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General Comments~

Absolutely love the newsletter actually getting a great education!

Lisa,                                                                  "Sex Before Marriage"

Thank you for your insightful newsletter. How I wish this had been out 30 years ago. I was a virgin the day I married. And it wasn't for lack of offers, it was just something I felt was 'right' at the time. How wrong I was. It wasn't until I had been married for 27 years, his abuse escalated from emotional and verbal to physical [this seemed to coincide with my graduation from college], and I finally had the nerve to end the marriage that I realized he used sex as a weapon, something to control me.

There have only been three men with whom I've been intimate. [Honestly, I feel rather slow.] I have a wonderful man in my life now, who is understanding of my foibles, and doesn't treat me as second class because I lack a penis. He's also great in bed.

                                                                         "Women In Porn"

As far as actresses in pornography go, I work in law offices. We have represented women in the industry, and who worked as outcall prostitutes. On the whole, they are nice, normal women that I wouldn't mind having lunch with. One is just as apt to run into a stripper at the local PTA meeting as anyone else. It just happens to be how they earn their living. I have nothing but the highest respect for them. And a bit of envy, because they're making a hell of a lot more money than I ever could, typing up divorce complaints.

Thank you again for your great letter. It has become the highlight of my email week.

Helen

Women should have the freedom to make their own decisions in life as long as they are mature and responsible enough to choose their path. However, I also feel that they should be ready to accept any criticism and the consequences.

A woman should have the right be be in porn if she chooses. I do not agree with rape in any form. Sex should be between two (or more if that is what you are into) consenting adults. My wife was molested at an early age and she is not damaged goods. A women's past has nothing to do with her present or future in most cases. I realize that there are many women (more men) that never grow up and seem to want extra marital sex which hurts their spouse in the long run.

Due to her bad experience my wife was sexually active at an early age but never enjoyed sex, and she can't explain why she had sex since she hated it. A bad experience can affect a person emotionally and mentally, but if the man can be supportive and loving and be there for her while showing that sex can be loving, enjoyable and fun.

I think my wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. We have a perfect sex life and she cannot keep her hands off of me. I am very proud of her! She tells me that it was me who did it for her, but I tell her that she did it and allowed me to be there for her.

As far as sex before marriage, I say if it feels good, do it. It is the men who are insecure about themselves that are the damaged goods. They may break a woman down, or push them away. In any relationship there has to be trust and above all...RESPECT. If these elements are not there, do not get married. These are my opinions, and I am one opinionated S.O.B!!!

Hi there Lisa,

firstly I hope you are doing well in the latest newsletter we had some interesting topics and before even reading your articles I already agreed with you (I am not finished yet, haven't read the women in porn one yet, but that's for after this email) that's not to say I was going to be on your side no matter what you said I mean I already held the views you were sharing so on to the point of my email today

I found this issue of the news letter very hard to read why? I hear you ask because these topics make me so angry I don't believe in words like "slut" being applied to women it aggravates me SO MUCH when I hear people talking about a certain .. anyone saying oh that *Insert female name here* is such a slut , she was out with guy1 just last night and now she is up to guy3, and its only been four days or even when a guy breaks up with a chick, after the normal period of sadness usually comes the period of anger where anytime the name of their previous partner leaves their mouth its normally followed by "is such a slut" and I FUCKING HATE IT !!!

I'm sorry for having to express my self in such a manner but there is no other way, I myself don't use words like "used" or "damaged goods" for a woman and I try so very very hard not to use words like "slut" in the traditional sense in regard to a woman I have tried to reinvent the word, and I now use the word against a GUY who has just beaten me at something , like a multi player computer game for example cause its a nice harsh word, but with its new context, doesn't have any full on hostility attached my reasoning is this in the language of men the traditional usage of the word "slut" is a woman who will fuck anything that moves and has a phallic object, this means a woman who will have sex with a guy if he just asks nicely, or courts her for a little while.

Now fine, I can see why society would want a word to associate this attribute to a person but this next part is where I come unglued and lose all understanding with my fellow man if a woman of this nature is a "slut" because she knows what she wants sexually and is NOT afraid to go out and get what she wants, when she wants it. Then why is not every man on this planet called a slut instead of man????? 'Cause only those who are already getting it from a loved one, would turn down a attractive woman if she approached them (in any place u choose) and asked them for sex they would be back at her place as fast as the taxi would get them there wouldn't they so why the hell do they get away with calling a woman who enjoys her sexuality a "slut" arg, it makes me so angry

I just want to break these fucking idiots in half. I have a lady friend who has had some bad experience with guys, and she was telling me her story one night, during a very intimate phone call, of these experiences that she felt she was somehow unclean or dirty or something, and was afraid I wouldn't be her friend any more her relating her story to me caused her much pain, she was in tears for half the time when she said "I will understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore because I'm a slut"

I was so hurt, my friend is such a fantastic woman, I would of asked her out my self if she wants already involved with some one else. She is such a great person, but society make her believe she is unworthy because of things she has done needless to say we both cried enough during that phone call I'm glad I had already told her a few weeks before that how much I hate the word slut and why but that didn't give me anything to really say to her how does one guy undo the imprint of society upon even a single wounded female I cant do it , it has taken me a very long time for her to believe that I actually do think she is very attractive. I'm afraid deep down she is still ashamed of her self because of words like "slut" that exist in our society and I hate it.

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Women's views are good but better when the spouse is reading with you, the last week issue of when and attitude for when why and how much should a woman give her man a "blowjob" was very important and he said he agreed and loves the sex act but he always hoped for more and now together that has help from your letter.

I never let go with my orgasms and feared peeing and never understood the female ejaculation, but now soak the bed in pools of fluid. He loves when I cum and asks for me to play with myself just to watch and now love to give him a wet show many times all over him with as far as 2 1/2 - 3 ft shots with my powerful orgasms.

I no longer hold back , I now cum to the point of total body collapse and lay there in recovery and he eats me out and I go again.

Sex needs to released from woman's minds that it is dirty and learn what their body will really do if let go to max orgasm in sex with your partner, man or woman, or solo just to let go and orgasm to relax after a long day. How much is the flesh light I have not seen a price and would like to buy for him to watch him masturbate for me with it?

Thanks,
Debbie

I personally don't believe that it is wrong, but in a religious perspective it is! but if you are practicing that moral, you would have to appreciate that finding some one who shares the same moral is very rare, you could be waiting a long time, also not many women/guys will stay with a partner now days if they refuse to make love to them! a woman in "USED" in my opinion when she is for example promised or lead to believe she will get a little more than a one night stand or sex but gets nothing/is lied to. She is used when she has been lied to in order for the guy to get what he wants.

Damaged goods? well every guy prefers a virgin, it can be an "ego" thing or just the fact that they like to have something no one else has had, however this too is very rare, so in general standards a woman is "Damaged Goods" when she has slept around a lot and is known for it, or when she has slept with someone you know or are closely acquainted with.(As he cannot approach her because someone has already been there, its a territory thing, no one likes to have something that everyone's got or had).

I hope this is some help to you, take care and enjoy your weekend!

Lisa's Reply-

Hi,

Thank you for your reply to the newsletter. I understand why people think that women deserve these titles through rationalizing, but it seems rather sexist to not apply them to men if you are going to go in that direction. Furthermore, I agree with you... it is an "ego thing." Coming from one's ego we have a tendency to be judgmental and critical of others.

You mention that coming from a religious perspective it is wrong to be sexual before marriage. It seems to me that the true message of most religions is to not be judgmental. Doesn't Christianity say-

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

Ecclesiastes 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.

Wasn't it Jesus, Christianity's big guy that said “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.”

So the point of the article is to say that we have a right to jealousy, insecurity and other human emotions, but to cast judgment on a person man or woman is something I feel to be wrong. Calling someone "used" is making them out to be less of a person than the person saying it. I don't believe someone who is evolved, has a strong sense of self esteem and integrity would say that about someone regardless of their sex.

Thanks again for your comments. I believe that open debate is a great way to learn about ourselves and others.

Best,

Lisa

Ramone's Reply To Lisa-

Yes, but first please don't get me wrong, I just want to say that I was giving you the viewpoint of the general "male" perspective.

I'm never one to judge. Your right in saying that those biblical scriptures do speak of not judging and the fact that we will and do sin against god and have no right to judge others for their sins when we ourselves sin. But most people judge out of their own insecurities and jealousy anyway, and the fact is from a religious point of view the bible states we should not pursue sex before marriage, I have recently started to look into religion and attempt to follow it but as I said previously it would be difficult to find someone who would take that standpoint! also as humans we set our own standards and alter them after time.

As for the "used" part it all boils down to the point of "MAN" being the dominant or superior party in our species, it is supposed to be our role and to our credit as "alpha males" and pack leaders to have a great sex life, however as we set our own standards and times are changing you can notice that women are almost contributing an equal role in society so this viewpoint of women being "used" is lessening as they take their standpoint in society, also women are a lot more driven and demanding in this day and it seems they are taking a lot more control now, it wont be long before we are chasing you to the point that we feel used!

Debate is an amazing way to discover the views and perspectives of others, no one can take their own view as the right one until they have learnt and heard others, this way we are inclined to have a greater understanding and a broader mind on any given subject, I also believe that it helps you to be a lot more considerate and understanding of other peoples feelings and views!

Thank you for your reply!

Ramone T. Savva

Lisa,

My name is Kevin. You sent me an email about your Holistic Wisdom newsletter asking for my opinion. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are doing a very good thing. Your newsletter is informative and helpful. It's cool that you distribute this kind of information for free. The Internet can be used as a tool to manipulate and rob people of their money. I'm glad to see someone like yourself who is actually offering material for free and not scamming people. On behalf of probably a lot of people, thank you.

Sincerely,

Kevin

Female Ejaculation Color-

Quick question. When my wife ejaculates, it's not clear, but a rusty color. Is she ejaculating, or is she peeing? She says she's ejaculating. She experiences pleasure, but not sure if she really is. Could you please tell me what she is experiencing?

THANK YOU,
D

Lisa's Reply-

Hi D,

Thank you for your inquiry. Female Ejaculate is generally clear. If it is rusty, she may have blood mixed in (from her menstrual cycle or a health problem) or it could be urine. I do not want to alarm you, but because female ejaculation is typically clear in color, the best thing for her to do is mention it to her OBGYN, because if it is blood that is causing the "rust" color coming from her urethra, there may be a health problem that requires treatment.

A quick idea to determine if it is urine (because women can also urinate during sex, unlike men), have her urinate before and after sexual activity into a cup and compare the smell and color. Urine has a distinct smell and it should be easy to tell.

Again, I really recommend she check with her doctor to be examined and make sure nothing is wrong. As I always say... better safe than sorry. Hope that helps.

Best,
Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Regarding Article On Sex Before Marriage-

I have asked myself and others over the years, what does it mean to be a "VIRGIN?" If a man or woman has sex with many partners, but never gives their heart to anyone, can that person still be considered a virgin? The dictionary defines "virgin" as being untouched. I think this includes more than just the physical realm of a person's being. It also involves the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects of a person. I did not have intercourse before marriage, but had petted and had oral sex and some pretty terrific makeout sessions while in high school and college. But as much as my physical body enjoyed the sensations of the touching (without intercourse), I was unable or unwilling to let go fully and give my heart and soul to the sexual moment. And after 25 years of marriage and giving birth to one child, I still have not given my heart and soul to my husband. So, am I still a VIRGIN?

Regarding Article On Women In Porn-

The first time I ever watched a porn movie, I prayed for the people in the movie. I felt so sad for them. Of course, at that time, I was a very religiously intoxicated person and felt a certain pride and haughtiness about sexual things. I was "above" that kind of behavior and could control my base needs. I also was sexually frustrated and was unable to release myself through masturbation (which I believed was wrong). I was and still am in a sexually nonexistent marriage and at one time had asked my husband to rent a porn movie that we could watch together. I thought that would help us loosen up, but he was too ashamed to go into the video store and rent one. Since then, I have bought many French films and educational porn films and erotic movies and have watched them by myself and they are helping me become real. I am grateful there are people willing to make these kinds of films; they help so many people learn and enjoy and celebrate the gift of sexuality.

Sincerely,
Jacine Harpyer (silent "Y")

I read the newsletter and found everything to be in order in regards to accuracy. I would have written those articles the same as you. Your opinions are very similar to mine. As I have said before, this is a good newsletter. I have even suggested to some of my patients that they should check you web site out. Bill

William H Houseworth, MD

I disagree with your article about pre-marital sexual relationships. My wife and I were both sexually active prior to marriage and I feel that that has caused a weakness in our marriage. It is not a weakness that we haven't been able to talk about a overcome, but I believe that our bond would have been much stronger, much sooner, had we both been virgins till our wedding. I believe that part of what you said is true, abstain ... "simply to focus on something that requires all of our attention". I believe, in hind sight, that I should have been more focused on what my partner was as a whole rather than sexually. But, I allowed my hormones to override my rational thought processes and I gave in to the passion of the moment.

Do I regret my decision to have pre-marital sex? Yes. Do I regret my choice for a wife, friend, lover and mother to our children? NEVER!!!!! I love my wife with all of my heart and would gladly give my life for her. In the whole scope of things I made it to the right place, but took the wrong road to get there.

Thanks,

R.

Lisa's Reply-

Dear R.,

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate your sharing such personal information, and I agree that many people should not have sex before marriage. However, I think that just as not having sex before marriage may have been a better choice for you and your wife, I do not think that it should apply to everyone as we are all different and have unique needs.

I know that there can be all kinds of issues that arise and cause trouble from having sex before marriage: unwanted pregnancies, STDs, emotional trauma, and even jealousy in later years from one's spouse.

However, there are always two sides to everything and trouble from not having sex before marriage can also occur through such things as: unrealistic expectations, resentment for waiting and possibly being disappointed in sex or their spouse or both, a persistent curiosity and focus on "what if" thoughts that focus on the sexual experiences one perhaps wishes they had which can also take away from the intimacy of marriage. You could even say that having sexual relationships (depending on the emotional intimacy of them) can make you a more caring and thoughtful spouse from previous learning experiences.

The list arguing both sides goes on and on and I think that is why it is so important for people to really think about the right choice for them as an individual. I think personality has a lot to do with what is the right choice is for us as individuals. Some people are jealous types, social types, adventurous types. I know many people think that is odd for me to have a monogamous relationship with my husband, especially as someone who teaches sex education the way in which I do... yet, I know that I it works for me and my husband, whereas for others it doesn't. Got to go with what feels right in your heart, not just in your mind.

Another point to consider is what happens when a spouse dies? Is the 2nd marriage less of a marriage because the 1st one ended with a death of their spouse? I think not. Unfortunately, life can get very complicated and within each moment we have to make choices for ourselves to live the best life for ourselves that we can.

In your situation, I think it would be best to focus on how you and your wife can allow the choices you made in your past to empower you, not hold you back. Even when things are painful in our lives, we always have the opportunity to grow from them. I say "opportunity," because we don't always take it. Sometimes we dwell on the negative aspects feeling like we are a victim to the choices we have made. Yet, it is all just about learning and learning means making choices that are not always in our highest good. If we always made the perfect choice I think it would defeat the whole point of being here... we are here to experience life and that includes pleasure AND pain.

I know, some days I too wish that we could have more joy than sorrow, but I also have to remind myself that I would not be the person I am today if I did not have pain in my life. I could not be nearly as compassionate to others if I myself had not been hurt. I could not be nearly as good a wife to my husband if I had not had my own struggles. To be frank, I don't think I really understood what love was until I knew emotional pain of what lack of love was and just how painful that can be. That is why I think that couples who are not virgins before marriage can have just as good a chance at having a wonderful marriage as those who wait.

Again, it depends on the individual's personality and ability to cope with their choices no matter what those are. Thank you again for your very thoughtful eMail. I hope that this eMail finds you well!

Best,
Lisa

Hi Lisa:

I am responding to your article about sex before marriage. I agree that the only person who can decide for you is you. One must have access to information before taking such a step.

My own feeling is that people tend to rush into intercourse and relationships to fast. I think we need a much more broad definition of sex. My personal preference is for Outercourse. Manual stimulation, oral sex, frottage [body rubbing].Of course these options are wonderfully demonstrated in your video "Art of female ejaculation'

Thank you for making it and the free clips. Hopefully I will be getting a VHS copy for myself soon. I would like to see you write about this. Thanks again.

Blessings,
Steve O.

Lisa's Reply-

Hi Steve,

Thank you for your thoughts on this. I agree, most people seek out immediate gratification these days. I myself have to remind myself that telling the microwave to hurry means I am the one who needs to slow down! ;-)

I like your term "Outercourse" and think that while it is great, that is something to think about as well considering that the people waiting until marriage to have sex have a higher STD rate because of partaking in "outercourse." Just another reason why it is not only an emotional issue to consider, but a physical one as well.

Thank you again for your insights as well as your positive feedback... I always love hearing when someone likes what my company is doing.

Best,
Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Your 5/28/04 newsletter was so great! I really love your articles in general, and your pictures in particular! Ha! Of course I would! But to respond for just a moment to this newsletter.

The first article, "Sex Before Marriage" was excellent. Your "take" on who can and who can't dictate what I do in my personal life, is 100 percent correct in my opinion. I need not say more.

The "When Is A Woman Damaged Goods" article is one that really got to me. Half of the "stuff" - Sub section: "Why Do People Say & Think These Horrible Things?" - I've never heard of before! I mean, I never knew it was that bad! I have a brother who might fall into a related category because he thinks he can't go out with a girl unless she's a "Fox"! All right, that really cuts down the playing field in his mind, since there are only a few real "Foxes" around! But when he finds out that a "Fox" has been spoiled or "used", she's no longer a "Fox" in his opinion! He doesn't go so far as to think "horrible" things about her, that I know of, simply that he looks in another direction and takes off after another "Fox", if he can find one!

I, myself, view it a whole different way. A "Fox" to me is what I find in the heart. A good sense of humor, a good wholesome character, a good sense of what's right and wrong, and an overall love of life in general, make for some of the finest "Foxes" around!

I do have to pick one little bone with you, Lisa, about one issue. In your last sentence, you state that folks are, "deserving of respect", and that's 100 percent true. But there are always the exceptions to the rule! I know of many who don't earn or deserve any respect just because of what they truly are. Scumbags and freaks!

Now about the "Women In Porn" article. Once again, the exceptions come into play. A friend of mine ran away from home when she was 14. She ended up in Los Angeles, and was totally blackmailed by woman who told her that while she was drunk at a party, she had killed a man. In order to avoid arrest and trial, my friend was forced (coerced) into the Porn industry, and did it for 8 years, until she finally figured it out she had nothing to do with the guy's death!

But I must say, generally speaking, men and women in Porn are there for the $$$, and are having a great time doing what they do best!

A quick note about Bella Donna: As we all know, these "news" programs that interview folks leave a lot to be desired! How many people have we heard of who have viewed a "show" after having given an interview, only to be totally disgusted to find what they had said had been edited to make it look like they had said or meant something else?!!

I feel bad for Bella Donna, as she didn't know how vicious they can be. I go along with what Wendy (Wendy McElroy) said at the end of the article, but only after adding those two critical words, "Generally speaking" to the beginning of her comment. It's just that we must remember there are those who, for whatever reason, didn 't want or mean to be where they found themselves.

Now, "Who Is Uglier?" Wow! You sure did hit the ole' nail-on-the-head with your "thoughts" on this one! Your comments make me love you all the more, no need to say more.

And about "Adult SPAM", although your comments here are accurate, don't forget that these spammers are raking in the $$$. Someone "out there" IS doing business with them even after being lied to up front. These so-called customers are nothing more than scumbags and freaks (again)! They come from all walks of life, and they could not care less that they were lied to. "Just bring on the trash" is all they can think about. Spamming would not be such a big problem if there wasn't $$$ in it somewhere. Well, once again, it's a real pleasure writing to you. My pulse always speeds up when I'm involved in an e-mail like this one to you. Thanks for being so very, very exciting and such a wonderful person.

Sincerely,

Bazil

Lisa's Reply-

Hi Bazil,

Wow, when I asked for feedback you really blew me away! I was certainly not expecting anyone to take time to comment on all the articles in the newsletter. Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback! A few thoughts popped up in my head while reading your eMail so I will touch briefly on them.

Your Brother The Fox Hunter-

I think your brother is afraid of true intimacy and is looking for what he has in his mind as the "perfect woman" on the surface. Keeping his expectations surface keeps him from having to look at himself and what he has to offer women. Even if he finds a "fox" who has not been sexually active or not much he will most likely attract what he is looking for because in life "like always attracts like." If he is surface in what he is looking for, then that is what he will find... surface results.

Unfortunately many people who are not introspective tend to blame others for their own core issues and most likely your brother will have a hard time seeing why he always finds the "wrong" partners who are never good enough for him. People often blame others for what they have unresolved inside themselves. It is when they can take responsibility for what causes them to be constantly disappointed in others (which is something inside them) that they can truly find peace. Until then, your brother will most likely always find some fault within his search for perfect foxes.

Bella Donna-

I know what you mean about interviews. As a writer myself, I read the newspaper and watch shows with a special awareness of what they are really trying to get across. Often times journalists and other "news media" are very manipulative in what they are trying to convey. If you look at political agendas and consider that many of the rich, political figures in the country own the major media companies it is not hard to see how powerful their own agenda is with little regard for the truth.

Adult Spam-

Yes, there are a lot of people making money off of spam, because as annoying as it is to most consumers, many are intrigued and get sucked in. I have been asked several times to sell our eMail lists to other companies and offered a lot of money to do it. I also know if I wanted to spam people and buy lists of eMails that it is really easy and a highly profitable thing to do. Problem is with both of those ideas is that I really prefer having integrity than I do with having money in the bank. I will never compromise my principles and ethics for a buck and I think that is why our customers are so loyal to us... because they know that the person running it (me) cares about them. My goal is to set the bar at what a company should be to it's customers. I want to show people that money isn't everything... making the world a better place is.

Freaks-

Yes, there are a lot of "freaks" in this world. On some days when I am low on compassion and struggling I draw similar conclusions. However, they are brief as having been a therapist and having many people sit in my office that may be considered a "freak" to most, I have found one common truth about all people. No matter how many bad choices you make in your life the core of each person's needs are the same... to be loved, respected, forgiven, and understood.

I remember having a discussion with someone a few years back. We saw a homeless man on the street, and as it was my birthday, I wanted to give back to the world as a way to honor myself. I gave him twenty dollars and bought him lunch. My friend said to me that it was a waste as most likely the homeless guy was going to go use it for drugs or booze and not do anything good with the money. I smiled and said that I was not looking for him to do the right thing, after all I am not responsible for his behavior. I wanted to do the right thing for me... something that would honor me and make me feel good about my behavior. After all, isn't that what all of us our responsible for?

To help others when we can is a wonderful way to honor ourselves... what they do with that help is up to them. It's easy to become apathetic about people because if you keep your heart open to see the beauty in ALL people you risk being hurt and let down. Yet, what other choice do we have... to close our hearts and feel nothing? I chose to take the risk in believing in others because ultimately when I don't, I am the one who suffers. That is just my philosophy on it and I thought to share it.

Thanks again for all of your time and insight!

Love & Light,
Lisa

Bazil's Reply-

First of all, I can't believe you had (or took) the time to compliment what I wrote to you the other day. When I say "compliment", I mean all the way down the list you are right with me; straight as an arrow on each detail. My brother is exactly as you described. I can surely tell you've had a lot of experience in that area within your therapy arena. (I'm not trying to be funny - I just can't seem to find the right words this AM!!)

What I'm trying to say is that I could write volumes on his inconsistent behavior when it comes to his dating patterns and techniques. To me, finding the perfect girl or date was simply a matter of looking for a smile, a good character, a good heart, a good sense of humor, or even just a certain wit! I love people who are astute about living life to its fullest. Good looks or cuteness or foxiness just were never a priority of mine. Some of the girls I dated were downright ugly! And some of them had the best overall outlook on life, and I learned a lot from them. In fact, (please don't take this wrong) most of the more foxy chicks turn out to be real snobs!! With you, Lisa, being as beautiful and exciting as they come, I find it impossible to find a snobbish bone in you - as well as I do (or don't) know you. And that puts you into a minority on that subject.

I learned a lot about you in your "Adult Spam" section of your note to me. What a very special person you are. Another great example of being in a minority category! I mean, to "really prefer having integrity" over "having money in the bank"? You know as well as I do, people like that are hard to find these days.

Oh, I really didn't mean to write you another "book", but it's turning out that way - sorry! I just want to touch on one last aspect of your precious e-mail to me; that of the homeless man.

My own experience with this is worth mentioning. It's not so much about being homeless, desperate comes to mind. I was fueling my vehicle late one night a few years ago, and at that time my favorite comment to the many solicitors asking for change was, "Hey when you see me driving a Mercedez, then any change I have in my pocket will be "extra" change!" (Talk about being a snob!!) Well, this one guy approached me and if he didn't give me one of the oldest "lines" in the books - "My car is out of gas down on the freeway. My wife and baby are there alone waiting for me, and I need some change for gas."

Oh man! I was so put off by this guy that I didn't even respond with my usual Mercedes comment! Instead, I decided to really drive it to this guy! I said, "Okay, I'll take you back to your car and make sure your wife and baby are all right. Then I'll help you get gas." I "knew" full-well that this guy would just walk away since his "story" was bogus anyway!

But as I was still fueling my car, he jumped in the front seat and was waiting for me to finish at the pump! What???!! I was totally in shock! What was he planning to do when we got to the freeway and there wasn't a car there? Knowing there's a Highway Patrol office right there in the vicinity, I decided I was safe in playing along with this guys charade and we drove off toward the freeway. This guy sure seemed like he was on the level.

As we drove onto the freeway, sure enough, there was a car sitting about 3 blocks ahead of us off on the side. As I pulled up behind it, sure enough (again!) there was a woman and a small child in the car. I was totally flabbergasted!! It was a BMW, and this poor guy had lost his wallet at a truck stop some 60 miles previous to realizing it! Now with some 100 miles yet to go ahead of him, he had no way of paying for the needed gas to get home. I was so touched that he was indeed telling the truth the whole time, and feeling guilty that I hadn't believed him (and why should I have???) that I filled his tank to the brim and told him it was on me!

He asked for an address to send me $$$ in repayment, but I simply told him that repayment would be better served with his helping someone else another day who really needed it. Needless to say, my attitude has changed 180 degrees, and I now feel a whole lot closer to the way you were speaking of in your letter.

Even to this day, I shutter to think what kind of a person I would have been to this guy, had I given him my run-of-the-mill response! Not to mention what might have happened to his family had he not been able to find someone to help him in a timely manner, and some thug or gang got a hold of them.! It just changed my entire perspective to say the least!

Thanks again - so much - for getting back to me and making my whole day! I love your philosophy, and am so glad you shared it with me.

Oh yeah, just a quick question here: I like your salutation, "Love and Light". Is that a religious reference or fad of some sort? I don't mean to be insensitive, but I have never heard it before put like that, and I like it a lot! I was just wondering what it meant, and where it comes from? Thanks again for taking your valuable time with this "book"!

Tons of love,

Bazil

Love & Light

It is not a religious statement or a fad; just something that I see as a nice way to end a letter. Of course love and light are the same thing really. However, I see "light" as being linked more to wisdom by most people, kind of like "enlightenment" and thus that is why I use the phrase.

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Hi Lisa,

Thought I would send you an email in regards to your brilliant DVD on the art of Female Masturbation. This DVD plus the Hitachi Magic wand that my hubby purchased from you a few months back, have really changed my mind on orgasms. I thought that I was having good orgasms until we watched your DVD and now find out what I have been missing out on all these years.

My name is DEB, I'm 46 years old and am experiencing the best and most explosive orgasms ever. If you don't mind ,I would like to tell you of our last sexual encounter I had with my husband ROB. He is a thoughtful husband by making sure that our fore play and my satisfaction is his ultimate goal. We recently ventured to the bedroom after having a glass of wine which relaxes me and gets me in a good mood.

We started kissing and touching each other and then whilst stood up and leaning with my arms on the bed rob began to masturbate me with his fingers,rubbing his fingers so seductively against my GSPOT and CLIT that I was getting that feeling that you explained about, which is the feeling that I wanted to pee. Then without warning I pushed down from inside and the next thing I am squirting all over his hand and floor .The rush and the feeling of great relies as I pushed the liquid orgasmic juices out through my vagina was just mind blowing and numbing and not to forget robs reaction and words of encouragement for me to bear down,push and relies all those pent up and explosive juices out. His words of encouragement kept me squirting for a number of seconds. JUST AWESOME

We then lay down on the bed and began to use what I can only describe as the best vibrator that I have ever used, that being the Magic Wand. Along with, once again being finger masturbated and me using the vibrator on myself, rob made sure that after bringing me to many peaks that I had yet another orgasm that ripped through me from head to toe and lasted for a good 30 seconds. I hope that may be you could use my experience in your news letter/ readers forum to let others know of the awesome feelings of female ejaculation and what it can do for their sex lives. Being from Australia, Rob is saving up for 2 more DVDs that you have and also your Art of Female Ejaculation book. Once again many thanks for your brilliant DVD,we have learnt a lot together. You are never to old to learn.

All our love,
DEB & ROB

I enjoy your wisdom of sexuality, I would like to comment on the "When Is A Woman Damaged Goods" article as this to me is a male making excuses for his on insecurities about sex. This type of male has insecurities about how to satisfy a woman in bed. He's probably a man that is not able to make a woman have orgasm , so he's critical and choosey, and usually he looks for inexperienced women to have sex with. Because they aren't even sure what real sexual satisfaction from a man really is, and therefore the man feels in control, so, his ego can shine or so he thinks.

Being a man, I consider men who classify women as slutty or damaged is basically a weak, insecure, scared, and a hell of a sorry lover, and probably a prime candidate for a relationship that future holds a 99% chance of infidelity pointed directly at him because of his lack of sexual performance.

If men would concentrate more on skills of trying to satisfy their choice of sexual partners, and get their mind set to never leave their partners unsatisfied, no matter how long it takes, they might find it much more of a ego boost, especially if the train themselves to love female ejaculation as I have, that to me is the most beautiful experience in the world not to mention the best feeling to have made your partner comfortable enough to have multiple ejaculations.

For me, it cures any insecurities about my sexual self. It made me able to not have problems with my stamina as I begin to focus solely on making these multiple ejaculations first priority and holding my own to the every end, I have full confidence in my abilities to satisfy in the bedroom.

My point is, men who choose the pure, and demand it as their choice are insecure and have little knowledge about satisfying women, weak minded men are to me all talk and no do, roll on roll off type men, if they choose this insecurity to be their way, then I say let them classify women as whores, sluts , or used goods, because that will give them exactly what they deserve, which will be a dysfunctional sex life. They will have to satisfy themselves on a toilet seat in a strip club somewhere, because taking a stripper home would be out of the question, because, he classifies her as "damaged" yet, he dreams of it on the toilet seat, and empties his wallet to create this secret dream.

That's my thoughts on that subject, for me personally the experienced woman is my choice, so I'll take the damaged or the so called "used-up" much more useful than used... last word or my closing comment, that's a damn shame.

Thank you,

Dudley

BY THE WAY PLEASE KEEP SHARING YOUR WISDOM I NEED IT KEEPS MY MOTOR CLEAN.

Hello Lisa,

I wanted to pass along a few comments regarding some of your recent articles, as well as relate to many of the things that you discuss on your site. There is much that can be gained through the education of others, and especially in a loving and peaceful manner. All things follow a pattern of life, and for those who are able to help others live within that pattern they are rewarded accordingly.

Because sex is a gateway - part of the inner door, it becomes very important in spiritual matters. Most people misuse or abuse this gateway and as a result suffer those consequences that are a result of this misuse. It is difficult to blame people for ignorance, yet that does not mean that there are not negative consequences for misuse of such knowledge.

I recognize that most people are doing the best that they can - it is difficult to try to make change, especially on an internal level. There are those of us here who are sent to help assist others by giving them hope, encouragement and the light within our lives to help guide them on their way. There is the Way to life, and it is a narrow path, difficult to find and walk. Yet no one is alone in their struggle, no matter whatever encounters bear down upon them, there is always a place to go for encouragement and a path to follow that leads to life.

Having read a number of your articles for the past several months, and letters and how you respond to them, it is apparent to me that you are of a higher, more enlightened mindset. But I would expect more of women than men in our culture as it is, since women reside on a higher spiritual vibration than men. Both men and women have their own roles to fill in the pattern of life, and although they can be considered equals, it does not make them the same.

Each contains a part that the other is missing, and in a true spiritual marriage each compliments the other through their own realm of influence by developing those qualities that the other lacks.

Taking on a more motherly role to an audience that may be disillusioned, or have rejected the bastardization of the sexual roles in our culture, you are in a position to give to others a level of peace and light that they are likely seeking from within. And although you may be criticized for your efforts, you are just another piece that is part of the divine plan in giving witness to others that there is a much deeper connection to life other than what appears on the surface.

In a divine relationship the woman plays a part in raising up to the man the spiritual (sexual) energy that is received and returns it to him at a higher vibrational level that is a result of her being. In turn when the man is able to accept this level it allows for transformation to occur within the spiritual union. Most women do not use their given natural abilities and instead have allowed society and modern feminization to limit their own natural abilities by attempting to make them into surrogate men.

Yet men are no less to blame, for their perpetual ignorance of women and by virtue of failing to develop with a spiritual wife. The opportunity that you are providing both men and women by encouraging the spiritual union - which although is much a taboo topic in various religious circles, is more religious than the dogmatic traditional that limit men and women. It is in the true spiritual union that growth can be achieved, and the mechanism for doing so is through the exchange of fluids during sexual union.

In the role that you have, you are empowering women to learn about themselves and their bodies, in order to dwell in that aspect of the pattern that can truly make change - from the inner elements that in turn affect all of our outer being. When women properly use the divine nature of sex for proper a spiritual lifestyle, then much change can be made.

But this does not excuse the men from not listening to women except when they want sex. Both will need to grow and change in order to overcome the obstacles that are in front of them - each filling their own role in the part that they play.

The sacredness of sex is something that should be taught to both men and women so that they do not continue in their ongoing cycles of perpetual karmic revolution. But in order to do so, just as in a relationship with a man, changes must be made over time and reinforced through positive results. Thus the information that you provide people is a good stepping stone, and although there is much more that could be said on several of the topics, if it becomes too much truth for what they are willing to live, they will reject the message of what you have to say.

The Holistic approach is the best - body, mind and soul to have the pattern of life dwell within everything that you say, think, and do. In this I commend your efforts and encourage you to continue providing others with a path that they may find will lead to the most out of their lives.

Peace, Love, and Light in TheWay,

Emmanuel

Joke From One Of Our Readers-

Early one morning, I received a call from my Gynecologist's office telling me that I had been rescheduled for earlier that morning. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning haven't we?"....I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal.....some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles in it."

Dear Lisa,

Any woman who has learned the fine art of lovemaking and has "cum" to enjoy and rejoice in the sheer pleasure of it all, is as admired by me as Mother Theresa. Both of these women are examples of the fullness of the female as intended by our Creator. And yes, they may have chosen different avenues in which to express that fullness, but whether a woman be a sexpert or saint, she is entitled to be all she can become.

I am enviable and in awe of women who have a naturalness and freedom about their bodies and a confidence that comes from being honest about sexual desires and their fulfillment. These women encourage more timid women to go for the gusto of life and love. The only reason someone would degrade sexually satisfied women is this: THAT PERSON IS A SELFISH, COWARDLY, UNLOVING HUMAN WHO IS INCAPABLE OF APPRECIATING THE AMAZING AND UNLIMITED ABILITIES OF THE FEMALE.

The days of putting women in a sexual shoebox are OVER!! "Good" girls do want and enjoy sex and can go on to be wonderful wives and mothers. The key is to stay balanced. Sexual addiction is no more desirable than sexual repression. Healthy sexual attitudes result in complete women who live sensual, sensible, satisfying lives. AMEN!

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking . . surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story which could be true . . .

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago.

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with a deeply-lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1971. Why?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"

I want to take this opportunity to tell you that your E-book has really spice up the sex life with my wife and I. We had an awesome sex life but it became better, believe it or not. Thank you!

GPS Tracking For Sex Offenders

Nashville, Tennessee will begin tracking sex offenders using GPS tracking through a pilot program. It will be able to determine whether an offender has strayed into a restricted zone such as a school yard or playground. If the pilot program is found to be successful, it will be used statewide.

This technology has been used in in several other states originating in Florida in the late 1990's. There are two types of monitoring devices:

Passive-
The passive ones require the wearer to download the information at the end of the day.

Active-
The active ones provide real-time monitoring of the person's whereabouts; they are more expensive and generally are used in other states on more violent or aggressive offenders.

At $4 to $10 per day, depending upon how closely the parolee's activities are being monitored, the devices are considerably cheaper than prison, which in Tennessee averages about $45 per day for most sex offenders.

Noisy Sex In Stockholm-

In Sweden a woman has filed a complaint about her neighbors loud sexual adventures. The woman said she was ``distressed, angry and tense all over'' because her neighbors make love loudly almost nightly. The zesty sessions begin around 10 p.m. and last sometimes to 1 a.m. Her landlord is further investigating the matter.

Diplomat's Husband Sues Strip Club For $130,000

A high-end Manhattan topless club allegedly added bogus charges to his bill. Tauhidul Chaudhury, husband of a consular official at the Bangladesh Mission to the United Nations, is the second customer in two weeks to claim he was stripped of thousands of dollars at Scores.

Chaudhury claims even after he became ``obviously intoxicated'' at the club on Oct. 23, 2003, staffers continued plying him with drinks and ``took advantage of his intoxicated state.'' His bill for the night came to $129,626, which Scores charged on four of Chaudhury's credit cards, according to his lawsuit in Manhattan's state Supreme Court. The club's spokesman denied the accusation, saying Blaser, 54, was spending ``like a rock star'' and the club's paperwork proves it.

Lesbians Mothers Are Growing In Numbers In U.S.

Lesbian women have been steadily increasing in their numbers as they become mothers. Using artificial insemination to get pregnant, lesbians are four times more likely to have children than gay men.

Unlike heterosexual married couples, lesbians often have to draw up complicated wills and directives to protect their families should one partner die or the relationship end.

Studies show lesbian parents are doing a good job. "Absolutely, these kids do fine," said Dr. Nanette Gartrell, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, who is in the 18th year of a study on lesbian families created by donor insemination.

Sometimes the children themselves put the whole controversy into perspective. Gelnaw said her son Zack decided on his own to stop giving interviews by the age of 12. "Time magazine wanted to talk with him. He usually enjoyed doing the interviews, but we discussed it and he said 'No, I don't want to do it. I'm just a kid with parents, there is nothing to talk about'."

Also See- Homosexual: Lesbian & Gay Marriage

Free Porn To Employees

A Danish company has begun giving it's staff free subscriptions to Internet pornography sites. The company's director, Levi Nielsen, believes access to porn is a natural fringe benefit, like a free phone or a company car. "We know that 80% of all hits on the Internet are on porn sites. And we can see that people also surf porn pages during work." Nielsen hopes the move will make his staff more relaxed and more efficient on the job.

Call The
Condom Ambulance!

While in the throws of passion many people are horrified when they discover they are out of condoms. Sweden is trying to solve this problem that often leads to STDs and unwanted pregnancies by providing a Condom Ambulance.

If you are in Stockholm, Malmo or Gothenberg, Sweden simply call 696969 and a white van will deliver 10 condoms. The condom ambulance is sponsored by the Swedish Organization for Sex Education. Carl Osvald of the OSE said, "We need to increase the usage of condoms. It is 50% about pregnancy and 50% about sexually transmitted diseases."

Man Kills Himself After Having Sex With A Hen

A 50-year-old Zambian man hung himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen. His wife caught him in the act when she went into their house to investigate a strange noise. "He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said. The man killed himself after villagers of his town ostracized him for the incident. As for the poor hen, it was slaughtered after having been raped!

Sex = Happy

A study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research proves that sexual activity plays a significant role in people's happiness. Some of the report findings are as follows-

~ The median number of times for intercourse is 2-3 times a month

~ Almost 50% of women and 20% of men over the age of 40 didn't have sex in
    the previous year

~ 80% of women and 70% of men under the age of 40 had no more than one
   sexual partner in the previous year

~ Sex makes highly educated people happier than it does people with low levels
    of education

~ Married people have more sex than single, divorced, widowed, or
   separated people.

Extramarital Sex Can Kill You

First Japanese researchers and now German researchers have confirmed it. More men die during sex with lovers or prostitutes than die having sex with their wives. Researchers at Frankfurt's Centre for Forensic Medicine examined 30,000 post-mortem reports covering a period of 30 years. They found 60 cases where men died while having sex. Of those, 75% were in the arms of a lover or prostitute when they died.

Late-term Abortion Ban Declared Unconstitutional

U.S. District Judge Phyllis Hamilton ruled that the so-called Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act is unconstitutional because it infringes on a woman's right to choose. The law was the first federal legislation placing limitations on abortion. Challenges to the law have also been made in Federal courts in New York and Nebraska, but the courts haven't yet ruled on them.

Divorces Most Initiated By Women

Women ask for a divorce about 67% of the time according to a study, entitled
"The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond," by the AARP.

The study found -

~ Over 25% of the husbands "never saw it coming."

~ 14% of wives were asked for divorce by their husbands were surprised

~ 58% of husbands and only 37% of wives postponed divorcing for 5 years
   or more because of the children

~ Women who filed for divorce most often cited physical or emotional abuse,
    infidelity, or drug and alcohol abuse.

~ Men who filed for divorce did so because they fell out of love, had different values,
   or because of infidelity.

~ 70% of those who initiated the divorce were sure they did the right thing afterward

~ Over 75% of divorced people in their 50s found new partners, often within 2 years

~ 50% of those who remarried have sex at least once a week.

~ 75% of divorced-but-not remarried women and 50% of divorced-but-not-remarried    men never have sex.