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Spiritual Masturbation
Connecting To Our Sexuality

For many people masturbation, while pleasureful, often represents something that is embarrassing, shameful and even as morally wrong. If you have negative associations with masturbation, you may find this article to be something that allows you to reconsider those belief systems.

We will take a look at the history of masturbation, how couples can work through jealousy around masturbating separately, and finally how to connect with yourself on a spiritual level.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

Unhealthy Sexual Repression

Throughout history there have been many confused individuals who were against masturbation. Some of these repressed individuals would go to such extremes that they would resort to barbaric types of prevention from forcing their daughters to wear gloves made of a steel wool material to piecing the foreskin of their son's penis with a wire and soldering the ends together. In addition, masturbation has been falsely associated with blindness, madness and illness. Of course, none of which are true.


In the 1940's & 1950's Alfred Kinsey helped bring awareness to this normal sexual behavior through his publications "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female."

In 1970's & 80's, a woman named Betty Dodson, Ph.D., achieved fame from her approach to masturbation. She held classes for women to teach them how to masturbate to overcome repression and to learn how to "celebrate" their bodies.

Now, there are of course many that teach that masturbation is normal and healthy using scientific proof that it provides health benefits such as: stress relief, menstrual cramp relief, insomnia relief, as well as stimulating the immune system to help build up resistance to common infections. Masturbation also provides mood elevating hormones which of course helps one to feel better in general.

Masturbating With Your Partner Or Solo

Our bodies are certainly wired for sexual sensation with all of our rich nerve endings and hormonal drives. It is natural and a deep part of who we are as a human beings and a great way for us to connect with a partner or without one.

Reducing Masturbation Jealousy

During masturbation there are many types of fantasies that can be had to achieve it. I encourage people to explore their fantasies while masturbating as it is away to let your creativity flow.

For couples that may be jealous of the idea of their partner masturbating without their involvement, you can discuss what types of fantasies you both feel comfortable with and that may even bring you closer together. I recommend, not putting limitations on your fantasies, however, perhaps agreeing that you will not fantasize about people you know in real life or previous romances may help reduce some of the apprehension you or your lover may have about masturbating without one another.

Perhaps once you feel more comfortable and have stronger trust in your relationship you will discontinue any need for fantasy boundaries, however some couples need this reassurance and that is fine if it is agreeable by both partners.

For the sake of this article, we are going to focus on masturbation of the individual as I believe that in order to first try connecting to one's sexuality in a purely spiritual manner, one must first try it by themselves.

The Spiritual Connection

We are going to explore what it is to connect with your spiritual self through masturbation. Perhaps some of you will call it your soul, others God, whatever you wish to call that part of you that is connected to all things in our universe and beyond... that is what we are talking about. The following is a brief overview of how you may accomplish this.

  • Find a place where you can be alone and uninterrupted- a bedroom or bathroom is usually best, however a solitude place in nature is a wonderful location as well.

  • Surround yourself with things that pleasure your senses from scented candles, inspiring music to comfortable bedding, etc. You want to create a place of escape; surroundings that you would imagine a spa to offer you.

  • Using lubricants and sex toys is certainly a good way to bring pleasure to your body. It may also allow you to not have to work as hard at stimulating yourself. This can be an added benefit as it will allow you to focus more on spiritually connecting. As a woman I can assure you that it is much easier for me to climax using a vibrator than my fingers, and therefore using that example, I suggest doing whatever will allow you the most ease in sexual pleasure.

  • This masturbation session may be one where you have more than one orgasm, so plan to spend some time... whether it is building up your sexual arousal and then letting it down and building up again or having several climaxes.

  • Focus on your breathing, your physical pleasure, and imagine yourself floating in clouds, letting go of all of your inhibitions, your worries, and insecurities. Imagine you are becoming one with love and light. You can of course use your own visualizations, whatever helps you to connect with your heart on a spiritual level.

  • As you orgasm, surrender to what you consider God to be... whether that is a wise being, all that is, or for those of a scientific stance... our interconnectedness through energy.

Masturbating To God?

Whatever you consider God to be, remember the point here is to connect with what is pure about sexuality, what is beautiful. We tend to focus too much on our egos and compensate for our low self esteem in sexual fantasies... usually making ourselves the object of lust whether people in our fantasies are doing things to us or we are blowing someone's mind by doing something to them and winning their sexual desires. Those types of fantasies will not be the focus here.

What this exercise is intended to accomplish is to allow you to embrace sexuality as a completely natural part of yourself... one that is pure and without the baggage of ego. It can take you into a new realm of sexuality by allowing you to connect with it in a spiritual manner. When you do this, you will be able to see the true beauty of sexuality. You can see it as a gift in your life that you can celebrate on a higher level then you ever imagined.

Now, of course I am not saying that you should never fantasize on a more primal, lustful level, or a romantic, loving level... these levels of sexuality are certainly fun and worth while. However, one who has never connected sexually to their spirituality is really missing out on an exquisite experience.

So, lay back, relax and journey into a world of sexual bliss free of anxiety, free of inhibitions focused only on you and your connection to the infinite.

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