had broken.
Having orders beginning to build up we were concerned. I asked
how long it would take for them to have the machine fixed and
they said that they would contact me after their tech. came
and looked it over.
A
week passed and I had not heard from them, so I called to inquire
what the situation was. I was told that the machine was still
broken, that a new motor had to be ordered and it was going
to take a couple of weeks for the part to come in for the machine
to be repaired. I was also told by Elizabeth that she was moving
out of the state and that there was a new manager there as well.
Liz who did all the work for us was still going to be there
so I was not too worried about it, although I was sad to see
a great employee like Elizabeth as well as her manager go.
I
of course eMailed our customers to let them know of the delays
on the hard copy book The Art of Female Ejaculation
and told them it seemed like the machine would be repaired in
two weeks.
After
two weeks, I called to find out if the machine was still broken.
They told me it was probably best if I try and get it done at
another store. The way the employee said this seemed odd, like
they were afraid to tell me what was really going on.
They
told me to go to another Kinko's that was 30 miles away so I
drove out there only to find that the Kinko's they sent me to
does not even have that kind of machine.
Thus,
I had to drive all the way back to the Kinko's in Longmont and
let them know that the other store does not do the type of binding
we need and asked what I should do as I was concerned about
the amount of time it was taking for their machine to be fixed.
The new manager, Mark came over to me and asked if we could
sit down motioning to a far corner in the store away from everyone.
I could tell by the look on his face he was about to tell me
bad news and thought it strange that he wanted me to sit down
in this little cubby to discuss it. I told him that we could
discuss it right there in the middle of the store and there
was no reason to sit down.
He
indicated that since he became manager of the store no one was
willing to work on binding our book because of it's content
(even though to bind them you don't have to look inside the
book and the cover is rated "G"). I looked over at
Liz who immediately excused herself to work on another project
and could tell that Mark was the real reason they were no longer
wanting to bind our book as Liz had never had a problem with
it before and in fact had show enthusiasm about it along with
Elizabeth.
Then
Mark told me that there are no other local printers that he
knows of who does the binding we need. There was a bit of disgust
in his voice as if what we need is some low-life printer who
deals with the scum of the earth.
Just
before he had pulled me aside, I had overheard an employee in
the background indicate that they are confused as to the problem
because the machine is fixed. Having heard that and looking
into the face of this condescending, arrogant manager I began
to get angry.
In
a firm, yet professional voice, I asked him to explain to me
why it is that they have felt the need to string me along for
almost a month, keeping my customers waiting when the entire
month, he knew that he was not going to permit us to do business
with them.
I
could have at least respected this man's opinion if he had the
decency to have called me and let me know that he was the new
manager and did not want to have what I am sure he considers
"smut" in his store. However, that is not what happened.
He chose not to act with integrity and be honest with me about
his stance... he wasted my time and more importantly my customers
time with his dishonesty.
This
article does not reflect what any of the Kinko's policies
are other than-
Mark, Manager
of
Kinkos residing at-
980 Ken Pratt Blvd # B
Longmont, CO 80501
It
occurred to me as I was standing there that if I had brought
in a book on war with pictures of dead soldiers, etc. we would
not be having this discussion. I am always amazed at how much
we accept violence over sexuality.
I
mean have you ever heard of someone saying they were offended
by pictures of war? I never have. Turn on the television and
I bet you will see a dead body or violent act within minutes
of going through the major networks. Yet, a picture of a nude
body or education about a woman's sexual functioning... well
now we are talking about something utterly disgusting right?
I
asked Mark if they would at least fulfill the promise they had
made to me to do this one last batch of books to hold us over
until I could find a new printer. Mark simply looked at me with
no remorse for his unethical business practices and said no,
offering me no other alternatives.
Then
he actually had the audacity to say to me that they still wanted
to do business with us, just not our book. I asked him why he
thought I would want to do business with them after the way
they lied to me, sent me driving sixty miles out of my way to
a store they knew could not help and then refuse me the order
they had promised me because he has an issue with educating
people about women's sexuality? I told him that I would never
do business with them again because I do not deal with companies
that are unethical and walked out.
Needless
to say I have two potential printers for our books so I will
be able to fulfill those orders, but I wanted to share this
story because, like the Joanne
Webb case, it is yet another example of our society truly
needing to grow up when it comes to sexuality.
Bottom
line... I don't have as much of an issue with Mark for not wanting
to do business with us on our books, as I have with him being
deceitful about the machines being broken and referring me to
another store well knowing they could not do the work. I guess
he figured he could trick me into taking the unbound books out
of the store and then consider himself free of responsibility
for an order they had already promised to me and my customers.
Another case of sexual education prejudice in a backward world
where deceit, judgment and segregation is fine, but sexual health
issues are not.
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Valentine's
Day Romance ~ Love ~ Woo
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Well,
we got them in! In our last newsletter we asked for romantic
Valentine's day suggestions and this just a handful of what
our newsletter readers have to say are sexy & loving ways
to make a sweetheart of a day special-
Readers
Comments~
Hi
Lisa,
What
about having people take their lover to a different place
to make love, and bring melted chocolate and cream, and
read up on some Tantric tricks to bring the souls together,
not just a quickie.
Peace,
Gil
Dear
Lisa,
Thanks
for the latest newsletter !! I haven`t any Valentines
story - Since my Girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me
just over 1 year ago.... If YOU could put me in touch
with someone in my area , I`ll gladly send you a story
then !!!! Thanks for the letter & I hope to hear from
you very soon .
Dave
Troy , MI
To contact eMail Holistic
Wisdom and we will forward your eMail to Dave.
One
year I made a delicious batch of brownies and provided
my husband with some handmade cards I created with a little
construction paper, glue and creativity. The cards were
coupons for various romantic gestures that I promised.
The one he seemed to like the most was the "get out
of the dog house free" card! Needless to say, I honored
it and he was a happy man.
-Jen
I
put an ad in the paper in a cutsey code for my hubby so
that only he would know what it meant. I then laid the
paper out with it circled in a red heart shape on the
breakfast table with eggs benedict and his favorite Starbucks
blend.
-Linda
My
wife always loved getting her neck and feet rubbed after
her long shifts as a nurse. I bought her a weekend retreat
at a spa with mud baths, massage therapy sessions galore
and even hair and makeup. She came back more beautiful
than I had ever seen her on the inside and out and she
paid me back and then some with the incredible night of
lovemaking that followed!
-Frank
I
surprised my boyfriend wearing only a trenchcoat and a
can of whipped cream in one hand and chocolate sauce in
the other. Needless to say he enthusiastically let me
in when he answered the door.
-Cassie
My
girlfriend was hinting that she was ready to get married
after being together for three years. I too was feeling
like it was the next step, so I called her boss at an
insurance company she worked for and explained why she
needed the day off, but asked that she not be told. Then
when she went to work in the morning, about an hour after
she began her work routine, I brought in three dozen red
roses and hid behind them as I entered her office. Her
whole office gathered around the door as I got on my knee
and told her that I adored her and couldn't live without
her, asking her to be my wife. She accepted, and with
her boss' blessing I whisked her off for a three day weekend
on a trip to Cancun. We had a blast! I am glad to report
we are still happily married these twenty seven years
later.
-David
I
made a scrap book of all of our mementos in it from theatre
stubs to photos of our lives which I collected to reminisce
whenever we like. I then wrapped it and attached a card
that read- "The good times show our love, the hard
times in-between these pictures and moments prove it."
We've been married for 38 years and still going strong.
-Betty
My
boyfriend took me on what I thought was going to be a
camping trip. He surprised me with a romantic cruise!
It was so much fun and the best Valentine's gift ever!
-
Jane
My
wife and I had our daughter on Valentine's day. She was
the best present we have ever received. She will be one
this coming Valentine's day and we are spending it with
each other.
-
Brad
My
hubby got me a basket and filled it with sex toys (kinda
like your female
ejaculation baskets I saw on your site- great idea!)
I loved it! He included the Hitachi
Magic Wand in it and it was a funnnnnnn night!
-
Kelly
Last
year, I lit several scented candles around the house (vanilla
and boy did it smell good). Then I got out some chilled
champagne, romantic music and Godiva chocolates and met
my sweetheart at the door with nothing on but Victoria's
Secret lingerie. Then after some wonderful love making
I suggested we go out for dinner (I had made reservations
ahead of time at a great seafood place) and told him he
should first open my gift. It was a small white box with
a red bow with a set of Lexus SC keys in it. I bought
him his dream car. He was quite happy to drive it to dinner!
-
Lisa
My
wife and I often struggled to make ends meet with a budding
business and family expenses. We decided to renew our
wedding vows with just us in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains.
We stood near a hot tub in the room with candles lit and
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-
Jack
One
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My boyfriend had to pop them to get to the sweet center
of me holding two tickets to a Lakers game. He did the
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heeeee!
Got
both my girlfriend and me a day at the spa. Then introduced
her to your video (The
Art of Female Ejaculation). We were so relaxed and
sated afterward we spent the next day sleeping!
-
Karen
Okay,
this present was more for me... but I did make him a nice
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L.D.
I
got my wife your video (The
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when you said two cups!!! She loved it, and I felt like
it was the best present for me too! Thanks Lisa, your
are the best.
-
Frank
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Wisdom Founder)
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Joanne
Webb Update-
Gag
Order! Under
Attack Selling Sex Toys & Talking About Sex... Illegal?
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Joanne
Webb Was On-
ABC Prime Time
Thursday, February 5th 2004
If
you haven't been following our story, Joanne Webb, a former
fifth-grade teacher, is a Burleson, TX, suburban mother and
part-time saleswoman for a company called Passion Parties, Inc.
She is also in the middle of one of the most ridiculous criminal
cases. Joanne provides adult novelties that are sold at Tupperware-type
house parties. These parties are educational and great for people
who feel more comfortable buying marital aids in a private home
than at an adult bookstore.
Acting
on a tip in November 2003, two undercover officers got a warrant
for her arrest on charges that she had sold obscene devices,
a violation of state law.
Update-
Judge
issues temporary gag order in sex toys arrest case January 29,
2004
The
Judge in Joanne's case on Thursday, Jan. 29th 2004, imposed
a temporary gag order. The prosecuting attorney Bill Moore filed
a motion seeking to stop Joanne Webb, her family and attorney
from talking about the misdemeanor case that has generated publicity
nationwide since her November arrest.
Bill
Moore has repeatedly refused to comment on the case. Personally
I think he is out of his mind for having agreed to pursue this!
Johnson County Court Judge Robert Mayfield said he would rule
on whether to issue a permanent gag order at another hearing
in about 10 days.
I
am pretty confident that Bill Moore the prosecuting attorney
did this "gag order" because it must be really embarrassing
for them to be made to look so foolish internationally. The
majority consensus among people has been that this backward
law in Texas is unconstitutional and the true motivation behind
Joanne's arrest is due to the pettiness of some folk that thought
Joanne's skirts were too short so they were going to teach her
a lesson when she kept wearing them despite their warnings.
I
guess they did not bet that Joanne would stand up to their bully
tactics as well as speak for all women and their partners in
America as she fights for the rights of all citizens to be able
to own and sell sex toys and not lie about what they are used
for!
"We
should be able to open up the lines of communication, not shut
them down, to help women be educated about these issues; it's
once again infringing on my freedom," Joanne said, referring
to the gag order.
Her
attorney BeAnn Sisemore has filed a motion to dismiss the case.
Sisemore has said the state obscenity law violates someone's
right to own a sexual device, which is not illegal.
Joanne,
we know that the backward laws and law enforcers in Texas have
taken away your right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH, which is unconstitutional,
as well as your right to sell legal items such as sex toys.
But we can be your voice for the time being and let it be known
that we Americans will not stand for this injustice.
Burelson,
Texas... Americans as well as other Countries are watching you
and we will not allow you to victimize anymore Americans though
such unjust treatment! We are all sexual beings, and we are
proud of it.
Hang
in there Joanne... ee support you and we will stand up with
you as you fight this noble fight!
If
you have not read the full story CLICK
HERE to read all about it.
See
comments made by Joanne and our readers since our last update
in our readers forum below.
Olivia
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Soy
Highly Scented Candles Why
Soy?
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Mmmm...
scented candles! Being a Taurus I love beauty and pleasure.
That is why scented candles have always been a special favorite
of mine. When I was in my early twenties I had an apartment
that smelled like sweet raspberries because there was a candle
that my supermarket sold that was a favorite and thus, I had
one burning most of the time.
After
a couple months of burning this beautiful smelling candle I
noticed that my walls were turning a bit gray from the smoke.
I wasn't sure why at the time, but now I know that what most
candles burn is not only black smoke that gets over everything
but has toxic chemicals in them! Like many people, I was surprised
that stores are allowed to sell candles that have harmful toxins
that they release in the air. I guess they are more concerned
with profit (because they can sell them with cheaper wax with
toxins) than their customers health!
How
many times have you or someone you know bought a candle at a
local grocery store and taken it home, only to find that it
lasts just a couple of days or you practically burn your nose
just to get a whiff of the scent on the label?
That
is why I now only recommend soy, which you will read more about
in a moment, but I have contracted with a soy candle maker to
make candles for Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
Why
Soy?
Soy
wax is made from a renewable resource - natural soybeans. These
little guys are grown right here in the USA, so purchasing soy
candles is an excellent way to support American farmers and
their families.
~
Soy wax is non-toxic, and an excellent
choice for those wishing to burn
environmentally friendly candles.
~
Soy wax is water soluble and can
easily be removed from the
container.
~
Soy wax burns longer and more uniformly,
so every candle has an even burn pool.
~
Candles made of soy wax burn
30% longer than any paraffin candle.
~
Soy wax begins to liquefy as it burns which creates
added scent throw.
~
Soy wax will leave your candle containers and walls
free from the black soot.
We do not use ordinary paraffin wax. Ordinary
paraffin wax is used in almost
90% of all candles made today. Paraffin wax
contains 11 documented toxins.
Two of these toxins are toluene and benzene,
which are known to be
carcinogenic. Basically, when you burn paraffin
wax from a candle it
produces some very unhealthy soot emissions.
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Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
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Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
Holistic Wisdom Founder
Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., CEO
We have
many fans of our Phallix™ Pyrex Glass Dildos & Toys
and because of the many of you who collect them and those who
simply like a large variety to choose from we have added many
more new selections to our already large pyrex glass line.
I am often
asked what type of glass sex toys are the most effective. I
think it really comes down to what it is you are trying to achieve.
If you are
wanting the ultimate in g-spot and prostate stimulation then
I really like the wand styles as they are the easiest to manipulate
whether your partner is doing the pleasuring or you are. Ultimately,
both the g-spot and prostate respond best to pressure movements
rather than rubbing movements. That is why the "come hither"
finger motion is always mentioned when reviewing fingering techniques
for either.
If you want
to "ride" your glass dildo then adhering it to a flat
surface is easily achieved by velcro strips making the standing
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Believe
it or not many people collect them as decor for their homes,
etc. and thus the standing dildos are perfect for that as well.
One woman
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(of yin [female] and yang [masculine]) in her home as she is
really into Feng Shui. She told me that was why she was buying
one. I don't think you can get more "yang" than that!
When you
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These
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Also, for
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Help
Support Sexual Health Educators Donate
To Our Holistic Wisdom Legal Aid Support Fund
Lisa
S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O.
After
learning of the Joanne
Web case we decided to start a charity department that will
provide adult businesses and individuals like Joanne that need
funds to pay for all of the legal costs that come with such
ridiculous and unconstitutional legal battles.
ALL
proceeds will go to legal assistance to aid individuals that
need it and who are involved in the adult businesses that meet
our standards.
The Holistic Wisdom Legal Aid Charity
Donation
Holistic
Wisdom
Readers
Forum
This
section allows our readers to provide feedback regarding
articles and topics on our web site. All correspondence
from our readers is with their permission. Opinions
expressed through our forum are not necessarily our
own, but we believe in the freedom of speech and allow
for those who wish to be heard an opportunity to express
themselves.
To submit your opinions such as the one's
shown below eMail
us for consideration of publishing
it in our next newsletter.
Written
by Joanne on 1-27-04 Prior to the unjust gag order!
Joanne
Webb
Lisa,
Thank
you so much. Did you get to see me on Good Morning America
last Thursday morning? It was so last minute, we had 30
minutes to pack. My
story hit the New York Times that morning and we got the
call to leave by that afternoon.
They
are also going to do my story on ABC "Prime Time" next
Thursday, Feb. 5. Be sure to watch, I'm hoping they'll
do a complete coverage of the story. We'll see.
Thank
you so much for all that you're doing to support me and
women across America to be able to stand up for our rights
to freedom of speech, freedom of expression sensually,
and the most basic freedom, to be able to be educated
on sexual issues facing women today! My first Pretrial
hearing is on this Thursday Jan. 29th ...I'm sure they
won't be dropping the case. I'll keep you posted on the
outcome.
Joanne
Webb
If
this law is to be applied equally it must be updated to
include Viagra and similar drugs and every doctor and
druggist who has made these drugs available should be
prosecuted or the law is being applied in an unequal manner
since males are escaping entirely the burden of prosecution.
Surely there is no difference between a sex toy of plastic
and a chemical device that renders an otherwise useless
appendage functional in the same manner.
M.
C. - Rochester, MI
Lisa
Lawless Notes-
Joanne was provided with this idea for her legal defense
upon receiving the eMail. Thank you M.C.!
Hello
Holistic Wisdom Folk,
I
have just heard about the persecution of your fellow citizen
Joanne Webb. I'm a British Citizen... I find it absolutely
amazing that here in the 21st century that some of your
politicos are so backward and ignorant in parts of the
US... I mean is this not the country where the president
got his rocks off by having a young women stick a cigar
up her pussy, while doing business in the oval office?
Middle
America, sorry, but wake up and smell the tobacco... you're
making yourselves look foolish. You've got enough on your
plate with Bush. Maybe if he drops a couple of smart bombs,
and treats the world to some more of that good old US
of A friendly fire. The word "wankers" appears very big
on the horizon - there's your irony: "The wankers are
running your country, but they won't let you wank! Hat's
off to Joanne!
Major
D. Scone
Lisa,
This
is the most time I have spent reading an article on your
website. I was horrified about what is happening to Joanne.
I am in the process of moving to Texas in the next 6 months.
The good thing is not to the area Joanne lives.
In
the last two years I have become more open with sex. Sex
toys have been a big part of our new found enjoyment.
I can finally say I enjoy sex and I don't just go through
the motions. I feel that lots of men think they should
be the only ones to enjoy sex. Once they are done they
don't care if their woman was fulfilled. Luckily there
are men that do not feel that way, my husband included.
I
tell most people I know about your website. I have a link
on my website to yours. There are too many people who
are scared to think about sex as enjoyable. I am glad
I am not like that. I intend to be very open with my children
about sex and relationships when they are older. Keep
up the good work!
-N.
I
really have to thank you for several things.
First,
I have been following the Texas sex toy case and I'm so
glad that you have looked into it and keep us updated.
I admire you so much for all you do and this is just the
icing on the cake that made me finally decide to write
you.
You
have helped me more than you will ever know. I stumbled
onto your site when I was researching female ejaculation.
Your book and articles made my husband and I finally successful
in accomplishing that, and we are so much happier now.
But
that was only the beginning... we are learning more all
the time and our sex life is so much better and we are
so much closer than I could have imagined. I have also
decide to follow in your foot steps in my small way in
our area. I wanted to help others too. I started trying
to do home parties to help others. So this case in Texas
REALLY got my attention.
I
haven't been successful yet at getting the word out because
I have not been sure how to do it in this bible belt community.
I'm glad now that I have been cautious. If you have tips
that can help me they would be greatly appreciated. Once
again thank you so much for keeping us so informed.
-D.
Lisa's
Reply-
Thank
you for your eMail! Always great to hear positive feedback!
As far as tips on how to do home parties... well, I guess
we will have to wait and see as far as how this case goes
and if it will affect federal laws or not. Honestly, I
worry myself that some repressed, backward individual
will come after us and I spend a lot of time researching
laws and doing everything I can to protect our company.
The best advice I can give is get a lawyer's advice BEFORE
you go into this business so they can educate you on what
to look for. Also, you can check out the following web
site which is one I refer to often-
First,
thanks for the website and your products, which have spiced
up my love life tremendously. I was incensed to read about
the plight of Joanne Webb. I find it abhorrent that a
maladjusted, uptight, and scared minority believe they
have the right to impose their twisted values on others
in this way.
I
hope she wins and the law makers are forced to eat the
pages they wrote. I have only seen the information on
your site and so I might be barking up the wrong tree,
but it does seem to me that Joanne's constitutional
right to freedom of speech has been violated by this law.
If
the only reason she was arrested was that she explained
the actual use to which the 'novelty' she was selling
could be put, then she is being gagged and her freedom
to express her views removed.
Assuming
she did not miss-sell, misrepresent or in any way lie
about the product, offering her opinion on how the product
could be used for fun and fulfillment is simply exercising
that right to free speech.
And
she was not pushing her views on to an unwilling or under
age audience, but explaining a product IN PRIVATE to customers
who had specifically sort her out. That leads on to entrapment.
Any question or comment at all that was posed by the undercover
agents that indicated they wanted more information about
the actual use of the product beyond it's 'novelty' value,
knowing that there is a law forbidding such an explanation,
must be entrapment.
Enticing
someone to break the law in order to arrest them is again
utterly abhorrent. Finally, a law that specifically prevents
a retailer from accurately describing a product and it's
function, is surely going against all the principles of
customer protection that the law tries so hard to impose.
And a law that prevents the free exchange of information
and ideas IN PRIVATE about a subject that is normal, natural
and an everyday part of most people's lives is utterly
absurd and should be challenged and ridiculed at every
opportunity.
I
wish Joanne and her lawyer all the best and I hope for
the sake of sanity that they win and get the law repealed.
-Nick
Lisa
Lawless Notes-
Joanne was provided with this idea for her legal defense
upon receiving the eMail. Thank you Nick!
I
saw the segment on Good Morning America this morning and
thought it was a joke. I cannot believe that the laws
in the State of Texas are as backwards as they are. I
would be embarrassed to consider it my address. Hang in
there Joanne.. every woman in the universe will be behind
you on this one!!!! They need to put some of those blue
haired law keepers to pasture in my opinion!!!!
I
have lived in Texas for almost two years now, and I can't
wait to find a job that gets me out of this purgatory !!
Texas sucks !!! I am with Joanne Webb 100% on this, and
anyone else who can upset the Cowboys who run this state
! They are totally out of touch with the real world, which
is not surprising as most of them have never (nor have they
wished to) journey beyond the Red River. I actually received
word of this story from a friend in Germany....that's how
unbelievable it is. F*** Tex-Ass
As
a Passion Parties consultant also it is great to see the
tremendous support out there for Joanne!! She is a wonderful
sweet woman. She and her family will pull through this just
fine I am sure!! Thanks for your support!!
Disbelief!!!
It is all so very scary!!! After reading Mireya Navaro's
"Arrest Startles Saleswomen of Sex Toys" in the New York
Times of 20 January 2004, I was numbed... I have resolved
to pass this kind of information to as many friends as possible.
Especially women should become empowered to deal with these
issues of suppression and mistreatment, not just in the
realm sex and erotics. Joanne Webb should be applauded.
Sadly,
there is nothing novel about the un-American behavior of
Texas law enforcement and about this stupid, stupid law.
What an obscene waste of time and money. What a kick in
the face to the notion of liberty.
General
Comments~
Hello.
My name is Julie and I have just recently purchased and
viewed your female ejaculation dvd. When purchasing it,
and in anticipation of receiving it, I had numerous thoughts
go through my head as to what type of product I had purchased.
Let
me just say that your dvd is only 1 out of about 10 or
so sexual related items that I have purchased in my life.
I am 33 (almost 34). Any how, back to my thoughts . .
. . I figured the the quality of the dvd would be either
trashy in nature and porn type movie OR it would be like
listening to a sex ed teacher in the 8th grade. Needless
to say, it was neither.
My
husband and I watched it together and found it extremely
informative, as well as entertaining, and at the very
least -- amazing. In my 20's, I knew that I wanted something
different, sexually. I was married and unhappy. I had
all of these wild and exotic thoughts, however, I thought
that if I ever expressed them, I would be seen as dirty
and obscene. (as though you haven't heard that before).
Now, well after my divorce, I know that I should had talked
about those things. At that time, I was ashamed and worried
what people, no my husband, would think.
I
am now remarried and have the best sex ever. The kind
of sex that I knew in my heart existed, but just wasn't
sure. During that I was single, I use that time to get
in touch with myself and to accept that I had desires,
as did every other woman, and my future marriage would
revolve around that idea. I somehow found my way to your
web page, and with my husband's encouragement, purchased
the dvd. (no luck yet, just got it, it's gonna happen).
As I said, we viewed together and enjoyed it. He stands
ready and able to do whatever he can to assist me achieve
the ultimate orgasm. He's such a good man!
Hi
I recently ordered the Female Ejaculation dvd, and you
mentioned a make your own dildo kit where you can mold
your sweetie himself. I am not able to find this product
on your site, do you offer it? If not, please advise where
I may purchase it. Would be great to have him there when
he 's not able to be there Enjoying the dvd, haven't actually
tried it myself yet but looking forward to it
I
saw on your website that you had aerobic tapes learning
how to strip tease, I can't seem to find it now....
PLEASE
HELP
C.W.
Lisa
writes-
Wow,
I will work on the navigation of this site this week...
you are right, we do offer the strip tease tapes. The
link is in are articles section and I will add more links
to make it easier to find for others as well. Also, Fawnia
just wrote me and provided some updated articles that
will be in the next newsletter so keep an eye out for
them. Here is a link- Fawnia's-
Strip Tease Videos
Lisa,
I just wanted to let you know that I received the DVD
and thoroughly enjoyed watching it. I plan on trying your
techniques, hopefully with success, this weekend as soon
as I finish my period. I’ll send a follow-up email and
let you know how things go or if I have any additional
questions. Once again, I want to thank you for all of
your personalized attention!
K.
Lisa
writes-
Thank
you! I love hearing that!
Male
Masturbators: Pocket Pussy & Sex Dolls Do
They Work? Or Is Your Hand Better?
Dear Mrs.
Lawless,
Can
you recommend something for male masturbation, please?
I have been
using KY Liquid or going through hip movements/thrusts like
I'm having intercourse on the bed with a female partner. I guess
that what I am asking you to advise is; a cheaper version of
the RealDoll. It allows the man to thrust, instead of using
my hand!
THANK YOU,
C.N.
Dear
C.N.,
I found
a man who has some experience with Masturbator toys for men
and thought you might value his comments. - Lisa
Hi
Lisa,
LOVE your
web page and eMails. Your last newsletter mentioned men's toys.
Fantastic
feel (and price)..........can't be beat and men finally have
a decent "toy" of their own!
One
of the worst toys I’ve used are jelly masturbation sleeves.
The one I ordered from another store was the Mermaid Masturbator
shown to the left. It came in an unsealed box, wrapped in a
small sheet of plastic. It did look new and un-used.
Just to
be safe I washed it with a mild soap and hot water, rinsed,
and dried. The material is fairly soft, but they give you an
opening about the size of an atom! I lubed up (I used a lot
of lube) getting ready for a good time only to realize I couldn't
even get my dick into it. So I tried to pry it open. I had a
hard time just inserting one finger into it.
I noticed
at this point that the thing had some sort of weird ribbing
texture inside. The texture is similar to the threads on a screw.
I was starting to loose my erection, so I had to work quickly.
Persistent to get in to this thing I inserted a 2nd finger in.
Now I was able to pry this thing open, I stuffed my dick in
and I removed my fingers. Ouch! This thing is so tight, and
the ribbing hurt. There was no way that I was going to finish
this way.
Folks if
pussy felt like this, the world would be a barren desolate place.
Skip this one at all costs.
My recommendation
is to use your hand and some
lube, it will be a much better experience. In conclusion...
If you like your pee hole stretched open, and the feeling of
your skin ripping off... then by all means buy this. If you're
looking for the feel of pussy, look elsewhere. This thing now
lives in the bottom of my trash can
You might
want to try the doll which Lisa sells (also shown below) however,
you are probably better left using your happy hand!
- A. Wright
About
Sex Dolls-
Sex dolls
are designed to resemble a real person and allow their owner
to use them for masturbation and simulated sexual encounters.
Their main appeal is that they make it much easier for the user
to fantasize about being with a real person.
The more
realistic they are the more expensive they become. Most sex
dolls are made of a latex material with the most commonly used
areas (vagina, anus, and mouth) removable for easy cleaning.
They least expensive ones are sometimes made out of cheap plastic
and are most suitable for bachelor parties and graduation ceremonies.
You typically can't find a decent sex doll for less than $200,
and can pay as much as $1,000 for a top of the line model. As
with most things, you get what you pay for.
With any
large investment it's important that you take care of it properly.
Wash every area that you use after each use according to the
instructions that come with your sex doll (different materials
require different methods). You'll have a lot more fun if you
invest in a top of the line doll and take care of it rather
than buying and ruining a bunch of cheap ones.
Special
Note: Sex dolls are great for practice. With enough use
you can learn to have total control over your orgasm. The more
you get used to holding back with your sex doll, the easier
it will be when you are with a real person. Believe me, if you
have total control over when you orgasm, you will make your
partner extremely happy!
Also, if
any men out there have a masturbator they love... let us know
and we will look into sharing your story as well as carrying
it for others to enjoy!
The
Holistic Wisdom Journal 
After
a quick search for information on your web site, I think you
would describe my wife as suffering from either Hypoactive Sexual
Desire Disorder (no sex drive) or Sexual Aversion Disorder (pain
or discomfort during sex). In either case, I suppose it is I
who am suffering. My wife would be more than happy to never
be the least bit sexual for the rest of her life. 
One
of the worst toys I’ve used are jelly masturbation sleeves.
The one I ordered from another store was the Mermaid Masturbator
shown to the left. It came in an unsealed box, wrapped in a
small sheet of plastic. It did look new and un-used. 
The
Holistic Wisdom Corporation