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Below are some helpful tips that should provide you with the information you need as well as products to aid you in achieving your anal play goals with anal sex toy recommendations as well as anal sex videos as well.

Anal Sex Hygiene

Having unprotected anal sex is a good way to contract the HIV/AIDS virus. That is why it is important to discuss such health issues with your partner before you partake in anal sex. Using a condom is highly recommended for couples who do not know one another's sexual history or are prone to Urinary Tract Infections.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

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Bowel Movements

It's a good idea to have a bowel movement at least an hour before anal sex (if possible). This decreases bacterial contamination as well as messes that may not be desirable.

Cleaning Your Anus

Try to clean your anus thoroughly with hot, soapy water before any anal activities. A great alternative are baby wipes, in fact, a strippers technique, many people use them instead of toilet paper for clean up after any bowel movement.

Anal Enemas

An enema is distilled, purified water that is put into the rectal opening which is then held for a few minutes and the released. It helps to aid in constipation and remove fecal matter before anal sex. It is commonly used in the porn industry prior to anal sex scenes.

Please Note- enemas do NOT eliminate ALL bacteria and germs from the anus ). They are easy to do, very inexpensive ($1.50 U.S.), and found at your local grocery store.

There are of course some people who find anal enemas sexually stimulating in addition to the mere cleansing aspect.

If you decide to do an enema, it is suggested that you wait an hour before attempting to have anal sex for the enema to have had time to thoroughly work. You should not have enemas too frequently as this can cause stress to your anus which could cause health issues if continued.

Monobasic Sodium Phosphate 19g,
Dibasic Sodium Phosphate 7g,
Sodium Content 4.4g


The entire anal region has a variety of bacteria inside and just outside it. You will want to be careful to avoid getting that bacteria into other orifices of your body to prevent infection. When you choose to give someone a "Rim Job" or lick their anus you may risk getting sick from bacteria present. You may want to use a finger or toy with lubricant for a similar effect without the risk.

Oral Anal Sex

Also known as 'Analingus,' it is the act of licking or inserting the tongue into the anus to provide pleasure. Both men and women enjoy analingus and you can use some of the same techniques on each. Positioning where the receiver's butt cheeks are naturally spread such as kneeling on all fours (doggie style) with their legs spread apart, or on their back with their legs up in the air (again, legs spread apart) makes the anus easier to access.

Performing oral sex after analingus is not something that should be done as it will transfer harmful bacteria into the urethra (pee tube) of both a male and female recipient. This can cause a very painful urinary tract infection which will have to be treated with antibiotics. One thing you can do before attempting oral sex analingus is to thoroughly brush your teeth and tongue and use Listerine.

When It Hurts- Don't

Anal sex should done in a manner that allows both partners to enjoy it. Start slowly, use a lot of lubricant and do not use desensitizers with Benzocaine like Anal Eze so that you do not feel pain. It is important to listen to your body and using them is not only ignoring the warning signals that your body is sending, but there are health risks with the main ingredient in the desensitizers- benzocaine.

Desensitizers can contain numbing drugs that can include lidocaine, tetracaine, benzocaine and prilocaine. The FDA said consumers should be cautious about using them without medical supervision. Leaving the creams on the skin for long periods of time or on large portions of their bodies can increase the risk, officials have said. Small children and people with heart or severe liver disease are also at higher risk.

Important Information On Benzocaine

Found In Most Sexual Desensitizers

Overuse of skin-numbing creams can cause irregular heartbeats and even death.

Creams and lotions often used in conjunction with cosmetic procedures.

Used in large amounts can cause a lethal dose of chemicals to enter bloodstream.

Numbing creams and lotions, available both by prescription and over the counter, are approved to soothe burning or itching skin as well as pain and to decrease sensation.

A Natural Anal Spray That Works-

There is an anal spray that we highly recommend if you want to help with tension and potential soreness. It uses natural ingredients and creates a subtle decrease in any discomfort felt without completely numbing the sphincter.

Read more about it or buy it-

Organic Adventure Anal Spray for Women

Organic Daring Anal Spray for Men

Natural Anal Spray

Using Condoms For Anal Sex

Due to the risk of STD's, including HIV/AIDS, condoms are an essential part of anal sex in casual relationships. Again, it is good for couples because the bacteria from the anus can get inside the urethra of the man's penis and cause a UTI - Urinary Tract Infection.

When using condoms make sure to use water based lubricants with latex condoms as an oil based lube will break down and destroy the condom.


Ego E4 by Jopen

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Cheeky Boy Prostate Massager


Flexi-Power Rod

When First Using Anal Sex Toys

For first time users of anal sex toys, it is important to remember that using any kind of flexible type toys may be hard to insert as you may be tensing and inadvertently keeping your sphincter muscle tight and closed, not allowing the toy to enter.

IMPORTANT - Using flared based dildos or ones with handles is encouraged as you do not want to accidentally lose your dildo up your rectum and be unable to easily remove it.

You may also want to avoid using a toy that is overly hard as you need to get used to what this feels like and because of inexperience you may cause damage.

Therefore using something like a Silicone Dildo is a good toy to start with as it is soft, yet firm enough for entry. It also has a great handle for easy maneuvering.


Preparation For Anal Sex

To prepare for anal sex, the first thing the receiver needs to do is relax. Clenching the sphincter muscles due to being tense will certainly cause pain.

A hot bath or a sensual massage is a great way to relax. You can also lightly play with the anal rim before slowly penetrating. Make sure to use ample lubricant.

Make sure to discuss anal sex and be educated about it before starting to prevent a painful experience as this can cause a long term fear of the act unnecessarily. Discussing in advance a plan if pain occurs, how to keep things relaxed and fun is a good place to start before any physical activity begins.


Preventing Anal Trauma

The rectal area is a sensitive area of the body and the deeper you go, the more it is spread open the more you will feel. Make sure to avoid any sharp objects and do not thrust rigid items quickly into the rectum as you can cause serious damage. Another thing to consider is allergies to certain ingredients in lubricants, condoms (spermicide) and sex toys (like latex). Researching the best sex toys for anal play is also a good idea before you use one.


Fingering the Anus


This is a great way to introduce someone to anal sex is to play with the rim of their anal opening. You can start slowly on the rim, stimulating the rich nerve endings there and then work your way inside when they are ready. Making circular motions is often a nice rhythmic way to do it and making sure you use lubricant is essential.

Ringing the Bell

Take one finger and push on the anus without penetrating it, as though you were ringing a doorbell. Hold each push down for a second or two before releasing. You can vary the speed and pressure to make more interesting.


This is when lubrication is essential. Start slowly inserting a little bit at a time into the anus while moving in and out. Once far enough in you can build speed and pressure.

Multiple Fingers

Once a beginner is comfortable, you can begin to add more intensity if you desire. Adding fingers as well as pushing against the walls while inside will add intensity. Some people even go as far as anal fisting. This is only for those that are well educated in fisting and take precautions as it is a highly risky activity for infection, permanent damage and trauma.

Anal Love For Men
  • While performing oral sex on a man it is often found to be highly erotic to stimulate the perineum (the area between the base of the balls and the anus).

  • Work your way down to the anus and begin circling the outer rim of the anus. If all goes well, slowly insert your finger up to your first knuckle. Keep a close eye on your partner to make sure he's enjoying it. Proceed slowly.

  • Depending on the man, you may only be able to get one knuckle deep before he's uncomfortable, or you may find that he enjoys an entire finger (or two - or three).

  • During orgasm in a man, the perineum and the anus become highly charged orgasmic centers of pleasure.

  • Each man is different, but if you locate his (sweet spot- prostate) you can give him intense orgasms.

  • Another technique is to use anal beads and pull them out at the moment of climax.


Prostate Massage

Traditionally, physicians would massage their patients' prostates regularly to cure or prevent disease. Now, however, most doctors only check the prostate, and if they find a problem prefer to cut it out or prescribe medication.


You can do it yourself or have your partner do it for you. Try this practice and discover its health benefits. When you do it yourself, you can be very gentle and make the treatment pleasurable as well as efficacious.

The prostate is essentially the same thing as the gspot in a woman.

When engorged, the prostate gland can be felt through the perineum (just behind the scrotum a.k.a.- balls). It is a round bump and is approximately the size of a marble. It can also be accessed through the rectum (butt) and can be felt as a soft marble that rests toward the front of the body. It is about a 2 - 2.5 inches inside the rectum.

You can find the prostate by inserting a finger inside. Stimulation this will often cause sexual arousal and ejaculatory fluid will come out whether an orgasm is achieved or not. During the aroused state, the fluid builds up in the prostate to the point where it will come out. The muscular contractions will be that of a reflexive orgasm.

You can achieve prostate massage by simply inserting a lubricated finger or anal sex toy (prostate massager) and pushing up against it and rubbing it. Pressure against it will intensify the pleasurable sensation. If at anytime it feels painful, you should not do it. If the pain continues you should seek the advice of a physician.

Tantric Teacher Speaks About Prostate Massage

"We don't all start out as super tight-assed guys. But strong injunctions against making a mess after toilet training takes hold start us out clamping our back doors shut. Plus insensitive rectal exams and the modern war against rectal and prostate cancer doesn't help our relaxing into the pleasure produced by the huge density of nerve endings there.

By the way, surveys prove that over half of heterosexual men experiment with anal play. So if you're seriously considering it... it doesn't mean you're gay. If you'll pardon the tasteless metaphor, prostate play is an acquired taste. Most guys only enjoy it after repeated practice. That was certainly true for me. At first, I was tight, tense, and clamped rigidly shut. In fact, at times it was downright painful.

Because it focuses on pleasure as a divine imperative, Tantra was the perfect vehicle for me to welcome male G-Spot Orgasm. Under my guidance, my beloved learned to warm me up, lube me up, and enter me oh so gently. Even so, she initially contacted hot spots, ultra sensitive areas that needed to be healed with repeated exercise coupled with Tantric energy breathing. Stage by stage I got to the point where I could relax my sphincter almost at will.

Did you know there are two ring-like muscles that guard your anus, one under your control and one normally ruled by the involuntary nervous system? Developing the ability to relax and open both at will was a big step for me in welcoming G-Spot pleasure. Gradually I could feel new and unique sensations from the strokes on my prostate gland. Our Tantra training in the mid 1990s taught us to engage in penis and G-Spot massage as part of a multiple orgasm program."

Sexual intensity is enhanced by massaging the penis at the same time. Some men have passed out from the sheer pleasure so be prepared for an amazing sexual experience.

You can stimulate the prostate with a finger, dildo or other anal toy through the anus. If you are using your finger or anal sex toys, you can perform fellatio (blow job) or a handjob at the same time. If you or your partner do not like the anus area being stimulated you can firmly massage the perineum (a.k.a - 'taint')

Some men enjoy it, some others don't. The amount that a man will enjoy this depends on how he feels about it in general.

Some men may find it unpleasant for a number of reasons, while others will experience incredible orgasms. Relaxation and patience is the key.

Anal Love For Women

In a woman, the nerve centers of the vagina and the anus share several common walls and paths. When stimulated together, women can experience enhanced pleasure and extremely intense orgasms. Thus, double penetration (simultaneous insertion into the anus and vagina) can be an amazing sexual experience for a woman. Women also enjoy exclusive anal stimulation, both around the rim of the anus and through insertion and penetration.

Toys, Fingers & Penis

Using a sex toy such as a g-spot stimulator, dildo or anal beads can be exciting to a woman. While anal sex is not something all women enjoy, women can have anal orgasms and even female ejaculate while having one.

Many women enjoy rimming, and penetration, so the use of the toys, finger and penis for anal stimulation are all great ways to play.

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