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Sex
Jokes
Fun &
Sexy
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The
Cowboy & His Last Request
A cowboy is captured by Indians and told
that he can have three requests for three days before he is killed.
On the first day the cowboy requests his horse. He whispers into
the horse's ear and the animal gallops away. The next day the
horse returns with a hot blonde. "What's your next request?" ask
the Indians. Again the cowboy asks for his horse and whispers
something into its ear. The next day the horse returns with a
redhead. This time the cowboy walks over to the horse and yells,
"Posse, I said I want my posse."
Police
Patrol
A policeman was patrolling a local parking
spot that overlooked a golf course. He drove by and noticed a
couple inside with the interior dome light on. In the driver’s
seat there was a young man reading a computer magazine, while
in the back seat was a young woman knitting. Recognizing this
as unusual, the officer walked up to the driver’s window and tapped
on the glass, asking the man his name and what exactly he was
doing.
The
man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “My name is
John and that’s my girlfriend in the back seat.”
“OK,
so what are you doing?” asked the officer.
“What does it look like?” John answered. “I’m reading a magazine.”
Pointing
towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer asked, “And
what’s she doing?” John looked over his shoulder and replied,
“What does it look like? She’s knitting, sir.”
“And
how old are you?” the officer asked John. “I’m 25,” John replied.
“And how old is she?” asked the officer. John looked at his watch
and said, “Well sir, in 12 minutes she’ll be 18.”
$400
Blow Jobs!
Sex
Joke
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed
in the living room. "Where do you think you're going?"
he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a
blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money
for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment,
goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as
well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks.
I'm coming with you, I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!"
Sex
Super Hero Style
Sex
Joke
One
day Superman is really horny and sees Wonder Woman sunbathing
on a beach naked! He gets an idea... "They've always said I'm
faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd
be like with all her powers. So he zooms down and does her in
a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden
Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the was that!?!" Then the
Invisible Man gets off her and replies, "I don't know but it hurt
like hell!"
Her
Asshole
Sex
Joke
A
Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions"
to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not
the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the
mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and
said, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having
an orgasm?" She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."
The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.
The
Chicken Farmer
Sex
Joke
A
woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she
needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin,
I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address,
social security number, etc. and then asks, "what is your occupation?"
"I'm a whore," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken back
and says, "No, No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase
that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl." "No, that
still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then
the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant
asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year." "Chicken
farmer it is".
What
Dreams May Cum
Sex
Joke
Three
guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they
have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the
right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting
a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's
had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and
says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
An
Hour
Sex
Joke
The
Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her
students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult
times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask
yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime
of shame?" A young woman rose in the back of the room and said,
"Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
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Holistic Wisdom Corporation