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Home » Sexual Resources » Sex Articles Oral Sex: Cunnilingus How To Go Down on Her The Art of Oral Sex on a Woman Giving great oral sex means knowing your partner's likes and dislikes which is made much easier through communication. This may seem like an awkward thing to discuss, but done in the right way, it can simply turn into talking dirty to one another and make things even hotter. Saying things like "I love when you flick your tongue like that," or "I love the way you feel in my mouth, do you like when I do this... or this... baby?" can make things hotter as well as informative.

By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D. Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert CEO & Founder of Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

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Preparation For Oral Sex Taking a moment to clean up before oral sex is always a good idea as it can prevent Urinary Tract Infections and make things more carefree once done. The following are some quick tips on how to go about doing this- Clean Your Hands You will want to wash hands well to make sure that you do not introduce harmful bacteria into the vagina or introduce it into the urethra. This applies to both the giver and receiver as often women will play with themselves while receiving oral stimulation and they too should have clean hands. Avoiding A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) Unfortunately, there can be some negative side affects to making contact with the urethra. The urethra is sensitive and is easily irritated. It is fairly easy to expose the urethra to bacteria that is harmful and thus often results in a UTI. The activity that can cause a UTI can be sexual or non sexual. Any sexual activity that makes contact with the urethra whether it is from fingers, a sex toy, the mouth, the penis, etc. can result in painful urination and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation. Taking precautions such as washing whatever is going to come into contact with the urethra beforehand may assist in preventing such an infection. If an infection occurs it is easily treated with antibiotics. If left untreated the infection can become more serious and spread into the kidneys. Shorten Finger Nails Trim fingernails before going down as using fingers is common and this is done, so as to not cause pain or tears. Atmosphere Creating a relaxing atmosphere can also include doing some sensual foreplay. Get into the mood doing such activities as: massage, using sweet or spiced body lotions or oils, soft kissing, a bubble bath, and many other creative ventures.

Cleaning Your Anus
While you may not be thinking about it now, women who are going to receive cunnilingus should clean their anus as well as the vaginal opening. This is because the vagina and anus are extremely close together and sexual activity can easily bring harmful bacteria to enter the urethra causing an infection.

Try to clean your anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water before any anal activities. A great alternative are baby wipes, in fact, a strippers technique, many people use them instead of toilet paper for clean up after any bowel movement.

Psychological Issues For A Woman

There are many women who love the beauty of their vaginas from the way they look to the way the smell, however many women also feel negatively about their "love flowers."

If you are with a woman and planning on performing oral sex on her she may need reassurance that her genitals are beautiful, unique and a real turn on for you. Sex will be more pleasurable for her if she is relaxed and feels you are turned on by what you are doing.

For those of you receiving a lapping of your labia, let me assure you that all women get self conscious of their vaginal area once in a while. Just like men worry about how big their penis is; women worry about how tight they are. We also worry about whether our partner would prefer us shaved or au natural and finally the biggest concern for most women is the smell factor.

Now, there are many who would like to assure you that you should just accept when you aren't your freshest and so should your partner, but honey, I can assure you that washing up before hand if you are experiencing bad odor will make the experience better for all involved. If it is really bad and has been going on for a few weeks even after washing you may have an infection and it is time for a trip to your OBGYN.

ALL women's vaginal scent will change during different times of the month... it is normal and natural. However, if your arm pit was having an "off" day you would use some common sense and shower using soap and maybe even use some deodorant. Same applies to your downstairs "girl flower." Avoid the use of feminine deodorant sprays and other perfumed products if they irritate and dry your skin.

 

Psychological Issues For A Man

There are in some cultures a stigma that men who perform oral sex on a woman are less macho for doing so. My advice... get over it. There is nothing about a man going down on a woman that makes him less masculine... in fact most women will tell you that we find that VERY sexy.

The other issues for men is that they are concerned about performance) which hopefully this article will assist with) and again... the infamous smell factor. This is no different than a woman going down on a man who had not kept his hygiene up and gets a strong whiff of "ball rot." We all need to to take care of ourselves and for those men who find themselves with a woman who isn't... try taking an erotic shower with her, where you wash her as part of the foreplay. Either that or have her read an article like this one so she can begin to think about that factor for you!

A question I get asked often is about female ejaculation and whether or not it is safe to consume. The answer to that is yes, it is safe as long as you recognize that the risk factors for STDs is the same as your ejaculate so if practicing safe sex is of concern, please take that into consideration and use a dental dam.

Negative Attitude-

Imagine your woman lying on the bed. You pull her panties down as though you are trying to just get down to business. You open your mouth and begin methodically licking, going up and down with no variation, no passion and secretly, you just can't wait for this to be done. Then when she does orgasm, you demand your turn or get on with the mandatory cuddling you feel you have to do to appease her.

Positive Attitude-

Imagine your woman lying on the bed. You come in slowly from her ankles smiling at her while keeping eye contact. You teasingly strip the clothes off her entire body looking her over as though you can hardly contain yourself, while licking and rubbing her everywhere you touch. You slide your body against her, then downward now so your genitals are positioned over her knee while you toy with her inner thigh and pubic area. You run your fingers through her pubic hair and over her mound. Slowly you lick the outer lips of her vagina softly while gazing into her eyes showing your desire. Pulling her lips softly apart with your fingers you take some warming, flavored lubricant and run it up and down her opening and over her clit like pouring hot chocolate syrup onto a sundae you are about to devour. Licking her inner lips lightly and then sucking softly on them you move your finger up and down her now slickened pussy and use the other hand to keep her lips spread open as you slide your tongue deeper and deeper into her. You progress to teasing her clit with your tongue while you grind your genitals against her leg and finger her g-spot. Then after a variety of tantalizing techniques you eagerly await her orgasm letting her cum moisten your lips and face.

Are you seeing a difference here? Even if you decide to give a "Quickie," your attitude will allow you to be the best she's ever had. Women, just like men, want to feel desired, so to make her feel like orally pleasuring her is repulsive to you is certainly a "blow" to her ego. Show her that you desire her no matter what sexual activity you do and you will really make it fantastic.

 

Safe Oral Sex

There is a wide range of STDs you can get from sexual activity. At present there is some debate about genital warts developing in the digestive track and there is always the fear of HIV/AIDS infection. Always think…SAFE SEX.

Dental dams are often used in sexual situations to prevent sexually transmitted disease for cunnilingus (oral contact with female genitals) and analingus (oral/anal contact). They are six-inch squares of latex and were first used by oral surgeons. This is the best protection to prevent genital herpes infecting your lips, or a systemic yeast infection.

Dental dams are used by those who want to practice safer sex techniques by placing them between your tongue and your lovers labia or anus. For those of you who are too embarrassed to purchase one on-line or in a store, you can always purchase a latex glove and make your own.

 

Oral Sex Techniques First we are going to cover the general aspects of cunnilingus (oral sex on a female) and then we will muff dive into specifics. To begin, the picture to the right is of the outside of the vagina. Often those performing oral sex ignore the outter lips and forget that licking them, massaging them or both can be a great way to stimulate and ready her for the sexual adventure about to unfold. Using your tongue, fingers, face and sex toys are all ways to begin playing with her beautiful oyster of love. Use Your Words To Seduce These are the moments when you really can feel some tension if there is going to be any... a good way to break the ice before you open her up to play is to tell her how good she looks, smells and tastes.

 

Let Her Show You

Learn What She Prefers Clitorally

When a woman uses a clitoral vibrator (the tool we recommend to give any woman an orgasm quickly) she will often move it around in the beginning to get herself worked up and then hold it in the same place for intensity when she is ready to orgasm.

All women are different as to what they enjoy the best from how long they like it to what side of the clitoris they prefer you stimulate so a great way to learn what she likes beyond her telling you, is to have her use a small vibrator in front of you (like the Waterdancer) and see what her tendencies are when it comes to pleasure.

Learn What She Prefers Vaginally

When a woman uses a dildo (vibrating, rotating, or still) she can show you if she likes fast, slow, varied thrusting, and if she wants to feel stretched or simply have a lot of pressure against her g-spot. These things are a great way to learn what she will like from your tongue, finger, penis or sex toy for later play.

I suggest this exercise of observation as she may not even be aware of what she is doing to get off... she may just know what feels good and not know how to verbalize it!

 

It Does Not Have To Be All Oral

Those that get caught up in the need to do things text book style may miss out on the creativity of sexuality. Just as one should not simply use only their mouth when giving oral sex to a man (Fellatio) a partner giving cunnilingus should not feel that once they begin licking they have to stay the course until she orgasms.

For those of you who know, doing anything orally can be exhausting. Having a plan to use your hands, another body part or a sex toy is a great way to give your tired mouth and jaw a break until you resume or an opportunity to move into something completely different!

 

The Clitoral Orgasm

This orgasm occurs at the peak of clitoral stimulation. It begins with intense sexual excitement within the clit and then as the orgasm peaks it surges waves of pleasure throughout the body.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body and sexual arousal is always felt in the clitoris no matter where the orgasm takes place. It is usually that the sexual arousal first originates in the clit, and is considered an orgasmic starting point.

What Is The Clitoris And Where Is It?

The clitoris is abundantly supplied with nerves. The part of the clitoris that you see is actually much like the head of a man's penis, and as a man has a shaft to his penis, a woman has a shaft to her clitoris. The shaft is located above the hood, and is more easily felt when a woman is aroused as it become more rigid as it fills with blood.

What Does It Feel Like?

Clitoral orgasms can be very intense, but may not be as "deep" as others. These orgasms are no doubt very, very pleasurable and helpful in achieving female ejaculation. Stimulating the clitoris can be a very good place to start when trying to achieve female ejaculation, after providing stimulation to the g-spot.

A Reminder- Remember that after an orgasm the clit can retract, and becomes highly sensitive to any further stimulation, often to the point of being painful.

Fingering The Clitoris While Licking It

A woman's lover will want to respect that the clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Rough rubbing or licking directly on it (especially with rough skin or too much vigor) is not usually the ideal. Another area that is often misunderstood, is that most women want to have constant, repetitive motion to one or both sides of her clit. Many women have a favorite side, so it is always good to ask which side your baby likes, or if you are the receiver of such divine fun, to tell your lover. Communication is always key during GOOD sex.

Variation of speed and moving all around the clit is not often preferred. Most women need a constant, repetitive, stimulation with little to no variation just as a vibrator would offer. That is one reason why women love those beautiful toys so much and why they are great to use on her clit while you orally stimulate her vaginal lips and inside!

Pulling back the hood-

This is going to depend on a woman's clitoral sensitivity and how aroused she is. The more aroused a woman is, the more she may want or not want her clitoris directly stimulated.

For those woman who are particularly sensitive, pulling back the hood and receiving direct clitoral stimulation is not going to be a pleasurable experience.

If a woman likes her hood pulled back, the best way to do so is by spreading her lips apart, or pulling up on the mons.

Range Of Motion-

When women masturbate, they often rotate around their clit in a circular motion, while other women prefer a side-to-side or up and down motion. Another technique is rolling the clitoris with the thumb and pointer finger. This should be done gently.

 

The G-Spot Orgasm

Most women describe this type of orgasm as an intense, deeply sensual pressure that builds until it feels like the entire vaginal explodes with ecstasy and is usually followed by euphoric energy that spreads throughout entire body. This orgasm, like the vaginal orgasm can release an emotional response as it provides women with a sense of being penetrated more than just physically, but also in a more emotionally vulnerable sense.

Spread the labia, touch the clitoris very gently. You can feel it become erect and lubrication will be noticeable. You can also stroke around the vaginal opening and very gently penetrate the vagina with your fingers, making sure that this is pleasurable for her. For oral contact, licking, sucking, kissing and gently blowing on the clitoris is pleasurable. Just remember, be very gentle. At the same time you may wish to stroke around the vaginal opening, mimicking thrusting of the penis. You may wish to use a vibrator or dildo around the vagina or anal area. Talk to your partner. Many females will reach orgasm with oral genital sexual contact. To be most effective, check with her so you know what really is pleasurable and satisfying.

You may also want to note that women can have much longer orgasms than men and can experience waves of orgasms that last several minutes. Let her enjoy herself and continue to stimulate her until she lets you know you can stop.

 

Tracing The Alphabet?

Flavored Lubricants & Condiments

 

Oral Sex On A Woman With Anal Stimulation

Also known as "Analingus," it is the act of licking or inserting the tongue into the anus to provide pleasure. Both men and women enjoy analingus and you can use some of the same techniques on each.

Positioning where the receiver's butt cheeks are naturally spread such as kneeling on all fours (doggie style) with their legs spread apart, or on their back with their legs up in the air (again, legs spread apart) makes the anus easier to access.

Bacteria

The entire anal region has a variety of bacteria inside and just outside it. You will want to be careful to avoid getting that bacteria into other orifices of your body to prevent infection. When you choose to give someone a "Rim Job" or lick their anus you may risk getting sick from bacteria present. You may want to use a finger or toy with lubricant for a similar effect without the risk.

It's not a good idea to perform oral sex or kiss after analingus, as bacteria from the anus can wreak havoc on other parts of the body. Make sure to clean your mouth thoroughly afterward by brushing your teeth and tongue and using Listerine.

In a woman, the nerve centers of the vagina and the anus share several common walls and paths. When stimulated together, women can experience enhanced pleasure and extremely intense orgasms. Thus, double penetration (simultaneous insertion into the anus and vagina) can be an amazing sexual experience for a woman.

Women also enjoy exclusive anal stimulation, both around the rim of the anus and through insertion and penetration. Some women like to have a finger gently inserted into their anus. If she doesn't like it, don't do it.

Using a sex toy such as a g-spot stimulator, dildo or anal beads can be exciting to a woman. While anal sex is not something all women enjoy, women can have anal orgasms and even female ejaculate while having one.

Many women enjoy rimming, and penetration, so the use of the toys, finger and penis for anal stimulation are all great ways to play.

 

Venus Butterfly

VENUS BUTTERFLY is a move which came out of an old 1970's soap opera. It is oral sex on her clitoris, manual stimulation inside her vagina and, with the remaining hand, stimulation around her rectum, even penetrating the rectum if that is pleasurable for her.

 

Exploring The 69 Position

The advantages to the 69 position is that it allows a couple to simultaneous pleasure each other. However, it does present some awkward, straining positioning and thus it is a position many couples do for a short period of time.

Woman On Top

ADVANTAGES She has control because she's on top. She can move her vagina deep into her partner's mouth. You can use your fingers to explore within while you suck and lick her vagina.

DISADVANTAGES Depending on how much she weighs, she can possibly cut off the circulation. You have less control over the situation (use a pillow to keep your head propped up). She may tire quickly from having to lean on her elbows or hands. She might end up having rug burns on her knees from the friction.

 

ADVANTAGES You have a lot of control in this given position. She can venture around your body parts in ways she can't in any other position.

DISADVANTAGES You could suffocate her easily. You might strain your neck if you keep struggling to lick her deep within. Once she puts your penis in her mouth, she could have a hard time getting it out

 

Side By Side

ADVANTAGES You don't have to worry about hurting her with your weight. You can use your hand to rub the outline of her body or rub her breasts, nipples, etc. She can rub her hand down your back and massage your thighs. You can watch her pleasure you.

DISADVANTAGES Because the gravity is not pulling you into one another, it may be awkward to access one another's genitals (especially for those who are overweight, or disabled).

 

Partner Holding Woman Upside Down

ADVANTAGES This is a position reserved for smaller women and a larger partner that can support them. You can really lick and suck one another well in this position.

DISADVANTAGES Getting into this position may be awkward. The blood may rush to her head fairly quickly so it will be short and sweet. You may tire very easily as this can be quite a challenge to maintain.

Finger Stimulation

Of course there is always the popular "come here" motion that you make with your pointer finger to effectively stimulate the g-spot. Using pressure up into the g-spot is highly effective and often more desirable than just light rubbing. However, let's take a look at some more innovative fingering techniques to use with oral stimulation.

The Double Pleasure Clamp Techniques

 

Positions

There are a variety of positions that you can have fun with when performing cunnilingus Below are the most common positions that are using the Liberator Shapes™ we recommend for making such positions easier. Liberator Shapes Sexual Position Pillows Waterproof Throws 5 x 6 Feet

Varying Positions & Timing

If you normally lick her while lying flat on your stomach, try having her lie on her side, with her legs pulled up towards her chest, now lick her from behind. Most women love and respond to spontaneity. Next time she's sitting on the edge of the bed getting dressed, try making your move, or maybe as she comes out of the shower you could surprise her by kneeling before her and showing her just how amazing you really are and think she is.

 

Can Blowing Into Her Vagina Be Dangerous?

Yes, the urban legend is true, there is a very slight chance that an embolism (a gas bubble in the blood stream, which can be deadly) could occur if one were to blow extremely hard into a woman's vagina.

However, it would probably take a hefty, determined, hard, ceaseless blow into that ‘sealed’ opening to create such an impact. Imagine blowing hard into a balloon with a tiny opening, with your mouth straining. That's the kind of blowing required to even tease out the possibility of such an occurrence.

Heavy breathing is just not that kind of action. Most oral sex performed on women includes gentle stroking with the tongue, licking and sucking, but not intense blowing. Some men and women report that blowing gently into the woman's vulva region is a way to create a pleasant sensation. That's about the only way that sending air on to or into your private parts usually occurs and that type is safe.

 

How Can You Tell If She Has Had An Orgasm?

Women react differently to their orgasms, and so there are no guaranteed indicators that your partner has made it... other than those that you must learn from her. Everything listed below is qualified and must be clarified and verified with each new partner.

You will most likely feel her body begin to tense as she approaches the jumping off place. As she gets close she will probably stop talking, she is likely to either hold her breath or pant, and she will probably begin to bear down.

If you have a finger in her vagina when the orgasm is very close, you might feel the inner two thirds of her vagina suddenly balloon out (called tenting) or tighten down (called A framing). Your partner will be totally unaware of these changes deep within her vagina. There might be an increase in her lubrication.

If you have a finger or two inside her vagina when she begins to orgasm, you might be able to feel minor contractions around the opening (these will be major internal earthquakes for her). As she orgasms she might make sounds, might thrust, or might just remain motionless and quiet.