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Sexual Empowerment           Where Are We Going? I am sad to say that while we have advanced a great deal in sex education, we still have a long way to go. Thus, it gives me a great sense of purpose in being a sex educator as it is something that is sorely needed.

Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., C.E.O. HolisticWisdom.com Founder

You may be surprised at just how many basic questions about sexuality we receive every day. I am left feeling glad to be of service, and yet, frustrated that in this day and age we are still not talking about sexuality the way we need to in order to have a healthy sexual culture.

It seems that as a culture we are inundated with one "in your face" look at sex after another; yet it is often presented in such a surface manner. This often leaves viewers turned on, but uneducated when it comes to their own body as well as their partner(s). Hot men and women in sexy scenes appear on commercials, television shows, movies and other forms of media where they exude sexual confidence. However, believe it or not, even those who are in the porn industry lack understanding about their sexual health.

Even if you have seen any of the celebrity sex tapes, you will notice that while the video sells because it is of some hot celebrity of the moment, they rarely provide the kind of great sex that we are all capable of... most of it is pretty boring, average sex. Sure, it can be a turn on for some to watch, but it often seems like more hype and less substance. Let me assure you most people have a lot to learn about how to be a great lover.

An Example Of Being Sexually Uneducated

So, here we are living in a society filled with sexual arousal and a lot of misinformation with most people trying to mimic porn movies or other erotica. How can one go wrong doing this? Watch any entertainment video on female ejaculation for example, they often boast that it is a "special gift" or has to do with strengthening the Kegel muscles.

Kegel exercises are great for health, but are not necessary for a woman to ejaculate; what makes a woman ejaculate is completely unrelated. When it comes to female ejaculation, Kegels allow a woman to control the stream of fluid thus allowing her to spray it higher and with more force. The problem is that teaching people that Kegels are what allow a woman to ejaculate is not true and people are often mislead. You end up with a lot of women feeling like something is wrong with them when they can crack walnuts with their strong Kegel muscles and they still can't figure out how to ejaculate.

It truly frustrates me that such a basic sexual function is not understood by a woman, when every woman should be educated about her body enough to know how she operates sexually.

Trends And The Lack Of Sexual Education

My concern is that there is a large movement of Internet based entertainment and interest in sex toys through online stores and even Tupperware style sex toy parties. However, we again lack education.

I have been asked if we are going to create a Tupperware style sex toy party division for our company and for now I simply say that it is something I am considering.

Why am I hesitant? The people at these parties are targeted as potential customers. They of course have a lot of questions. Most of the sales representatives that sell sex toys at these parties are not well educated in human sexuality and begin answering questions about not only the sex toys but also sexual instruction. This type of thing makes me nervous because while someone can make a great sales person, they may not be giving accurate information about sexual health. This is potentially dangerous, and could actually cause harm.

If I ever decide to move forward with such an addition to our business, I would require a training program of our representatives as I feel that it is more important to empower people than to make a quick sale.

Surface Sexuality Over Sexual Empowerment

Look around and you will see that our society does quite a lot of surface over substance. Quick to make a sale off of sexuality, preying on your insecurities, and focusing on how much money they can make. The perfect example of this is all the penis enlargement pills out there that sell to millions of men and yet none of them work. How about dangerous silicone breast implants? We are so preoccupied on how to impress a potential partner that we have lost our common sense.

Believe me, if I wanted to be rich I would just get into selling adult entertainment or penis enlargement pills, because the real money is not in sex education. Consumers have become preoccupied with the quick, superficial fixes, while often ignoring what will give them a quality sex life.

What Am I In This For?

I see myself as a woman on a mission. A mission to educate the world about healthy sexuality so that we can all embrace this beautiful part of who we are.

I often find it funny when people find out what I do for a living as they often become rather bashful and giddy but then immediately start asking questions about sex. It is as if people are walking around starving for information and too afraid to reach out for it.

Of course there are the people who assume my life must be one orgy after another, and that I do nothing but watch better sex videos and experiment with sex toys all day long. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. I live a very normal life in a monogamous marriage, taking care of my family and working 10 - 15 hour days doing things like writing, inventory, finances, marketing and more exciting tasks.

I do it because I am passionate about helping others. I have always wanted to make a difference in this world, to better it and empower people to tap into their strengths and their own passions. At least that is what I try and remind myself when I am up working at three in the morning!

Your Role

Ultimately, customers like you are what drive the market place and it is important that you begin letting the world know that you want it all. You want sensual erotica but you want to also be able to be educated and you want to be given options that take your health into consideration, not just your wallet.

Political Nonsense

Right now in the U.S. there is no government assistance to companies that teach sexual education if they promote the use of birth control. Unless you are promoting abstinence only education, you are pretty much on your own to find funds to educate the public.

Do we really want to go backward? Do we really want people in our society to have no understanding of STDs, safe sex practices, pregnancy information, and simply how their body works sexually? It seems with the way things are going in our government that we do.

We have republicans trying to promote abstinence only and going after legitimate adult companies by inflicting ineffective laws all in the name of child porn protection. Meanwhile, you have democrats going after adult companies for outrageous things like a 25% "sin tax".

All of this is just unbelievable to me. Take the "sin tax" for example. First of all, my company would fall into the category of this and I frankly do not see what I do for a living as a sin.

Second, what you as the consumer may not know is that unless you are a wholesale distributor of adult products (including sex toys and better sex videos) you sometimes only make 25% to 35% profit. A tax of 25% of gross sales would put many small companies out of business (a fact I am sure some uptight, repressed politicians are all too happy to know).

Then look at child porn. We know that 99.9% of child porn does not occur within the mainstream adult industry, yet laws are targeted to impair companies in the industry, including ours. The laws are not helpful, and in no way prevent child porn as this kind of porn is done outside of mainstream companies by criminals who in no way follow the law to begin with. What makes the government think they are going to make criminals abide by regulations they are passing about producing sexual videos when what they are doing by filming children is illegal anyway?

That is why I am currently working through my organization NASAE.org to bring the adult industry for entertainment and education together to proactively self regulate and present the politicians with ideas on how we can protect children as well as other important issues. It would seem since we are in the business of sexuality the government would want to ask the adult industry our opinion, rather than shun us. Yet, we have yet to be asked.

What Can We Do?

If we do not as consumers and providers begin to come together on sexuality and make our voices heard about what we really want to see we will only further ourselves into the dark pit of uneducated, vulnerable, sexually active people.

AIDS and other STDs are not going away, the risk of pregnancy is not going away, sexual dysfunction is not going away, sexual dissatisfaction issues are not going away. These things will not go away until we take empowered steps to become the sexually confident and competent people we have always had the ability to be. Make a stand, demand more from the politicians and media. Be educated consumers and support agencies that are working toward that goal-