Trusted for 24+ Years
Giving The Best Handjobs
Dr. Lisa Lawless, CEO of Holistic Wisdom
Clinical Psychotherapist: Relationship & Sexual Health Expert
Lingam Massage
Lingam is a Sanskrit word that means penis and is used for tantric massage. Lingam massage (handjob) is the manual stimulation of the penis, which can be performed solo or with a partner. A lingam massage goes beyond a handjob as it can involve stroking the penis as well as the testicles, perineum, and prostate. Using lingam techniques can prolong orgasms as well as assist in providing multiple orgasms.
How To Provide An Amazing Handjob
Providing an amazing handjob begins with the giver's mindset, which should convey desire, intimacy, and nurturing. Jerking the penis mechanically with your hand and viewing it as a chore will not provide mind-blowing sexual play.
In addition to a sensual mindset, a romantic atmosphere is always a soothing treat to the senses, including massage candles, erotic music, and massage oils. Of course, those things are not necessary for a good handjob; but they can be icing on the cake.
Handjob Pressure
The best way to start is gently, gradually sliding your hand up and down the penis with just your fingertips as first, creating soft strokes along the shaft and head of the penis. Once the penis is fully erect, softly grasp all of your fingers around the penis and move your hand up and down. Let your fingers linger around the head (glans) of the penis, especially the frenulum.
The Most Sensitive Part Of The Penis
The frenulum (fren-yuh-lum) is the most sensitive part of the penis. A great way to stimulate this part of the penis is by using the thumb to rub it while enclosing it with your hand wrapped around the head of the penis. To intensify this, take your other hand and hold the penis at the base, forcing the blood to the head (which will increase the intensity of the sensations). You can also use a penis ring to squeeze the base of the penis while you play with it.
Communicate
Gently ask if what you are doing feels good, if they want it harder or softer or if they might want something different. Allow them to tell you what they desire, what feels best, and take note of vocal sounds and body movements to interpret if your partner is enjoying the stimulation you are providing.
Handjob Lubricants & Oils
If you are not using lubricant, keep your strokes more gentle to avoid pulling on the sensitive skin of the penis. If you are using oils or lubricants, you can tighten your grip for more intense stimulation. Be mindful of your partner's responses to ensure they are enjoying the added pressure or if it is getting to be too much.
Handjobs are greatly enhanced with a lubricant. If you do not have access to a lubricant, using a substitute like hand cream, cooking oil, or cornstarch and water will also work. For lubricant suggestions, see our Ultimate Personal Lubricant Guide.
Lubricants You May Want To Avoid
If you use an oil, keep in mind that if you should have intercourse after the handjob and rely on condoms to protect from STDs or an unwanted pregnancy, it may compromise the condom.
Please see our helpful guides for more information:
Avoid Irritants
You may want to avoid oils or products with potential skin irritants. Even using something with essential oils (like cinnamon, orange, etc.) can cause irritation and inflammation to the skin. For more information about this see our guide: Allergies To Lubricant Ingredients.
Handjob Sex Toys
There are helpful sleeves that are designed especially for giving a handjob. They are typically shorter than masturbation sleeves as they can be used not just for a handjob but in combination with oral sex (fellatio). Handjob sleeves are featured under our masturbation sleeves section as they can also be used for mastubation.
In addition to handjob sleeves, you can also use male vibrators and other various vibrators to provide additional stimulation to the penis. Some people prefer manual stimulation, while others enjoy vibrators, so it will come down to personal preference as to whether or not this is a preferred type of stimulation. We make recommendations for related vibrators in our Male Masturbation Tips Guide.
Handjob Techniques
Milking
This is the most common approach. Use one or both hands to milk his penis as you slide up and down it. Speed and pressure may vary.
Making A Fire
Rub the penis between both palms as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of lubricants or light friction for this technique.
Head Of The Class
Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-lubricated palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the head in a back and forth or rotating motion.
Ball & Shaft
With the penis resting on the stomach, take one hand and massage the testicles softy. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.
Twist & Shout
Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. On the other hand, use a corkscrew motion as you slide up the penis. The twist can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.
Double Stroke
Use one hand to wrap around the base of the penis lightly and gently slide up to the head; before that hand leaves the head, have the other hand grasp the bottom of the penis and do the same thing so that both your hands are taking turns grasping and sliding up the penis. This motion can also be reversed to go down the penis rather than upward. Pressure and speed can vary.
Triple Delight
Use one hand to play with the outside of the anus while the other hand slides up his balls and penis, ending with added attention to the head. This works well with fellatio, except using one hand for the anus, one hand for the testicles, and your mouth on the penis. If your partner is open to it, see our Prostate Massage Guide for anal penetration as well.
In Closing
Lingam massage can be as enjoyable as fellatio or intercourse and can be a preferred form of sexual stimulation for those with mobility issues, sexual dysfunction, and disabilities. It can also be integrated with full-body massages. For more information on this, please see our Sensual Massage Guide.