Strap-on Sex Harness Guide

This article will cover the basics of how to use a sex harness and the different types of sex harnesses. We will also explore the different ways to use a sex harness and how one can use them for either vaginal or anal sex as well as with sex toys for erectile dysfunction (ED).

A strap-on dildo can be worn by anyone and is designed to provide penetration both vaginally and anally. Sex harnesses can be made out of a variety of materials. However, it is essential to make sure that you purchase a dildo that is nontoxic and is phthalate-free to prevent health problems such as hormone disruptions and cancer.

As you read this article, please note that we only sell body safe, phthalate-free sex toys and paraben-free lubricants, so we have done all the hard work of researching safe sex toys for you. If you already own a dildo that you are not sure about, you can reference our Body Safe Sex Toys Guide to help you determine if your sex toy is body safe and nontoxic.

In addition to ensuring that your sex toys are nontoxic, the most important aspects of purchasing a harness and dildo is to make sure that they fit well together, are comfortable to use, and provide you with control. After all, the last thing you want to do is get something that is uncomfortable, painful or flops around, making penetration difficult. 

How To Find The Right Sized Dildo

A common mistake in choosing a dildo is assuming that bigger is always better. If a dildo is too long, it can hit the cervix of your female lover and cause pain, and if it is too wide, it can cause uncomfortable vaginal stretching and even tearing, which can be painful. If it is too large for anal penetration, it can cause tissue damage as well as pain. Ensure that you are very clear about what would be comfortable for you and your lover by determining the size you desire before purchasing a dildo.

We have an extensive guide that will help you determine the perfect sized dildo or an insertable sex toy through our How To Measure A Dildo & Sex Toys Guide.

Make sure to read this carefully as dildo size is an essential part of making sure that your strap-on experience is not just comfortable but pleasurable.

Why Use A Strap-On?

Strap-on dildos attached to sex harnesses allow for hands-free penetration and creative sexual positions, prolonging sex, double penetration, prostate massage, and even making masturbation easier. There are also ways to use strap-ons to manage erectile dysfunction.

Anyone can use a strap-on, but it should be noted that some are specifically designed for those with a penis, and others are designed for those with a vagina. Below are the most common uses of a strap-on:

Prolonging Sex

When a heterosexual couple wishes to prolong sex by keeping a man from having an orgasm, they can use a strap-on so that he can provide penetration without inserting his penis into the vaginal opening. This allows her the pleasure of penetration for extended lengths of time until she is ready to have her partner penetrate her.

During the use of the strap-on, the male partner may also choose to receive sexual stimulation to his penis and testicles through use of a vibrator or his lover's hands. He can also opt to use a harness that provides prostate stimulation.

Sex toys allow for variety and creativity, so there are many different ways to utilize strap-ons with other sex toys, which will be reviewed later in this article. These strap-on options can also apply to gay and post-surgical trans male couples.


Erectile Dysfunction

When a penis is unable to reach a full erection, whether it is partially erect or flaccid, a strap-on may be the right choice. There are two options for using a strap-on dildo and sex harness with erectile dysfunction:

• Use a hollow dildo and insert the penis inside it while thrusting into your lover.
  
  
• Get a harness that allows using a dildo while resting inside the harness or having the penis come through an opening in a harness.

We cover more on specific erectile dysfunction strap-on dildo options later in this article.

Anal Penetration & Pegging

Pegging is performed by a woman (cis or trans) who performs anal sex on a man by penetrating him anally with a strap-on dildo. She may also simultaneously stimulate his genitalia. This is done primarily for men to receive prostate massage, which is not just pleasurable but healthy for you as it has been proven to reduce the risks of prostate cancer.

Learn more about this through our Anal Strap-On Pegging Guide.

Anal penetration can also be delved into more thoroughly with our helpful guide: How To Use Anal Toys.

Oral Sex

In some situations, couples may find it visually erotic to watch their partner simulate oral sex on a strap-on dildo. A strap-on dildo can also be used on a partner, allowing one or both partners to give oral sex. This is most common with leg, arm, and hand harnesses but can be done with a traditional sex harness.

Female to Female Sex

This is when a woman uses a strap-on with another woman, either vaginally, orally, or anally.

Male to Male Sex

Men can also opt to use a strap-on with one another anally and orally.

Masturbation

Both men and women can use a strap-on for masturbation. A woman can use it for vaginal or anal penetration while a man can use it for prostate massage. Typically when used for masturbation, strap-ons are secured to a pillow, chair, or other items that will allow the user to ride or thrust themselves against the dildo without having to use their hands. They can also combine the use of a strap-on with other sex toys for increased sexual stimulation.

Using Sex Toys & A Strap-On Dildo

Combining other sex toys with strap-on dildos allows for creative sexual play. Below are some examples of how to use different sex toys with a strap-on dildo:

Vibrating Cockrings

By attaching a vibrating ring over a strap-on dildo, you can make it a dual or even a triple-action stimulating sex toy with stimulation going to the clitoris, anus, and even the perineum.

Penis Extenders

To make a dildo larger during strap-on sex, you can attach a penis extender that can add both width and length as well as vibration if you opt to get a vibrating version.

C-Shape Sex Toys

The recipient can use C-shape sex toys while a partner uses a strap-on dildo.

Vibrators

Vibrators can be used with a partner or solo in addition to using a strap-on dildo. You can use vibrators with a strap-on dildo for penetration while also stimulating the clitoris, nipples, anus, and penis. These can include clitoral vibrators, vibrating dildos, anal vibrators, and many other varieties.

Butt Plugs

You can use hands-free sex toys such as butt plugs while wearing a harness the recipient of the strap-on dildo can also have a butt plug inserted if the dildo is inserted vaginally.

Lubricants & Strap-Ons

Lubrication is encouraged when using a strap-on dildo to prevent discomfort. Even when used vaginally where a dildo can be lubricated naturally, putting a dry dildo inside (especially with strong thrusting) can cause irritation and pain. It is why we highly recommend using a safe, water-based lubricant for all of your sex toys as they make even clitoral sex toys feel intensified and more pleasurable. There are no harmful chemical interactions that occur to sex toys when using water-based and paraben-free lubricants. It is, of course, especially important to use lubricant for anal penetration as there are not enough natural fluids in the anal canal and rectum.

To learn more about lubricant selection, make sure to read our Lubricant Guide.

Types of Harnesses

The O-ring Harness

The O-ring harness can come in a variety of styles and can be made with metal, rubber, or silicone. O-rings hold a flared-based dildo in place on the harness. Using a stretchy silicone O-ring instead of a metal one is helpful as it allows you to use different sized dildos more easily allowing it to stretch over them. Some O-ring harnesses will enable you to swap out different sized O-rings, while others flex and permit only swapping out different sized dildos.

 
Vac-U-Lock

The patented Vac-U-Lock system by Doc Johnson is a peg with special ridges that protrudes out of the harness and is held in by snaps. The peg is then put into the bottom of dildos that are made for the Vac-U-Lock system. The Vac-U-Lock products can work with O-ring harnesses if they have a flared base, or you have the plug accessory to give it a flared base.

Harness Styles

The next aspect of a harness is the style. There are several from which to choose, and each offers pros and cons. One thing to keep in mind is that the thicker the straps and ability to tighten them, the more control you will have of your strap-on dildo, and it is why we typically carry those styles over the thinner strapped harnesses. Using a sturdy harness will mean that you can thrust harder and that the harness will stay in place, keeping it from chafing you or sliding around and making it difficult to control the dildo.

Make sure when you decide to purchase a harness to check the size compatibility for your waist and hips and the minimum and maximum diameter of the dildo or plug that your harness can accommodate.

Also, remember that when choosing a harness, if you intend to use a hollow dildo and wish for a male partner to insert his penis inside it, you have to get a harness that has an opening for him to come through.

Double Strap Harnesses

The double strap harness is the most popular type of harness as it is one of the most comfortable and affords stability for control. It also allows a man to wear it as his testicles and penis can often usually fit in-between the straps; however, this depends on the design. These types of sex harnesses tend to have the best reviews when it comes to control.

G-string Harnesses

The G-string harness ranges in widths. Some are thicker, while others are nothing more than an elastic band running up the back much like a G-string. The thicker they are, the more control over the strap-on dildo you will have. For that reason, we recommend using one that is a little wider. This will also keep it from riding up your behind if you do not desire it.

Corset Harnesses

The corset harness typically comes in the double straps style with a waist that is done up with string or ribbon for a lingerie style look. They are generally marketed to women (cis or trans) but can also be worn by anyone as long as the testicles and penis can fit comfortably in a specific model. They can be as sturdy as some of the double straps, but it entirely depends on the brand of harness you ultimately get.

Arm & Thigh Harnesses

This harness is versatile in that it can be used on your limbs, but it can also be placed on a piece of furniture or around a pillow, which can make masturbation and couples play more creative. The control factor is reasonably good. However, it is not as sturdy as a two-strap harness, and care must be taken not to cut off circulation by wearing it too tight or for too long.

Panties, Underwear & Boxers Harnesses

Underwear, boxer and panty harnesses are comfortable to wear and offer the ability to have more spontaneous use of a harness because you can wear it anytime as under clothes. They have slightly less control than an adjustable harness such as a two strap, but consumers have indicated they are quite effective harnesses and are growing in popularity.

More elaborate underwear harnesses can have two internal panels that offer the wearer a covered dildo base or full contact with the body through the hole. Internal mini bullet vibe pockets allow for additional sensations for both you and your partner. These are comfortable and sturdy, with just slightly less control than a double strap.

Strap-on Vibrators

Keeping a vibrator hands free is perfect for intercourse as it allows a couple to have the vibrator on while penetrating them with a penis or strap-on dildo. Hands-free vibrators come in a variety of styles. You do not necessarily need a harness to use a hands-free vibrator.

Hollow Strap-On Dildos

Hollow dildos that strap-on come in both vibrating and non-vibrating models. They are often used for men who have erectile dysfunction (ED) and are typically compatible with other harnesses even though most come with elastic band style harnesses already. We will cover more about hollow dildos below. 

Strapless Strap-Ons

A strapless strap-on is a wearable, hands-free dildo that is designed to penetrate the wearer as well as a recipient. Please see our Strapless Strap-On Guide to learn more about them. 

Harness Sets

Harness sets are great for beginners and experienced users as they take the compatibility factor out of the equation. This means that you do not have to figure out the dildo's diameter and the O-ring diameter to see if they will match as the set is already designed to do that. Most come with an O-ring that will fit other dildos so you can always add more to your collection later.

However, keep in mind that harnesses with a stretchy O-ring easily adapt to most dildo sizes, so do not feel like you have to get a harness set for easy compatibility.

Hollow Dildos & Erectile Dysfunction

With limited options for erectile dysfunction when Viagra does not work or cannot be taken, there are a few options that sex toys can offer before one would consider doing something as extreme as a penile implant.

Penis Pumps & Rings

If you are able to get a partial erection or cannot hold it, you may want first to consider using a penis pump to help engorge the penis with blood and then use a penis ring that slides down to the base of the shaft to hold the blood in and keep the erection firm until ejaculation occurs. There are some myths about what a penis pump and penis rings (cockrings) can do, so we have put together articles that will help you better understand how to use them, what they can offer, and how to use them without causing tissue damage.

Hollow Dildos & Two Hole Harnesses

If you wish to explore using a strap-on dildo, whether you can get erect and hold the erection, then there are two options. The first is to use a hollow dildo, and the second is to use a harness that allows you to fit inside or outside of it while you penetrate using a dildo. There are some pros and cons to using each, and it is essential to review them so that you make sure that you do not get something that will not work for you or your partner.

Hollow Dildos

Despite the large sex toy industry, very few companies make hollow dildos on the market today, and even fewer make them so that they are nontoxic. We carry the best nontoxic hollow dildos available and if you are looking for something in particular please let us know. There are a few things to note about hollow dildos that are currently available on the market today:

They are typically 1.7 - 2 inches in diameter on the outside. We have not found a model at this time that is smaller in width. The large diameter on hollow dildos is on purpose so that a penis will fit inside whether you are semi-erect or flaccid. Many couples find it challenging to use these larger dildos because the recipient partner often finds them too big and may even find it painful.

In addition, many hollow dildos that are currently on the market are typically very firm on the inside and do not provide stimulation to the male user in any way. This means there is no stimulation for the penis and that is why we often recommend the double hole harness option below.

Double Hole Harness Option

One of the most well reviewed options that we offer to couples dealing with erectile dysfunction is to use a harness with two holes in it. This allows the couple to use any dildo they like so that they can choose size, color, texture, and material while allowing for skin to skin contact of the genitals (which hollow dildos are not designed to do).

This works because the male puts his penis in the bottom hole and then puts the dildo in the top. This allows him to penetrate while still rubbing up against his lover, providing skin-to-skin contact and stimulation. In addition, if he is erect, he can penetrate his lover without having to take off the harness.

Double Hole Harness

When asked by our customers for the best strap-on dildo to use with a harness when a man has erectile dysfunction we highly recommend they double-hole harness style with a silicone dildo. Also, most customers indicate that they want a dildo that is a realistic feeling. 

Some silicone dildos do not feel realistic to the touch but once inserted vaginally or anally that is not as noticeable. Others have a velvety brushed feeling which is more realistic. Because of the quest of realistic, many consumers are attracted to skin-like materials such as Cyberskin. The problem with these skin types of materials (TPE or TPR elastomers) is that they are very porous and tear easily, thus they do not last long and harbor bacteria easily.  

When a sex toy is porous, it can hold onto bacteria easily, and it is much more challenging to keep clean. To clean them, you must use a spray-on toy cleaner, let the cleaner get down into the pores and then rinse it off. You cannot use soap as it will stay in the pores, and create a soapy lather the next time you use it. It is essential to keep the bacteria off a sex toy as it can cause a urinary tract infection (UTI) or even contribute to a yeast infection.

This is why our customers often ask us if we have silicone sex toys that feel like skin and are realistic to the touch. Many silicone dildos do have a velvety smooth and slightly squishy feel to them, much like a real penis. They are rigid like an erect penis and will not flop around like Cyberskin style dildos. Finally, because they are made with high grade silicone, they are durable, nonporous and will not harbor bacteria making them very easy to clean.

Pure, platinum cured silicone dildos tend to be more expensive than other dildos because the silicone material is more expensive for manufacturers to use; however, it is well worth it because they are also extremely durable and will last a lifetime, unlike other dildos that may have to be replaced after a couple of years if not sooner. 

Make sure to check out our Sex Toys For Erectile Dysfunction Guide for more help in choosing a sex toy.