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What is Healthy & What is Not

Masturbation can be a very healthy way of expressing your sexuality. It has proven health benefits as well as psychological perks and can provide a variety of pleasures. Some worry whether they are within the norm when it comes to masturbation and a good rule of thumb is that as long as you can still function in the world, at school, your job, with family and friends, there's nothing wrong with a high frequency of masturbation.

Red flags include masturbating instead of taking care of your day to day 'life business' that needs tending; masturbating to the point of compulsive behavior, obsessing over the next time you can do it, or doing it to the point of causing physical damage to your genitals from constant stimulation.

Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

A common concern is the frequency of masturbation. 'Normal' ranges from several times per day, week or month to never masturbating at all. The frequency of masturbation isn't a problem unless it is linked with an obsessive compulsive disorder, where the same activity must be repeated over and over as describe above.

Is It Normal in a Relationship?

There's nothing wrong with masturbation in a relationship. The main source of conflict is when masturbation begins to take away from the intimacy of the relationship. The vast majority of couples continue to masturbate, perhaps not as frequently as they did when they were single, but they often still do it. Masturbation and couples sex are both a sexual release, but they fill different needs. Masturbation is about communing with you and couples sex is about communing with someone else.

In addition, using sexual stimulus tools such as porn, vibrators, etc. are also something that can enhance masturbation. To read more about this, see our article "Vibrators are for Women as Porn is for Men."

Benefits for Men

Ejaculatory Control: You might be interested to know that to learn ejaculatory control; sex therapists typically recommend... you guessed it - masturbation. Men can masturbate to practice their control and to identify what it feels like to approach their point of no return when ejaculation feels inevitable. So if you want to start learning control, practice while you masturbate: Approach your point of no return, then stimulate yourself less so you back away from it, then approach and back off repeatedly. That should help you learn control.

Benefits for Women

Increased Sex Drive: Believe it or not, masturbation helps to increase sex drive as it provides blood flow to the genitals and thus allows for a healthier vagina. Anxiety and stress greatly reduce the sex drive, using masturbation to relax and release, the body will certainly crave more of the same rather than less.

Better Sex: Also, women often find it more difficult to orgasm and masturbating affords women the opportunity to learn what pleasures them, which can be communicated to a partner during sex play, thus making their sex lives richer as well. Often women say that masturbation causes longer, more intense orgasms than they can experience during lovemaking.

Easier Menstruation
: Many women report that it helps ease menstrual cramps.

Benefits for Both Sexes

Stress Release & Health
Masturbation gives you pleasure both physically and mentally, while lowering blood pressure and releasing endorphins in the body. It also reduces cortisol levels, increases your immune system, allows for better sleep, relieves pain, decreases headache frequency, decreases depression and lowers your risk of heart disease, stroke, prostate and breast cancer.

Rich & Creative Imagination
This allows you to explore sides of your sexuality that may be taboo to your partner or embarrassing to you.


There is no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional trauma from masturbation.

Better Sex
Masturbation sessions allow you to be less inhibited than you would with a partner, be more creative and know your own body better so that you can better communicate your desires with them..

Myths about Masturbation

Masturbation has been erroneously blamed for a host of human ills, including:

  • Blindness
  • Feeblemindedness
  • Madness
  • Physical decrepitude
  • Sexual perversion
  • Reduced sexual function
  • Neurotic disorders

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