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Twilight Draw- Why Women Love It
Explore the phenomenon and understand why women love Twilight. Also, learn how couples can incorporate its main themes into their relationship to make it even better.

Twilight Frustration
Why men in particular are sometimes frustrated by being compared to the Twilight fantasy and are tired of having their wives and girlfriends go crazy over Edward Cullen and Jacob Black.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

TwiSex - Twilight Inspired Sex
How to bring the romance of Twilight into your bedroom and even your daily life.

Negative Reactions To Twilight
Reviewing some of the problems people have had with the books and movies and the negative reactions it has created in some.

Twilight Sexual Products?
Yes, there are Twilight inspired sex toys and products, learn what they are - from an inspired Edward Cullen sparkly dildo to glitter lube. We will discuss and show you what they are with a HUGE sense of humor as we do.

Twilight Sexual Controversy
Explore some of the serious and insane sexual controversies that surround the movie and actors in it.

Twilight- What I Uncovered

Those of you who are long time fans of my work, may be wondering why on earth I would be writing about Twilight, but I found some pretty interesting things to share with you all and wanted to take you on my journey of figuring out what the mass draw is, why people also dislike it, how you can better your relationship from gleaning some underlying romantic themes, sexual controversies about it and my favorite, which are the crazy sexual products inspired by it.

My Own Twilight Experience

This story begins when I was in the video store and happened to see promotional materials for the movie Twilight: Eclipse, along with the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob materials. I had seen advertisements for the movies and had no idea what they were about, other than vampires and werewolves. I had assumed that they appealed to teenagers and vampire fans and never gave it much consideration.

Out of curiosity, I asked what Twilight was about and was told that it was not a typical vampire movie, rather, it was more of a love story and that is why so many women love it. I looked at the helpful video store employee and said...

"Well, you mean a love story for young girls and teenagers right?"

"No," he said, with great enthusiasm, "any age, even grandmothers love these movies and of course these were inspired by the books by Stephenie Meyer."

Then another employee came out and said that she had gotten it for her 14 year old niece, but once she saw it, she was hooked and she matter of factually informed me that she is 38 years old and is for Team Jacob. I was a bit taken back by her reference to choosing a team, but I was more focused on the smile she had on her face; it was as if she was sharing something that seemed to light her up inside. I found myself smiling in disbelief and was intrigued.

I shrugged and got the first movie- Twilight and sat down on a Sunday afternoon to take it in with an open mind. By the end of the movie, my husband, who had already seen it when it had first came out and had not been very impressed, peeked in and asked if I had liked it. I sheepishly smiled and told him I was hooked.

I told him it reminded me of us and he shrugged, not seeing how I was comparing our relationship to a vampire story. I laughed, realizing that he had only seen it because he had thought it was going to be an exciting horror movie, as he loves those. At the time, I could not articulate my thoughts well enough to explain to him why it had moved me so much and made me think of him; so I decided to spend some time analyzing what it was that I liked so much and how to explain what made me feel closer to my husband because of it.

I mean, there was the obvious reason... my husband and I met in high school and have an incredible, unconditional, loving relationship and while he does not sparkle on the outside, when I look in his eyes, he does from the inside.

However, there was more to it. The more I loved this movie series and eventually the books, the more I became a woman with a mission.

I felt that what I had discovered for myself was something I wanted to share, not just with my husband, but anyone who would listen. The things I learned were meaningful & even funny.

The Twilight Phenomenon

I spent some time online, researching and learning more about the book and movie series. I began reading and watching videos on the media frenzy and my head started to spin. I felt like I had been living in a bubble, not to have known how insane the popularity of this was. I found that there were women that had created social groups around the series. I watched an older Oprah episode that had the cast on for the Eclipse premier and had gotten a group of women that called themselves the Twimoms (Twilight moms) with an official web site to boot.

As I watched the intensity of the fans, I almost felt a bit sorry for the actors (especially Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner) as they have become so intertwined with the characters of this story in the press and I wondered how they were handling all of this projection of fantasy by so many wild fans. At the same time, I thought, how fortunate for them... after all, what a successful career boost.

Lisa Lawless - Author of Twilight Romance & Sex

Needless to say, the reaction to the Twilight story was amazing to me, but I also realized that many people were missing some of the most important reasons for this, because, despite the excellent casting of these roles... there is something much more powerful than the actors and even the story that is the driving force behind the Twilight success, which I will explore shortly.

Negative Reactions To Twilight

Certainly, the Twilight series is not for everyone and it is not without flaws; things such as a few illogical character reactions to spelling and grammatical errors (someone needs a better editor) are certainly a struggle at times for the audience. So for those of you who disliked it for perfectly good reasons, I am not attempting to change your mind. Rather, there are some things it does bring up, which I think are important.

In my research, I did find that many of the articles on the Internet took a superficial look as to why women love Twilight; talking about how women love vampires and bad boys, etc. I was a bit blown away by how many people seemed to be missing the universal aspects and draw of the story.

Twilight Sexual Controversies

As an aside, I found some controversial things regarding sexuality when I was doing research for this article that have come from interviews, etc. One of the funniest ones was the comment that Robert Pattinson made about having had a photo shoot with nude models in Details Magazine. Robert was quoted as saying "I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina," when he was asked about the photo shoot.

What I learned of Robert, is that he tends to have a Monty Python style when giving interviews and often says outlandish things, which is unfortunately lost on most of the American press. I saw people online speculating that this meant he was gay (not that it should matter). Later, in a interview on ABC's show The View, he said that making such jokes often led to him having to explain them in later interviews.

I suppose that is the price of making saucy comments like that... I am sure I would get some upset emails if I joked that I hated cock; especially, if you could not see that I was being COMPLETELY sarcastic. Nonetheless, I found the whole thing amusing; not to mention the absurd rumor that he is pregnant and hiding it, according to one tabloid.

Another controversy goes both ways when it comes to the sexuality of the story. Stephenie Meyer has been criticized for being too risqué for a younger audience, while at the same time, she has been criticized for having Mormon-influenced ideas on sexuality and abstinence. What I found was that she has stated that she had not consciously intended her novels to be Mormon influenced or promote sexual abstinence and as for the audience, she wrote the books for herself, not targeting a certain age group.

The Unrealistic Fantasy

One of the most compelling things I read, were from men complaining that the Twilight story fueled an unrealistic fantasy that they could never live up to. I thought to myself, whoa, hold the phone... we need to educate couples that while fantasies do have elements to them that are not realistic, the underlying themes of the Twilight series are completely obtainable.

So, I made my way back to my original question regarding the Twilight story... which was - what was it that made so many women love this series and why were so many like giddy teenagers that had fallen in love for the first time when they experienced it?

Key Components of Passion in Twilight

Youthful Feelings Of Love: Yearning & Longing

It is good to be hungry for passion, and one could say that the Vampire theme is a metaphor of this when it comes to the Twilight story. We tend to lose our hunger (passion) in our long-term relationships as we trade it in for stability.
But we need to be reminded of our hunger for one another from time to time and while we will never recapture the initial excitement of a honeymoon period, there are certainly ways to keep rediscovering one another and make a long-term relationship exciting and invigorating.

There is also a deeper kind of love that is only known from a long relationship that grows as it allows partners to evolve through experiences. After all, Edward and Bella, while they may be immortal in the end, are not perfect. Like all couples that go the distance, they are going to have to deal with their every day lives, but even more so to say the least.

Unconditional Love

Understanding how rare unconditional love is allows us to better appreciate the relationship we have when we are in one that has it. One of the ultimate things that all humans desire, is to be loved as we are. The movie Avatar captured this when they used the expression "I see you." It is the human experience to desire having a witness to our life and know that despite our struggles, we can be loved and love another completely.

Love That Transcends Time

The idea that we will be loved forever, lends itself to the constant desire we have as humans to be remembered and loved, even when we are no longer in this life. The idea that we will always be loved is comforting and can be seen through many examples in our daily life, such as memorials, sharing our personal stories and heirlooms.

Also, there is a fierce and strong beauty to our temporary lives... as every time I hug and kiss my husband, I know it may be the last time that I get to do it in this life and that is something far more tender and endearing than knowing we are guaranteed tomorrow. It is also something that Edward and Bella ultimately do not have (unless they piss off the Volturi).

Romantic Drama & Conflict

Life would be pretty boring if we always knew what was coming. The unknown brings an edgy feeling that we could lose something very precious to us and often we live under the delusion that we know what tomorrow holds, which, if done for too long can dampen our passions.

When we fall in love, we take a leap of faith that we may be terribly hurt if we pursue it. Romance is often more strongly felt and even more passionate when we have to overcome fear to get it. It is why courtship can be a strengthening tool for a relationship. We better understand what the love we feel means to us and what is at stake if we were to lose it. It is this awareness that makes us feel alive and passionate and often times, daily tasks divert our attention from the risks we took to come into a relationship in the first place.


In every relationship, there is the question of holding on or letting go. What makes us loyal when we feel insecure, bored and even frustrated defines us. It shows integrity to give of ourselves and it is an attractive aspect for anyone to exhibit.

Restraint & Will Power

A truly romantic gesture on Edward's part can be seen in the first movie, where he is able to only take enough blood to save Bella from the venom that is killing her, despite her blood being his "own personal heroin" and something that he is not sure that he can restrain himself regarding.

Showing this kind of restraint in not harming the ones we love through our behavior is something that many of us struggle to do, despite our best efforts. From the daily frustrations that cause us to disrespect or even lash out at our partner to avoiding the temptations of dishonesty and even infidelity. Showing restraint around those things that we know can hurt our partners is one of the deepest ways we can show love.

The Road Less Traveled & Being Unique

Edward had not known true love until Bella came along and it gives light to the desire that we want to be thought of as unique, precious and irreplaceable. It is a deep desire that most people feel and is seen within the Twilight story. Bella is also an embodiment of "any woman" as her appearance is of the girl next door and she is loved for her kind heart and strength, not her appearance. We all want to be seen for what is inside us and appreciated for who we are and this story embraces that.

The other aspect is that Bella is choosing a road less traveled and it is her journey that also makes a more interesting life experience. Doing things that showcase our unique talents, tastes and desires makes us feel more connected to ourselves and others. Being loved for this is a most wonderful and validating feeling.


Women's roles have greatly changed over the years and while many of us are mothers, career women and more; what is sometimes lost on men, is that while women don't need men the way we used to, we still want and desire them and we most definitely want to be nurtured, respected, treated well and loved by them. In fact, it would seem more flattering to men in this light... it validates that while we are not dependent on you, we still passionately want you and want you to want us. It is why Edward opening the door for Bella, watching over her, protecting her, nurturing her is so damn hot!


One of the sexier scenes in the first Twilight movie, is when Edward tells Bella not to move so he can come in slowly to kiss her. Just before he does, he smiles and makes a small sigh; one that reminded me of another scene in the 1993 movie True Romance, when Christian Slater takes a look at Patricia Arquette in the phone booth before he ravages her and does a similar expression, as through he is looking at the juiciest apple he has ever seen.

To be desired is something most anyone will tell you feels good and is pretty much a no-brainer as to why this is appealing.

The Forbidden

The intrigue of Edward wanting Bella, even though he knows he shouldn't draw her into such a cursed life, demonstrates a level of uncontrollable yearning and the reckless abandon that love often drives us to feel.


During many scenes we see jealousy between the characters Edward and Jacob and women love this. Often jealousy is seen as a bad thing, and it can be when taken to extremes. However, some jealousy can be a sign that you love and appreciate your partner and want to share something unique and special between just the two of you. Wanting your partner to desire you in this way is something that most everyone has felt at one time or another.

The New Take on Power Vs. Submission

Women are often dealing with a thousand details every day. Our to do lists are often in the triple digits and we never have enough time to get everything we want done. The idea of someone that loves us, coming in and showing us love and support without us asking for it. Yum! Having a man take control by doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed and then kissing my neck and telling me how beautiful I am... well, honey... you had me at the clank of the dishes going in the dishwasher.

Edward represents this kind of power in an old school kind of way... he intuits what Bella wants and needs and men should take note of how powerful this can be.

Sex & Death

An element that plays a part in the Twilight series is the play of energy between sex and death. There is something so powerful to the idea that the kind of sexual intensity that Edward feels toward Bella will get so passionate that he may lose control and the sex could be so exciting that she could die. It is an extreme aspect that is appealing when it comes to this story, but certainly something neither of them really wants. It does create for some dramatic, passionate scenes though and something that can't be ignored.


TwiSex (Twilight Sex)
Bringing the Romance of Twilight into the Bedroom - Exploring How To Ignite The Passion

Express Your Love

Many people tell their significant other that they love one another all the time. In fact, I personally say it instead of goodnight or good-bye when I speak with my husband as I always want it to be the last thing he hears me say. However, what is even more powerful, is when one of us has a "moment," when we just step out of our daily grind for a minute and really just let ourselves become overwhelmed with love for the other. My husband and I don't hesitate to run over and hug the other and tell each other what we are feeling and just kiss one another. It is one way that we keep our passion ignited.

Romantic Quotation from Edward In Twilight:

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire, there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

Another way we can express our love is through small gestures every day. One of the things my husband always does for me is gives me the best of whatever there is... for example, if he is making a meal and there is a choice of a juicier tomato or better made pancake, he always gives it to me. He still does that for me after all our years of marriage and it brings a tear to my eye just to share that with you.

Don't be shy, we have but one life to live, and all our moments count. Express your love.

Break Your Routines

Nothing kills romance faster than taking someone for granted and that can easily be created by getting stuck in monotonous routines. Make sure that you bring awareness to the true passions you have for life and for your partner.

Starting with yourself is important, as it is when we feel that we are not living our life by giving passionately to and of ourselves, that we can easily numb ourselves to receiving love as well. Dare to ask yourself what is important to you in this short life and like a bucket list, start making steps toward fulfillment of them. Share them with your partner and ask them to explore their own passions. Then hold hands and take flight in making those things happen.

Be Chivalrous

Do not underestimate how much respect, appreciation and love can be shown through chivalry. A simple gesture can show adoration, such as opening a car door, making sure she has a coat when it is cold and pulling her chair out for her.

Personally, I like to show my husband those types of gestures of affection as well... nothing says to my husband, that I care about him, like putting a warm blanket on him when he is watching TV or opening the door for him. Don't forget it should go both ways.

Go On Verbal Dates

Don't forget about the importance of just the two of you. Dates are meant to help you connect with one another and going to dinner and a movie is nice, but one of my favorite kind of dates is simply curling up with my husband and just talking. We are always making each other laugh and there is nothing better to spark intimacy when we just talk to one another about anything and everything.

Sometimes couples actually find they stop talking to their significant other like they would a friend. It is important to treat your partner as a friend not just a lover. Remember to tell one another about things you experience, dream about, feel and desire and never stop making one another laugh and have fun.

Soul Gaze

My hubby and I joked about how much staring there was in the first movie and we have begun these comedic, smoldering looks from across a room to make each other laugh. Sometimes, we do a staring standoff or when my husband does it, I laugh and say in a naughty tone, "You want to bite me don't you?"

However, recently, when we were discussing me writing this article, we agreed often times, in a long-term relationship, you forget to really look at one another in their eyes and do what many call soul-gazing as used in Tantric sex.

In Tantric Soul Gazing, it is believed that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Quick tips to soul gazing, which can be done during sex or during sexual activity:

Quiet you mind and focus on your breath and the love you feel for your partner. Slowly breath in and out in a rhythmic fashion. With you left eye, look into your partner's left eye and let your right eye relax. To feel the energetic connection you make with one another, move closer and further away and become aware of the change in connection you feel. Do this for as long as you desire, but know that the power of your mind to let go and completely surrender yourself to your partner will make all the difference.

Explore & Get Creative

Many couples have a hard time getting creative in the bedroom, not just because they do not know the latest sexual positions or sex techniques (which you can read all about through our sex technique articles), but it is the fear of breaking out of the norm that keeps them from letting go. I am not suggesting that you delve into whips and chains, although that could be really hot ;-)... what I am suggesting is that you let go of worrying so much. Let go of being self conscious, how else are you going to know what unconditional love is, if you cannot fully be yourself around your partner? If sex scares you, start off small. Make a project of drawing, painting, or even sculpting a sensual piece of art. Write a poem, song or do any other creative thing that appeals to you with the intention of making it sensually creative and then share it with your partner. You may find that is really all it takes to get things moving toward getting hot and heavy.
If All Else Fails

Buy a Volvo S60R or C30, gold contacts, pour glitter on yourself and your lover, stare at them for long times, slowly kiss them until you just can't help giving them a bite.


Twilight Sexual Products

As I was researching the Twilight series, I came across two sexual products related to it and of course they are not endorsed in anyway by anyone working with the Twilight series.

The first product, I found out about was through an interview that Robert Pattinson (who plays Edward) had. He was discussing some of the weird products that are being marketed with his image on them. He laughed and said that there was someone pushing "Twilight Glitter Lube." I have to say he seemed to have a rather good sense of humor about it and found the whole Edward Cullen Glitter Lubricant idea amusing.

Out of curiosity, I looked for who was trying to pass this crazy idea off and thankfully, I could not find it. All I can say about Glitter lube, if you find it, avoid it! Personal lubricants with any type of glitter would not be advised for good sexual health. I do not want to even think about how one would get it out or what kind of toxins it may have in it and I am not referring to vampire toxins.

There is nontoxic hair and body glitter that works well and we have that offered below. You use this, special Twilight contacts and you are good to go. You may want to blast the song Supermassive Black Hole by Muse or if you are in a more contemplative mood, the Van Morrison style Robert Pattinson song - Never Think. :-)

The second product is a sparkly white dildo called the Vamp by Tantus. Tantus is a solid sex toy company; they make high quality, medical grade silicone sex toys and I felt a little mixed about the whole idea of a dildo that sparkled like a vampire. However, for those who crave adventure I can tell you that if you want one, we are offering it below just for this article.


These products are only offered on this page as they are specific to the Twilight article-

Please note that as mentioned in the article above, these ARE NOT official Twilight products. So, if you were thinking that Robert Pattinson signed off on an Edward Cullen Dildo, you would not only be mistaken, but may have fallen off a cliff into the ocean of insanity.

We are offering these products with a HUGE sense of humor and hope that you get a kick out of them as we did. Honestly, adding the vampire sparkly dildo to our site is one of the funniest things we have ever done.

Twilight Edward Inspired Dildo
Twilight Inspired Vampire Teeth
Body Gliiter Like Twilight ( Not Glitter Lube)
The Vamp Dildo
Vampire Teeth
Body Glitter

The Vamp by Tantus is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone and retains hot and cold temperature.

Length: 6 3/4"
Insertable: 6 1/4"
Circumference: 5"
Diameter:1 1/2"

While Twilight vampires do not have fangs, you can always add for a cool effect. These snap on teeth use a patented molding system ensures a perfect fit that will not interrupt your speech and are made with a safe, Nontoxic dental material. They are easy to use and are reusable.

Shimmer like a Vampire with this nontoxic Stardust Glitter. Comes in a 2-ounce plastic jar. The glitter can easily be applied to the skin or hair. The special formula lasts for hours and washes off easily.

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