Sexual Assault & Rape Resources

Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert

#metoo letters, Sexual Assault, Abuse & Rape Resources

Healing & Sexual Abuse

It takes strength and support to heal from sexual abuse, sexual assault, and rape. No one heals as though the wounding never happened; instead, the pain becomes part of who we are. Words of comfort do not make the passage less challenging; rather, they aid us in our ability to endure it.

Through the pain, we learn to be empathic toward others and thus part of who we are. While we do not choose to keep many painful events from happening to us, we have the control and the power to determine what we allow our pain to become and what it shapes us into.

While it seems many have a challenging road still ahead in attempts to come to terms with a painful past, having support and love shown by others makes the burden more bearable. If you have been sexually abused, raped, or assaulted, remember that seeking out love and sharing sexual intimacy is a testament to your courage as vulnerability is strength.

Many sexual abuse & assault victims suffer in silence, fearing their feelings and their partner's reactions to them if you struggle with it or know someone who does find support and know that there are hope, love, and beauty in sexuality.

Getting Triggered

When I worked at a Rape Crisis center, our phones often rang off the hook when movies or shows depicting rape or sexual assault were aired. Survivors of these crimes can be triggered by such depictions and experience emotional trauma long after it happens.

Social media has become an even more substantial trigger as people post videos, pictures, and comments that may trigger the victims of sexual assault and rape all over again.

Survivors may not realize they are being triggered until they feel emotionally uncomfortable. They may try to rationalize that they are not at risk of being triggered and that they can handle it, but the anxiety can quickly sneak up on them, leaving them feeling panicked and overwhelmed.

Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional about these feelings is always a good idea. Isolating oneself will only make things worse. There are various hotlines and support centers available, and utilizing them is nothing to be ashamed of; we all need help from time to time. Remember, there is hope, and healing is possible.

What To Do If You Are Being Threatened

If you feel like someone is threatening to assault you sexually, you should first try to remove yourself from the situation. If you are in person, try to leave quickly and let people around you know what is happening.

If it is online, block this person as much as you can. Once you are in a safe place, document everything you can. Keep pictures, screenshots, or text messages as evidence. Report the incident to social media administrators, police, or appropriate authorities.

It's essential to seek support from friends, family, professionals, and online resources. A support system can ensure your safety and provide emotional support during this difficult time. Whether you need to process your feelings or figure out what to do next, having people around you can make a big difference.

Sexual Abuse & Rape Resources

Reaching out for help can be the most courageous thing that any victim can do as it creates a sense of empowerment through action that can allow one to take charge of their lives. We often make the mistake of thinking that courage is about not being afraid; however, that is not true. Courage is doing what we know is the right thing to do for ourselves, even when we are afraid. A helpful resource is through the #MeToo website: MeTooMvmt.org

Legal Resources

These are challenging times for adult survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA). Constant media stories and public awareness about child sexual abuse have caused all CSA survivors to relive their victimization.

The Importance of Therapy

The most important thing to do is talk to a trusted person or a mental health professional about how you feel. It is beneficial for victims to establish a touch base relationship with a therapist so that at times of crisis, when events in your life or the lives of others bring it all back, you have someone to go to. Lawsuits and criminal proceedings are not therapeutic and cannot replace therapy to cope, heal, or obtain closure. They can create more stress so having a therapist is a good idea.

Reaching out for support is a healthy way to process what you've been through and learn how to move forward. You can also find support through online forums and groups where other survivors share resources, offer support, and understand what you're going through.

Law Suits

If you are planning to bring a lawsuit, DO NOT read self-help books that talk about child sexual abuse symptoms. The defense can use what you have read to create the inference that your story was fabricated. Do not write angry letters to your abuser or the abuser's employer. Do not approach the abuser yourself and attempt to negotiate a settlement; no matter how sincere your motivation, you could be accused of extortion.

Statutes of Limitation

Some states have created extended periods to bring claims, but a number do not. How the SOL will be applied to your case in your state is something that you should discuss with a lawyer.

Where to File

Where a lawsuit should be filed based on jurisdiction can be complicated and depend upon where the abuser lives, where the abuse took place, and where you live. For instance, if you were abused in Connecticut or the perpetrator currently lives in Connecticut, you can bring suit in Connecticut regardless of where you live. If more than one state has jurisdiction, your lawyer can determine in which case it is best to file. For instance, one state might have a more favorable outcome.

How to Find a Lawyer

One way to find a specialist is to do an internet search for news stories about abuse successful cases in your state and seek legal counsel through them. You can also contact the sexual assault coalition in the state where you live and ask if they know of lawyers who have successfully brought cases and work effectively with victims. Your state's bar association may have a victim's law subcommittee and may be able to provide you with the name of the chair or a membership list.

Sexual Abuse Resources

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims, and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. Inside, you'll find statistics, counseling resources, prevention tips, news, and more.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE / RAINN.org

Sexual Assault Hotlines In The U.S.
Local addresses and phone numbers for every state.
Feminist.org/911

National Child Abuse Hotline
To learn the reporting agency for your geographic area and situation.
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
ChildHelpUsa.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-621-4000

Girls & Boys Town
A national hotline that girls and boys can call with any problem:
1-800-448-3000 / Hearing Impaired: 1-800-448-1833
GirlsAndBoysTown.org

Parents Anonymous
Self-help groups for abused children and parents under stress
1-800-421-0353 / ParentsAnonymous.org

Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673

American Coalition Against Abuse
202-667-1160

Stop It Now!
Their mission is to call on all abusers and potential abusers to stop and seek help, educate adults about the ways to stop sexual abuse, and increase public awareness of child sexual abuse trauma.
1-888-PREVENT / StopItNow.com

The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers
A nonprofit, interdisciplinary organization. ATSA was founded to foster research, facilitate information exchange, further professional education, and provide for the advancement of professional standards and practices in sex offender evaluation and treatment. ATSA.com