You know that if your mind is elsewhere, you won't enjoy sex as much. You may have seen our comments about the pinnacle of Tantric Sex resembling sexual meditation. If you have a meditation practice, it can greatly enhance your sexual experience if you bring that inner stillness and mental quiet into your loveplay.
That's why you'll find various meditation techniques in each of our eBooks. The simple version of meditation is sit still, don't try to think or do anything, and watch your breath moving in and out. Or in the case of sexual meditation, concentrate on the sensations coursing through your body.
How To Focus Your Focus On Passion
How do you enhance and use focus to stimulate your passion? The two suggestions we include here are to remove distractions and stimulate your senses.
A vital part of Tantric Sex is to make your lovemaking arena beautiful, sensual, and enticing. We call it a sacred space, because the location of our lovemaking is something we hold dear to our hearts.
Creating a sacred space certainly means cleaning up your dirty laundry and putting away things that are distracting. It means dimming the lights, bringing in fresh flowers, lighting candles, changing the sheets, spreading a beautiful sarong on the bed.
Don't we all have images of the exotic harem where the sultan's wives live? Silks and satins, soft candlelight, erotic background music, subtle incense. Why not use these images in your mind to decorate your bedroom erotically? Of course, you can do this consciously anywhere you choose. For a special afternoon or evening, we lay out futons in the living room in front of our fireplace.
The act of decorating together is a wonderful way to focus your energy together.
Turnoffs & Turn-Ons For Maximum Turn-On
Certainly, turning off the phone and TV is a must. In fact, we don't have either in our bedroom. It's our temple of love.
But we do have a high-quality stereo. Advocates of Tantric Sex like us specialize in all sorts of different kinds of music. Sometimes we like soft harmonies, sometimes strong primitive beats. But we rarely play vocals while we're making love. Our job is to focus our minds on the sensations in our bodies, not on thoughts and outside images.
With busy lives full of important activities, timing can be everything. When can you best focus on what's important? Do you leave sex as the last thing when you're already tired? Maybe that's not the best time for you to devote your full attention to exchanging sensual pleasure.
We understand that creating a sacred space of sexual focus and sensual concentration is more challenging when others are around. If you have young children, you need to work extra hard to maintain your commitment to the health of your relationship through regular lovemaking.
What Is Most Important In Your Life?
Focus on what's most important is a discipline when your hormones aren't raging routinely any more. Build on our suggestions here to maximize attention to your beloved and removing distractions from your loveplay. If you have to schedule time for love in your already packed existence, then show you mean it when you say your relationship is important. Clear the slate before you begin. Lock the door. Don't answer the phone. Put your eyes on the most beautiful thing in front of you. Put your mind on what counts most to your life in the long run. And, yes, guys, you have to say it. Say "I love you" and mean it. Put your heart behind it. Gush with all the things you appreciate about each other. Put your attention on gratitude. Focus on the chemistry -- the mystical forces -- that brought you together. Celebrate the spark that still jumps between you. And when you play with sexual energy, think of nothing else except how great you're making each other feel.