Tantra & Kama Sutra Tips

What Is Kama Sutra?

The Kama Sutra was written as a guide to living while integrating love, romance, maintaining one's love life. It delves into the pleasures of sex and specifics surrounding techniques so often it is thought of as a sex manual even though it is far more than that.

What Is Tantric Sex?

Tantra is complex and difficult to pin down even for many tantric instructors. Tantra is a religious philosophy and practice that started in India around AD 550 that spread through Asia, and made its way to places such as Europe and the United States in the last 100 years. In the early stage of tantra, the primary focus was to attract and control powerful female beings called yoginis or dakinis, a type of female demon or goddess in Hinduism and Buddhism. Men would offer themselves to these demons to become a god-like human by going through various sexual challenges and lives.

Neo tantra (modern tantra) has completely changed what true tantra was and has become a new age mix of teaching sex and spirituality. Neo-tantra has become focused on a mind, body approach to sexuality with sexual positions and can be described as a form of slow sex to gain spiritual enlightenment.

Many neo-tantra teachers integrate it with yoga practices while having partners looking into one another's eyes while focusing on breathing together to enhance intimacy. It is often taught along with concepts like power, enjoyment, discipline, and sexual techniques. Most new age tantra experts teach it with Ayurveda yoga techniques, along with a focus on higher consciousness. Others market tantra as a way to impress lovers with enhanced sex techniques. 

Tantra is often sold to consumers as a wellness package based on concepts tantric teachers have no fundamental understanding of due to a corrupted version of what it has become, which is why it is a form of cultural appropriation. By educating you about its true origins and making this distinction, we hope to bring awareness that what is taught today and called tantra is not really tantra.

When we reference tantra on this website, we will refer to the new-age version of tantra, also known as sexual yoga. This encapsulates sexual exercises to increase intimacy and maximize sexual pleasure and power. This type of neo-tantra is to help people be present in the moment to optimize their sexual experiences as outlined in our Sex & Mindfulness Guide.

Tantra & Kama Sutra Differences

The Kama Sutra is a tantric book, so they are interconnected. However, tantric sex positions focus more on spiritual experiences, whereas the Kama Sutra focuses on increasing pleasure. See our Sex & Spirituality Guide for additional information.

Tantra & Tantric Sex Controversies

There are some controversies regarding unqualified tantric teachers and, in some cases, abuse allegations in addition to cultural appropriation. Let's take a moment to review what these concerns entail and how you can avoid them. 

Qualifications Of Tantra Teachers

Many tantra teachers have taken a short workshop to earn certification and then teach consumers. Their students or clients may bring various issues they are not trained to address, such as disabilities, mental health issues, relationship challenges, trauma, abuse, and more. It is essential that anyone who teaches tantra thoroughly understand their professional limitations and take care not to inadvertently practice medicine without a license or provide therapy without appropriate credentials. When seeking tantra services, whether you are learning about it or experiencing it, take care to understand your teacher's credentials and ensure that you are taking care to only focus on those things they are qualified to do with you.

Consent

It should be made clear what type of physical touch, if any, will be conducted during sessions, and consent by a client should be provided before any sessions occur. An ethical professional will review with you what to expect beforehand, check in with your comfort levels during their time with you and gain your consent with everything you do. You have the right to change your mind at any time and should never be shamed or told that you need to do anything you are uncomfortable doing in order to grow, heal, or be enlightened. You have every right to refuse something that makes you uncomfortable at any time. 

Avoiding Abuse & Cults

Understanding the potential for abuse from tantric teachers and sex educators is essential before seeking help. Manipulative sexual teachers and counselors can use their techniques to lower people's boundaries and then weaponize them to shame and pressure their clients by being sexual in ways they are uncomfortable with. This can be done under the guise of trying to help one release blockages. Sometimes it is also done by using foreign words to describe sex to disarm people by making them think their abuse is simply a sexual technique or form of healing.

An example of this was reported in the Agama Yoga Scandal of 2018, where many women came forward with reports of rape and sexual assault. These instances occurred during private and group sessions. In addition to being presented with tantric sex with their teacher as healing and enlightenment, there was also shaming and pressuring clients to participate in group sex despite clients expressing reservations about involving themselves.

Huge red flags that indicate an unprofessional setting and an increased risk of sexual abuse are when there are no clear expectations before tantra sessions, a lack of checking in with comfort levels and consent during them, and a disregard for personal boundaries.

This is especially an issue in the power dynamic of narcissistic male gurus who use their popularity and power to dominate women into sexual submission under the guise of trying to help them. It can be furthered by the group belief that the self-appointed guru is correct in doing these things, which then takes on the danger of being a cult.

Be careful when working with a sexual professional that makes their sexual preferences normal and healthy and paints yours as a problem. This includes using religion or spiritual beliefs to try to convince you that your sexual boundaries are blockages to your growth. Your sexual comfort and boundaries should always be respected and honored.

Kama Sutra Sex Positions

Kama Sutra positions are yoga-based, so many of them would be challenging unless you are adept at yoga positions already. However, they do offer some creative ways to try both vaginal and anal penetration in addition to oral sex (fellatio and cunnilingus).

Sexual positions can be challenging to describe, so for the sake of simplification, we will primarily be using terms of male and female to help clarify how these positions make it easier to understand positioning.

Please Note:

The pictures featured in this article are sexual positions that are in addition to what is being described in the various written positions for added creative suggestions. 

Side Stride

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Have one partner lie on their side, keeping their bottom leg straight and top leg bent at the knee. Have a kneeling partner position themselves between your legs, and lift your top leg while resting it on their chest or hooks your ankle over their shoulder.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for men couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist. The wide-open view of the genitals allows for a great sexually arousing view as well as a wonderfully exposed feel for the partner lying down. It's also easy for either partner to stimulate themselves with their hand, your hand, or a vibrator.

Love Me, Squeeze Me

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Have one partner lie back with one leg outstretched and the other bent so their knee is pointing upward. Facing sideways, lower yourself onto their penis, hand or dildo and hold on to their bent knee for leverage. As you rock back and forth, lean far enough forward, so your genitals rub against their inner thigh.

For The Lover On Top

With their leg right there to balance you, you're free to let go and grind in wild motions. You can also reach down and play with your lover's genitals with your hand or a sex toy.

For The Lover On Bottom

A great way to double stimulate your partner when using a pillow under your head to prop you up. Also, you can mutually masturbate from this position.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for male couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist.

The Diamond

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Some Non-binary Couples

The man lies on his back with a pillow propped under his head. Facing him, the woman lowers herself onto his penis and puts her hands and knees on either side of his torso. Once he's deep inside, gently move in the diagonal shape of a diamond: to the left, then down, right, and up.

The man's penis glides against every part of the vaginal walls, including the G-spot. These motions won't wear you out the way fast, up-and-down thrusts do, and the two of you can enjoy a more extended sex session of intense face-to-face intimacy.

This can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on for female couples.

Over Easy

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Lie on your stomach, legs straight, and spread slightly. Your partner lies over you, positioning his legs on either side of yours. As they enter you, close your legs and cross them at the ankles. With your legs clenched and ankles crossed, you can feel the entire length of your partner's penis or dildo and grip it tight. Your partner can also reach under you and play with your nipples or brush their lips against your ears, cheek, and neck. Though this move offers high sensation, there isn't a lot of motion, so it's a good position for ejaculation control or for couples who want to savor the feel of each other's bodies.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for male couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist.

Yeehaa

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Some Non-binary Couples

As your partner lies on their back, face them and lower yourself onto their penis (or hand, finger, dildo) in a kneeling position. Keeping your knees on the bed, hook your feet over the inside of their legs at their knees. Grab the bed sheets on either side of their head, squeeze your butt, tilt your pelvis upward and move in small, tight motions. Yeehaa!

By gripping the bedsheets and using their legs as stirrups, this sex position offers lots of leverage which is a good thing as it will allow a steady rhythm of penetration to help achieve an incredible orgasm. As your body is higher than his, this allows the woman to grind her clitoris against his pelvic bone to achieve double stimulation. It is also great for a tall man and a shorter woman as it allows them to face one another more easily.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist for female couples.

Bend Over Rover

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Bend forward with your legs slightly spread, and your arms are hanging loose in front of you or resting on a low chair for balance. Let your partner enter you behind, pulling themselves as close to you as possible while holding your torso for support.

This spin on doggy-style is perfect for I-need-you-now quickies. Being bent over gives the standing partner maximum depth and control, and the angle allows access to your G-spot/Prostate.

Bonus

Have the standing partner stand still while grinding your behind in circles.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for male couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist.

Over The Shoulder Smolder

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Lie on your back with a pillow under your head and put your legs up as straight as possible and over to one side of your partner's shoulder. Your partner kneels and pushes your legs slightly to one side and then penetrates while keeping hands down flat on either side of you for support.

This is an excellent position as having your legs lightly closed allows for a tighter feel. This means more intense sensations. If you bend your knees slightly, you can also clench down using your Kegel muscles to make it an even tighter feel. This position also allows you to have your hand free to play with the clitoris, use a vibrator or play with your breasts.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for male couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist.

Shower Power

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Facing the faucet, kneel in a tub that's half-filled with warm water. Lean forward and hold the walls or sides of the tub for balance; your partner can climb in and penetrate you from behind. As you grind, use your hand to guide the water stream from the faucet between your legs, or use a detachable showerhead.

This sex style is great for those (especially women) who don't always orgasm easily: Your partner has prime G-spot access, while the super sensual water spray electrifies your clitoris. And with your bodies meshed tightly in the tub, your partner can play with your nipples and stroke you all over.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. This can be done anally for male couples, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist.

End Of The Line

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Bend over the side of the bed so your stomach and breasts are pressed against the mattress, and your feet are on the floor, legs spread comfortably. As your partner penetrates you from behind, they lift your legs from just above the knees, hold them apart, and thrust.

With your body angled slightly downward and your legs apart, they get deep penetration.

For male and female couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. For male couples, this can be done as an ally, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap-on, finger, or fist (more easily with the assistance of a chair if using finger or fist).

The Y

For: Male & Female Couples / Female Couples / Male Couples / Nonbinary Couples

Lie face down across the bed, then scoot your body forward, so your head and torso hang off the side and put your palms on the floor to support your weight. Your partner enters you from behind, with their legs positioned inside yours and their hands holding your torso for balance so they can keep his head and shoulders high.

Because of the tricky positioning, this isn't something you can do all night, but it adds a lot of intensity to a run-of-the-mill position. It can easily be simpler if the partner on the bottom opens their legs and allows the partner on top a kneeling position inside to get deeper thrusts.

For male and couples, this can be done vaginally and anally. For male couples, this can be done as an ally, and for female couples, this can be done vaginally or anally with a strap on.

Tantric Ceremony

Begin by making your space a sacred place for you and your lover to connect. Using aromatherapy, scented candles, and soothing music is an excellent place to start. Some people find it better to use music without lyrics not to define the moment. Turn off phones and other devices and create a relaxed environment through the way you are dressed (or undressed). Some lovers enjoy taking a shower or bath beforehand to let the day's stress go.

The Heart Ceremony

Tantric high spiritual sex is not just for a wild fling with a sexual partner, nor even a technique to improve your sexual prowess. High spiritual sex depends on your ability to awaken and raise the feelings of love deep within you.

To do this, first, you will learn how to love yourself, develop self-appreciation and acceptance of who you are, and feel the pleasure and delight of being you. You are going to need time to do this by yourself. Set aside at least an hour.

Preparing For The Ceremony

Begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Breathe as deeply as you can without making an effort to think about it. Let the cleansing power of the breath lead you into an appreciation of your body, soul, and mind. While you are breathing, use your mind to imagine that you are meeting your lover psychically and at the same time imagine that you are your beloved.

Stay at this level of imagination while you and your lover breathe in and out gently. Bring into your mind a time when you felt totally loved, protected, cared for, and accepted ultimately. Feel the trust, the gentleness, the vitality that goes with this feeling. Feel delighted in your vulnerability, your innocence, and your openness.

Let loving thoughts flow and merge with the feelings. As you breathe in and out, let these feelings arise within yourself. Focus on pleasant sensations, the smells, sounds, tastes, the softness of your lover's skin. Immerse yourself with these sensations. Feel them as intensely as you can. Raise your hands to place them on your own heart.

Allow your feelings to vibrate within yourself as they will. Feel the joy of the present moment. Allow these feelings to flow throughout your entire body. Think of words that describe these feelings. Tell yourself how wonderful you feel, express your feelings of love as though you and your lover are one. Remember these feelings of love and appreciation. These feelings of love carry with them a spiritual dimension, a sense that you are part of the more extensive creation and expression of the infinite.

Gradually come back now into the reality of your presence, remain relaxed and hold onto that feeling of love, and go about the business of the day. You are now ready for a whole new dimension of experience in your life. When you have accessed these feelings of love, it is natural to want to share them, and you can verbally share these feelings with your partner.

The Ceremony

This ceremony will take you out of the normal sexual coming together at the day's end with your mind full of business and other activities, into the spiritual oneness with your heart and higher-self. When you use this greeting with another, you choose to honor the other person's higher self and relate with that person on a higher level that transcends the physical reality that divides you. This ritual will become a part of every exercise or loving encounter with your partner.

Choose a private space in your home or another place where you and your lover are going to be alone. Allow five to ten minutes for this ritual. If you do not have a partner, you may do this ritual alone in front of a mirror if you wish. The proper usage of this ritual will set the stage for the energy to move in the highest way from you to your lover, indicating the feelings of high respect to your partner's higher-self from your higher-self.

There are two forms of the Heart Ceremony; you may choose one or the other or alternate as you wish. The first is a verbal greeting; the second one uses the sound OM to give your heart a feeling of centeredness.

Heart Ceremony I

Sit on the floor or your bed facing each other. Gaze into each other's eyes for a few minutes. As you inhale, bring the palms of your cupped hands together in front of you, and rest the thumbs against your chest. Together with your partner, close your eyes. As you exhale, gently bend forward from the waist, keeping your back straight. Bend forward until your foreheads touch lightly. Hold this contact for a few moments, feeling the connection between you.

Feel the complete sense of honor and reverence that this mutual gesture conveys. Let go of all extraneous thoughts and focus your breathing and awareness in your heart. Inhale, sit upright, open your eyes, look into your partner's eyes and say something like one of these acknowledgments of your partner:

• I honor the higher self in you.
• I salute the God/Goddess within you.
• I honor you as an aspect of the Divine.
• I honor you as an aspect of myself.

As your partner reciprocates the greeting, feel the profound meaning of the gesture, appreciate the devotion and reverence, embody the fullness of being, and share in the spark of divinity.

Heart Ceremony II

The alternative would be to make the sound of OM as you bend forward to touch each other's foreheads. This sound helps to focus your awareness within yourself. Let the sound resonant within deep within your body until it resonates. As you exhale, close your lips to pronounce the "Mmmm" part of the sound. Feel the meaning of the greeting and feel the effects of the sound. You might wish to do this ceremony sitting on facing chairs or standing, but follow the sequence as stated.

See more about Better Sex Through Sound Using Toning