Intimacy After Rape

Intimacy After Rape Story Submitted Bob

Trigger Warning: Please note this story contains depictions of rape and may be a trigger for some rape victims. Please see our articles on Rape Prevention, Date Rape Drug Education, and Sexual Assault & Rape Resources for helpful information.

Deena Moore was being fucked. The realization came slowly as she felt the undulating motion of the bed beneath her and the weight of the body over her. Her awareness came even more slowly as her mind emerged from unconsciousness. She sensed something unfamiliar about her husband's technique. Something savage and unloving! She opened her eyes.

Above her, the man she had known earlier in the evening only as Frank was driving his man-meat into her with such ferocity that the beads of sweat from his exertion had formed on his bare flesh.

In an instant, her mind was aware of what was happening, but she felt nothing; no terror; no guilt; nothing - just a slow realization that she was being taken by a strange man. Then, something in her snapped, and she rebelled. She attempted to cry out in terror. No spoken words came out of her mouth as she tried to fend off the man who was doing her, but her arms and legs would not respond. She only felt the dull pressure of the massive tool as it worked its way in and out of her vagina - there were no sensations save the dull feeling! Then the blackness closed over her, and she was unconscious.

A second time, Dee began to become aware of her surroundings as she awoke from her black haze to consciousness, and as before, she felt the rhythmic sensation of coitus and the weight of the man over her. As she became more aware, she seemed to remember something horrible, perhaps a bad dream, and she lay semiconscious until the thought slowly came to her - this was real! She opened her eyes.

This time, the man above her was not Frank but rather, Frank's friend who had been pursuing Tricksy earlier in the evening. He was moving with a sense of urgency. Unable to scream and unable to move, she simply lay inert, her mind aware of the dull friction of the man's tool sliding against her vaginal walls. There was no passion; there was no fear; there was no recrimination. In fact, her powers of reason seemed blunted, and she wondered. Perhaps it is just a bad dream; she thought as she drifted back into her blackness.

Sometime later, Dee began to return to consciousness, and her mind seemed clearer. As she became semiconscious, she began to experience feelings and wondered as before if what she seemed to have experienced was a bad dream; then, as she felt the soreness in her genital area, she knew it was not. As she lay thinking, she willed herself to return to a fully alert state.

This time, when she opened her eyes, only the dull buff color of the ceiling of the room was visible. She moved her arms, then her legs, and lay contemplating her next move. Then, having determined that she had moved, she turned and placed her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. With the move, she became instantly aware of a blinding headache and the flow of seminal fluids out of her and on to the bed. Her stomach felt as though she might retch at any time.

As her head cleared and she was able to survey her situation, and she found that she was alone. Only her clothes and purse remained scattered about on the floor. The purse had been ransacked, and the few dollars it contained gone. Again, she rested and contemplated her next move.

Later, after her head cleared sufficiently, she went to the bathroom, and only then did the magnitude of her problems begin to become apparent. She was obviously in a hotel room, although she had no idea which one or where it was located. She had been screwed by at least two men, not her husband, and worse, she had allowed it, or at least she had participated.

As she prepared to shower, she saw the used condom in the trash basket, and she thought, "I've had men in me who may be carrying all sorts of disease. I'm dirty." In the shower, no amount of scrubbing could remove that dirt she felt. Only the hot spray offered any relief as it helped to clear her head and clear her mind.

On leaving the shower, she dried and went into the room to gather her clothing and fold and hang it to remove the wrinkles, etc. As she put on her panties and bra, she noted the name and address of the hotel on the directory. It was only a few doors from the Club Alana.

As Dee considered her plight, she continued dressing and, since she had no comb, brush, toothbrush, etc., found herself barely presentable as she looked into the mirror. It was as she passed the bed with its cum soaked sheets that her dirty feeling returned.

In her mind, she imagined every person on the street saw her as dirty, a common slut, the lowest caste. They appeared hostile! She left the hotel and hurried the two blocks to the parking lot, where she retrieved her car. Then, as she found shelter from the hostile world in her car, she thought about her situation.

Dee had been totally faithful to her husband until now. She had never even looked at a man other than her husband. Oh! She had often gone partying and had enjoyed male attention at dances and parties, but that was the limit. She thought back to the previous evening.

She recalled the beginning of the last evening. She and her friend, Tricksy, had been bored with their husbands away on business for nearly two weeks. They decided to go out, do a bit of dancing, and to turn a few male heads. They had enjoyed just such an evening many times before.

At the Alana Club, they had danced with several men. There was Frank and his friend who seemed to be enamored with Tricksy. Of course, there were several other men too. Dee remembered drinking Gin and Tonic - at least 2, maybe three, but certainly not enough to cause her to be drunk.

As she continued to think about the night before, she remembered refusing a marijuana joint that had been handed her. Then her memory became blurred.

Frank had tried to fondle her - she remembered that. Still, that had happened many times before on different occasions with other men, and she'd always been able to handle it. She wondered.

As Dee pondered what had occurred, she remembered Tricksy and how she had seemed to be unusually 'high.' Then, she started the engine and drove her car slowly towards home.

The events of the night before still remained a big question. She had danced with several guys until Frank had begun to monopolize her. She had allowed it as he was a good dancer, extremely confident and manly, and he appealed to her. She recalled that when she saw Tricksy drunken, she had mentioned it to Frank, and he had laughed.

"He had laughed! Then what?" she thought, and her memory became hazy. She wondered why she had not become aware of her intoxication and defended herself, or had she? "No," she conceded as she recalled walking with Frank. She dimly remembered the cool air and the street as they had entered the hotel. Then, she recalled with horror that she had wanted to be with him.

"She has wanted sex with him. She had not resisted," she recalled. Then she felt the cold horror of shame and fear as she realized the magnitude of her indiscretion and the possible consequences. Mostly, she wondered why she could possibly have felt that way. It was not like her. There were questions in her mind. Dee knew herself and her limits in social situations.

In her mind, she simply could not concede that she had willingly bedded another man, a stranger, not her husband. She loved her husband and felt sure she would never do anything to hurt him, or would she?

On arriving home, she simply lay back on their sofa where she and her husband had made love so many times and relaxed. Then, as she considered her indiscretion, she felt uncomfortable there, guilt-ridden for having defiled their marriage. She moved to a big guest chair. Several hours later, she had recovered sufficiently to call Tricksy and find out what she knew about the previous evening. As Tricksy answered, Dee knew immediately that something was wrong - her voice said one thing, but the tone said something entirely different, and she was sure it was hostility.

Dee probed and found her questions unanswered. Twenty minutes later, Dee was at Tricksy's front door, and when the two women met face to face, there was hostility in Tricksy's demeanor. "We've gotta talk," Dee said. "All right, Damn it! Why did you leave me passed out in the women's restroom last night?" Tricksy responded. Dee was shocked and taken by surprise as she said, "Tricksy, I didn't leave you- not on purpose anyway! I don't know what happened last night."

The two friends looked at one another and felt the trust between friends as they stepped forward to embrace each other. As Tricksy prepared dinner, they discussed the events of the night before. Tricksy reported that she had awakened in the women's room at the Alana and, thinking Dee had abandoned her, taken a cab home. At first, Dee left out certain parts of her recollections. She explained, waking up in a hotel room. Then as the Tricksy probed, she told her whole story. Tricksy had been sympathetic and said simply, "I think we were drugged." Dee suddenly realized that Tricksy's idea was a very real possibility, and she reviewed what she could remember in a new light.

As they ate dinner, they continued to discuss the various aspects of the matter and how they would explain to their husbands when they returned that they had been raped by a man or men whom they had met at a dance. By nine o'clock, Dee was very tired and unable to stay awake any longer, so she left Tricksy and went back to her own house. As she went to the master bedroom, she felt a sense of guilt.

She would be returning to that bed like a common slut, unworth of Winn's trust and love. As she considered her situation, she realized that she could not defile her marriage bed and would have to sleep in the guest room. As she relocated to the guest room, the cold sense of fear and guilt lay heavily on her, She prepared to sleep alone in the strange bed. She bathed again, in the guest bathroom, and scrubbed her groin and thighs with vigor as if to remove any trace of what had happened. Then, she carefully primped and cared for herself before retiring. Later, in bed, sleep would not come. She lay restless.

It was sometime later when the man she knew as Frank appeared in a dream, and she felt her the same inability to resist him again. She screamed - this time, it was the sound of her scream that woke her. Shaken, she fought to remain awake and avoid another nightmare. Later, overcome with fatigue, she fell into a deep sleep, and it was morning when she had her second bad dream. This time it was the man, Frank, again, and he was driving himself into her as she remembered him doing before. She tried to resist and found herself unable. She tried to scream, but no sound came forth.

Then, she had simply given in to him, having exhausted the last of her will. It was at the exact moment that she surrendered that she awoke, and the cold terror lay heavy in the pit of her stomach. That afternoon, her husband returned from his trip. Immediately, as Winn stepped in the door, he sensed his wife's anguish and wondered what it was that had upset her so. He had kissed her, felt the tension, and backed off to await the explanation which wasn't forthcoming. Then, as he went to their bedroom to unpack and clean up after his trip, he noted that the bathroom hadn't been used recently.

The bedroom was neat and tidy - something was wrong! As Winn pondered the situation, he considered his alternatives. He loved his wife and trusted her completely. Whatever the problem that Dee was having, it was hers to divulge when she was ready, and until that time, he could only wait and love her. Later as they sat down to dinner, Winn was sure that he saw fear in her eyes. They ate in silence, cleared the dishes, and retired to the family room where Winn proceeded to pour a glass of wine for them before seating himself next to his wife. Then, he waited. They sat in silence for some time before Dee started to cry, and once crying, began to bawl in uncontrolled sobs.

Winn could only comfort her. It was sometime later that Dee told Winn the whole story, including her memories of having gone willingly and having been used by at least two men. She told every bit of information she had, leaving out nothing, including her dreams. As she ended her story, she said, "I know you can never forgive me. If it had been rape, I might have been able to ask your forgiveness, but I went willingly with him. I can't explain it. I would never have done it if," and she returned to bawling uncontrollably; Winn listened as shew told her story.

He heard her words and knew that they were only her version of the truth. He knew his wife well, and he knew she'd never consent to such a thing. He knew she loved him and had never strayed even slightly from her allegiance to him before, and now he listened to what she didn't say. In only a few minutes, he had figured out what had happened as surely as if she had been able to tell him - she had been drugged and raped!

Having figured out what had apparently happened, he began to develop a plan to relieve her guilt and bring her back to her status as a loving and faithful wife. He said nothing. Instead, he poured them another glass of wine and returned to his spot beside his stricken wife. As he sat, he turned to her and said, "Do you believe for one minute that you willingly betrayed your marriage vows or somehow betrayed me? That's just so much crap! I know you." Dee responded, "I didn't resist when he took me to the hotel room. I remember. I wish I could say it was different, but I can't." Winn raised his voice as he spoke, "Did you ever hear of date rape of a drug that breaks a woman's resistance and leaves her helpless to resist? You were a victim!"

When he kissed her, Dee did not resist, but neither did she respond. When he caressed her arms and neck, she was cold and seemingly indifferent. It was when he suggested that they go to bed that she responded, "Do you still want me?" and Winn laughed. "Hell babe, you're never hotter than when you've got troubles. Nevermore beautiful either. Now, get your ass up there in bed so I can have my way with you." he said. She did not immediately respond; then, after a long moment, she said, "I'm not sure this will solve anything! Winn pulled her up from the sofa and said, "Well, it sure can't hurt anything.

Now, get your butt up there and get ready for some real action." This time she moved slowly towards the master bedroom. As they entered the big room, Winn embraced his wife and kissed her tightly closed lips. He caressed her lightly and, getting no response pressed his lips to his neck and shoulder. As they stood, he slowly unbuttoned her shirt and unzipped her designer jeans as he had done a thousand times before. Then, as she stood in her bra and panties and Winn raced to bare himself, Dee spoke, "I can't do this. I feel dirty."

Win did not argue but instead embraced her again and unhooked her bra. Then, as she offered no resistance, he removed the panties so that she stood bare before him as she had a hundred times before. He led her to the bed, where he assisted her between the sheets as gently as he could. Then, he climbed in beside her. As he touched her, he felt the resistance. He did not push the matter farther. An hour later, Dee screamed as her nightmare returned and, in her half-sleep, turned to Winn's arms for solace. He comforted her and held the embrace she had sought in her terror long after she had returned to sleep.

The next morning, Winn woke first and made coffee and toast, which he carried back to the bedroom and found Dee just awakening. He carried the tray to the bed and kissed his wife softly on the lips as he said, "I thought we might have breakfast in bed." Dee felt the warmth of her husband's love even as she bore the guilt of her transgressions as she lay eating her breakfast in bed. She wanted to please him even as she felt undeserving of his faith in her.

She knew what her duty was as she spoke, "This morning I'm gonna' give you something you'll never forget. Are you up to it?" she said as she turned and grabbed Winn and drew him on to the bed with her. She proceeded to kiss and fondle and caress him as Winn lay enjoying her ministrations. It was only a matter of a minute when Winn realized that she was not acting spontaneous and that her heart wasn't into it. He moved and halted the action. "You don't have to do this," he said as he gathered her into a loving embrace. "Just love me like this for a while. Dee took his move as rejection, and now she had a concrete basis for her feeling of unworthiness. She held back the tears and felt the ugly knot of fear in her stomach. Right then, she wanted nothing more than to be taken and loved and fucked.

Fucked until there was only the old intimacy that she and Winn had always enjoyed and might never be again. Soon, Winn moved again; this time off the end of the bed as he positioned himself to kiss and caress his way to her vagina, where he hoped to develop some of their old spark. As he kissed and caressed, he met no resistance, but neither did he sense any growing passion. He allowed his lips to toy with her clit and fingered her vagina as hew had so many times before. Then, as Dee lay seemingly inert on the bed, he simply rose over her and inserted his cock into her well-lubricated passage. He moved slowly; then, lay motionless before trying some new sensation. Then he felt it. She had moved beneath him. He thrust himself into her with renewed interest and felt her response. Slowly, they began to move in familiar ways - ways that are known only to the lovers! Winn continued to kiss and caress and fondle as they fucked. He worked at the tenderness, the intimacy.

He thrust only slowly and carefully as she returned his thrusts with more and more enthusiasm. It was some time before Dee became a full and willing participant. Winn wasn't sure of the exact moment. He was only sure that it had happened. He began to drive into her with renewed zest, and the lovers kissed and caressed as they pounded each other. The end came suddenly as Winn lost all control and spurted his load into her waiting belly.

He held Dee in a tight embrace, kissing and fondling as he poured out his seed. Dee was enveloped in the warmth of their intimacy as she felt Winn's sperm enter her belly. She reveled in her condition and in the arms of the man she loved. She felt the remnants of his seed as it dripped from her, and it brought her joy. Winn remained close and supported her. He knew that the worst was over between them and that there'd be rough days ahead, but she was his wife, and he loved her.