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Wedding Night Sex
Realistic Wedding Night Sex Tips

Weddings are often a time of joy, family, stress, parties, drinking, eating, gifts, flirtation and much more. The bride and groom often have their obstacles to hurdle as do the guests.

Sex is often a major topic from discussions, bachelorette and bachelor parties as well as the wedding night. The following is the first in a series of articles that we will be doing to cover all of these aspects and more.


Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sexuality Expert

CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS

Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning

Copyright © Holistic Wisdom, Inc.

Keep Expectations Realistic

A wedding can be exhausting, so it is important to understand that a romantic evening afterward may take some planning and consideration. Often times couples build up their wedding night in their mind to be the end-all sex experience in their minds. While it can be amazing, don't build wedding night sex up in your mind to be perfect because it is more about just having a relaxing, good, romantic time together.

Note for the sexually active couple
For couples who are already sexually active, you might try not having sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the wedding. Many couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again.

Note for the virgin-
You have waited so your expectations may be higher than someone who has had sex before. Your first time may be not be what you had expected, but don’t worry it can get a lot better. Make sure you bring a water-based lubricant and do everything you can to relax and just enjoy the evening.

Things To Do Before & During The Wedding

Flirt with each other during the wedding, remember to make time for one another in-between talking to everyone else by sharing sexy looks, laughter, kisses and even whisper naughty things into their ear. This will help build the excitement for later.

Take time to read sex instruction books or watch Better Sex DVDs that will give you pointers on how to better sexually please your soon to be spouse before the wedding night.

Plan ahead and get romantic items for the wedding night in advance as discussed later in this article.

Take It Easy

Most brides and grooms are exhausted from the emotional aspects of a wedding not to mention the stress, activities, dancing and drinking. While you both may be a little too tired to have the best sex of your lives you can make this night about simply connecting emotionally with one another. Even if you decide to save sex for the next day and sleep, there is no reason why you can't hold one another and enjoy being together on this special night.

Make sure to compliment your new spouse, you may both be feeling vulnerable and a bit out of sorts. Marriage is a big commitment and you both just took a leap of faith. Make sure to remind your sweetie just how wonderful they looked today and how much you love them in addition to thinking about the wedding night sex.

Because you will be tired, make sure you do things that relax you both. This is a great time to have a romantic time together, sensual massage, talking, bathing, snuggling and having a more intimate sexual experience.

Items To Have On Hand

Soy Scented Candles- These can create romantic lighting as well a an aromatic scent to delight your senses. Why soy? Because paraffin is toxic.

Romantic Music- Make sure to remember favorite CDs or MP3's that you can plug in for play to make things feel familiar. Many couples feel strange in a hotel for their wedding night and bringing items that will make you feel at home such as favorite songs you both love is a perfect way to set a relaxing mood.

Massage Oils & Lubricants- Bringing massage scented massage oils is a great way to give one another a relaxing massage as well as keep your bodies slickened and easily able to slide against one another. Bringing stimulating and flavored lubricants is another way to make sexual activities not only nice and wet, but also feeling and even tasting wonderful!

Sex Toys - Now is a great time to bring out your favorite sex toys. One of the favorites like the Hitachi Magic Wand doubles as a body massager in addition to a sex toy. You can also give your bride or groom a romantic gift basket as your way of inviting them into a whole new life with you full of sexual adventure!

Traveling With Sex Toy Tips- If you travel with them, make sure not to leave batteries in your sex toys, you don't want your suitcase buzzing!

Sexy Underwear- Make sure that you have some sexy undergarments to dazzle your new spouse with. This is a special day and deserving of special dressing underneath your clothes.

Rose petals and Exotic flowers- Most florists will have small bags of fresh roses petals for purchase that will last several days. Spread them along the floor leading from the door to the bed. Lay them out on the bed as well. Consider a few bouquets of roses or some more exotic flowers such as orchids, violets or lilies.

Chocolate- Most couples love chocolate, having some to enjoy whether it be in a box or even body chocolates is always a fun idea.

Champagne- Here’s a short list of our personal favorites: Dom Perignon, Perrier-Jouet, Veuve Clicquot or for the budget conscious- Andre.

De-stressing The Wedding Night

Planning a wedding can cause so much stress you lose sight of one another. Often times couples are so focused on wedding details, friends and family that they tend to feel disconnected from one another.

When the wedding night finally arrives, many couples feel a bit awkward in trying to reconnect after so much focus on everything else. Taking time to prevent some of the disconnect from one another and a little preparation is always a good idea for good wedding night sex.

Time Spent Before The Wedding

Keep Dating

Most likely you and your fiancée are saving money for the wedding and going out together has been significantly reduced. However, it might be wise to spend a little on treating yourselves to alone time, where you do not discuss the wedding, rather you spend your time talking about other, non-stressful things. Use this time to flirt, have a glass of wine if it suits you and relax for a candle lit, romantic dinner. Doing this before the wedding will help you to stay connected and prevent feeling out of sorts on your wedding night.

If you can't go to a nice restaurant, take a stroll through a park and have a picnic. The key here is not how much you spend on your dates, but making sure you have them. This will also set the tone for the marriage that your relationship is the priority, and that even under stress, you can come together and enjoy each other's company.

Declare Wedding Free Times

Have times that you set aside where the wedding is not the focus. Take a weekend where you do nothing but focus on fun with one another.

Plan Fun Activities Just For The Two Of You

Like To Cook?
Spend time making a special meal together.

Feel Like A Kid
Go to an amusement park and enjoy some childlike cutting loose.

Museums, Aquariums, Zoos
Make plans to go to places that you only take out of town visitors to. Often times there are many resources right in your own town that afford a day or evening of fun and a way to cut loose.

Play Some Games
Challenge your mate to a night of games: Pictionary, Scrabble, Backgammon, even good old cards. Heck, for laughs try some Go Fish! Also, if you want to play some naughty games, check out our selection!

Have A Movie Night
Don't just put in a movie, make it special, get out the popcorn, snowcaps and rootbeer! Jazz up a night in front of the TV with a comedy or romantic movie, and if you both have a favorite movie you have not seen in years... see that! Nothing like a night with the phone off the hook and some snuggley time.

Get Outta Town!
Take a drive to a town that you don't know very well. Spend the day discovering new shops and have a special lunch or dinner at a new place. Make the drive an adventure. Talk about funny childhood memories, play your favorite songs, talk about your fun times as a couple and even play games together like the license plate game.

Don't Forget To Do Nice Things For One Another

Give your sweetie a wonderful massage with scented candles, massage oils and soft music! You can even make it a mutual exchange.
Create your own meal, dessert or cocktail together. Then make up a name for it by combining your two names.
Write love notes on the steamy mirror while your sweetie is in the shower.
Make your them their favorite childhood meal for dinner.
Take turns reading aloud to each other from a book one chapter each night.
Find your love's car in a parking lot and tuck a love note under the windshield wiper.
Call your honey's favorite radio station and dedicate a song when you know he or she is listening.
Stop whatever you are doing and give your baby a big, wet kiss.

Things To Avoid At The Wedding

Don't Smash Cake On Their Face
This is so over done, it is passive aggressive, and the guests are most often not amused. If you are looking for something funny to do, try having the groom put the garter on his leg and have the bride take it off for a laugh, or have the bride grab the groom's tush during the first dance. These are loving, and humorous acts. Things like this also catch the guests off guard and add to the excitement.

Don't Drink Too Much
Imagine the hangover the next morning, let alone the groom's ability to get it up for the wedding night. There is no harm in getting buzzed and having a good time, but getting ripped is awkward for your guests and you risk ruining things by vomiting, passing out or even getting into arguments.

Take A Dance Lesson
Take some time to learn how to move on the dance floor. It can make a fun date before the wedding and will make the ceremony feel fun when you offer dazzling moves like a dip and twirl!

Write Your Own Vows
Saying something personal to one another during the ceremony often makes for some of the most moving weddings. You can make it short and sweet and even read from a note so as to make it less stressful, but just saying I love you without having the wedding officiant telling you to makes it personal.

Making A Honeymoon At Home

If you are looking to have your wedding night, or even wanting to make a romantic evening at home, here are some tips to make it special.

Clean Or Hire A Maid
Getting fresh bed sheets to new towels and a clean bathroom will enhance the setting for a home honeymoon.

Stock Up On Special Foods
Champagne, strawberries, chocolate and other romantic foods are a great way to enjoy a romantic evening together.

Provide Romantic Entertainment
From a romantic movie, book to music, make sure to enhance the evening with special entertainment that you will both enjoy.

No Phone or eMail
In this time of high tech we often make ourselves completely accessible to all of life's stresses. Turn them off and devote the night to one another.

Dress Sensually
Dress in sexy boxers, lingerie or night gown. Make the night special by dressing your best to make the wedding night sex even better.

Bring In The Erotic Gear
From massagers, oils, lubricants to sex toys you can create an erotic night to remember. If you are not sure what to get, feel free to choose from one of our gift baskets or simply contact us. We have everything you need to make an evening unforgettable.


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